me: So do you have recommendations for novels on vampires? Good ones? Not kiddie ones? Ones I haven’t read twice?
bookstore/librarian: The Historian, Dracula, Anne Rice’s original trilogy, Dark Dance, Fevre Dream, A Taste of Blood Wine, Sunshine, Anno Dracula, Carmilla—
me: ok good but I read them all
them: cool! How about–
me: I read it.
them: then there’s–
me: I read it.
them: ….
me: *sad bat noises*…………I have read them ALL.