A less than thorough summary of the Tale of the Body Thief

Lestat: WOW LIFE SUCKS ON THIS MAGICAL MALL ISLAND THAT DOUBLES AS OUR SAFE HAVEN (seriously what let me live there pls), GOING 2 THE DESERT, BE BACK NEVER
Other coven members: kay
Lestat: *gets a strong tan job* well fuck, i’m still alive, hi David
David: wat
Lestat: lol sweet pad bro
James: psssst hey kid, you wanna do some things?????
Lestat: UR DAMN RIGHT I WANNA DO SOME THINGS
David: LESTAT YOU CAN NOT SWITCH BODIES WITH THIS JAMES FELLOW HE IS A MONSTER AND A LIAR AND IT WILL END IN DISASTERRRRRRRRR
Lestat: i don’t see how this could possibly go wrong
David: did you even hear me?
Lestat: ok but
Louis: can u not *strops*
Lestat: LUMP OFF HAHAHAH I DO WHAT I WANT YOLOOOOO
Lestat/James: *Freaky Friday’d*
James: SMELL YA LATER *whoosh*
Lestat: rude…OOH DOGGIE 😀
Lestat: WAIT ALL OF THIS IS TERRIBLE BUT ALSO KINDA MAGICAL BUT MOSTLY TERRIBLE IDK WHAT I EXPECTED BUT PEEING IS GROSSSSsss….*pneumonia’d*
Gretchen: r u ok
Lestat: clearly not, Claudia
Grethcen: what
Lestat: what
Claudia: really though, r u ok, i’m not even really here
Claudia: p.s. you’re still an asshole
Lestat: 200 YEARS WILL GIVE YA’ SUCH A CRICK IN THE NECK
Gretchen: ur not that bad a person
Lestat: nah, i am tho. wanna smoosh, y/y
Gretchen: ok sure
Lestat: THAT WAS FUN *flies home*
Lestat: LOUIS MY LOV-
Louis: ENJOY AN ASS-HANDING– Oh…
Lestat: OW LOL WAIT HELP :(((((
Louis: NO SAVE URSELF
Lestat: Louis pls
Louis: ENJOY BEING ALIVE YOU TREMENDOUS LITTLE SHITTTttt… *disappears*
Lestat: I WILL BURN DOWN YOUR TRASH SHACK PLEB oh, so hey, Marius, while ur here-
Maruis: nah *disappears*
Lestat: Marius why 😥
Lestat: OH HI DAVID pls help I hecked up 😦
David: ok fine you scamp
Lestat: SHIT YES ROAD TRIP
Lestat: WE’RE ON A BOAT
David: Lestat pls
Lestat: wanna bump uglies
David: LESTAT FOCUS
Lestat: ok but do you
David: YOU MUST LEARN TO REDO THE THING
Lestat: :((((
David: in a few hours, we strike
Lestat: ok ok I GOT THIS
Lestat: DAMN I FORGOT HOW FINE I AM *puts on “Goodbye Horses”*
David: THE CHICKEN IS IN THE POT
Lestat: OK NOW????
David: yea, i brought a gun lol
Lestat: *SCHWIP*
James: gdi gdi gdi gdi
David: I’M TOO RICH TO DIE *blam*
Lestat: ??????
Lestat: PROFIT!!! zzzzz…
Lestat: DAVID WHERE ARE U
David: MIAMI, DUH AND/OR HELLO
Lestat: o i c
David: dark gift pls
Lestat: what, really, oka- WAIT JAMES YOU MOTHER FUCKER, LESTAT SMASH
David (James): x_x
Lestat: fuck oops
Lestat: *flies back* LOUIS LET’S REBUILD OUR HAPPY HOME
Louis: what
Lestat: wait, brb!! 😉 *gone*
Louis: um
David: writing is sweet
Lestat: lol nice hotel
David: YOU SCAMP
Lestat: how’s the whole being young again thing going for ya?
David: Lestat no
Lestat: David yes
David: OH GOD WHY- okay fine, but be gentle
Lestat: DRINKY DRINKY WELCOME TO THE *~*SAVAGE GARDEN*~*
David: woah, yeah this is pretty sweet, l8r tho
Lestat: DAVID WHERE ARE U
Lestat: I don’t know what I expected
Lestat: ugh w/e i’m a monster 😦 *flies home*
Louis: WELCOME HOME DOUCHE CANOE
Lestat: love u too boocakes
Lestat: wait what…David?????
David: ROAD TRIP PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
Lestat: AWWWWWW YESSSS 3TP 5EVARRRRrrrr…
Lestat: Wow I am still so alone 😦
THE END

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