♛ “Ohhh! Oh. Well…” Lestat trailed off. 

“To be honest I didn’t see that coming, either.” He ran a hand through his hair, shook it, letting it fall back into his face. “I had planned to keep tormenting him with immortality until he was on his death bed begging for it.” A smile drew across his lips and then vanished.

“The fact is that David was there for me, we were bonded powerfully in that experience… my emotions were almost too much for me to bear and he was my rock through it all. There were moments when I wanted to give up, sobbing into his arms like a child. The feel of his hands on ‘my’ body felt alien. When he spurned my advances, it hurt, why not support me in that way, as well? Is that not another form of comfort? Closeness?” 

“I understand now that some of that resistance on his part was due to his performance anxiety. Also, I think he still couldn’t see me inside that body, the man that I was and offered him was still a stranger to him.” Lestat swept his fingertips across his desk, clearing a little dust absently.

“His rejection was on my mind that night when I did it to him. His kind and soothing soul wed to that already attractive body drew me like a moth to the flame. At first I internally justified just touching him. Then I justified kissing him, then just a Little Drink. By the time I’d given myself permission to do those, I just… needed more. Needed him. Needed to try to have him with me always.” 

“He has since forgiven me but I will always feel that there’s a betrayal between us that can never be healed.”