♛Got a barrage of questions that are so similar in tone and landed in such succession that they are probably from the same gray face. My inbox reminded me somewhat of the rabble under Les Innocents, but the vampires of that filthy cemetery had a little more respect with their choice of questions, as you’ll see.

He says he’s chilled most of the time. Cold isn’t supposed to affect vampires, and yet here we are. It’s probably more psychosomatic than real cold, he usually complains of it more when I start scheming.

No, turtlenecks were a hideous invention. Even the word for them is unappealing. And I like turtles! Just… not their necks, particularly.

Ask @the-talamasca. They probably have more than one, as they have various operations.

No, I prefer it hot and fresh from the writhing source. Blood doesn’t microwave very well, either.

Just the fabulous butt I was born to darkness with! I had done some acrobatics during my time at the theatre. 

That’s nasty, and you must think I’m nasty to suggest such a thing to me. *waves it off*

That’s… should I be flattered? I’m sure there’s plenty of porn out there for you. 

I’ve taken him around on my motorcycles, and we’ve had intimacy just about anywhere you can imagine. Why are you calling it “humping” now? Lame, as they say. Humping implies a time-consuming, arduous, unsuccessful effort. Banging, fucking, ravishing, these are better words that apply to people who actually have sex, unlike you. 

I’ve already technically killed Louis, when I turned him, so that’s done. Fuck Armand because he’s probably got some amazing techniques. Marry Marius because I think we’d look good in the wedding pictures.