the-gentleman-chronicler:

Looking back on it now, despite my moral conflict over the idea of bedding such a youthful body, and concerned about my failing in being able to deliver any satisfaction to Lestat with mine, I do regret not engaging in that intimacy with him back then.  It would have created all manner of additional difficulties for us.

The friendship we shared certainly couldn’t have survived the encounter without becoming something deeper.  I did want Lestat, no shame in saying so, and if I had given in to my desire for him then I doubt recovering from it would be an option.  He has been (mostly) careful about engaging me in attempts for intimacy since my turning.  Out of respect for me or due to his own concerns, I cannot say.

He is dangerous for me.  By giving into my lust even once I fear that I would become fixated on exploring it further.  And since I cannot even promise that any such attempt wouldn’t end in disaster, who knows whether it will ever come to pass.