mewlink:

• “My stupid friends roped me into a mall scavenger hunt and you’re on the list” AU
• “We both wanted to rent a bike for an hour but the only one they have is a tandem bike” AU
• “You’re adopting the cat that I’ve been trying to adopt for a week now” AU
• “You just moved into the house next to my mom’s and she has you doing her yardwork” AU
• “I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waitor please help me” AU
• “My brother/sister asked me to break up with you for them i’m so sorry” AU
• “I’ve been receiving all your freaking mail since you moved out and you keep getting weird gifts from your brother make it stop” AU
• “Our dick landlord just evicted us both” AU
• “We both just moved in with our siblings and they’re neighbors” AU
• “I’m your neighbor and I can hear you fucking someone who shares my name” AU
• “Your cat got my cat pregnant and now I have all these kittens please take them” AU
• “I’m your ex, you are a cop, and I just got arrested for being drunk and disorderly” AU
• “Remember that one time in college when we were at that party and you asked a random stranger to pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah well that was me and we’re adults now” AU
• “You’re sort of famous and we vaguely know each other through bumping into each other all the time but the media thinks we’re dating” AU
• “You’re a cop, I’m a firefighter, we always work the same shifts” AU
• “You always ask me for help but I have weird health conditions that prevent me from doing so” AU
• “Your roommate cheated on me and I just threw your laptop out the window thinking it was his” AU
• “My kid just shot a bottle rocket into your window” AU
• “We’re both in the vegetable isle and I just burst into tears while staring at the cabbages” AU
• “That’s my fucking fish that you just caught give it back” AU
• “I’ve had a crush on you since the 11th grade but you’ve hated me ever since that one time” AU
• “The advertisement did not do you justice” AU
• “You jipped me of those concert tickets so I came to your house asshole” AU
• “You think I’m nervous because you’re interviewing me for this high end job but actually it’s because you’re stupidly hot” AU
• “Oh shit this isn’t my car” AU
• “You fell off the map 6 years ago and you think you can just waltz back into my life. Literally. You’re the dance instructor for my best friend’s wedding and we have history” AU
• “It’s 2am on the night of my 21st birthday and we gotta fix this fucking mess by morning or else we’re fucked ” AU
• “My dad’s a cancer patient and you’re his nurse” AU
• “Did I mention that I had a dream about you last night? Oh right we’ve never talked about before” AU
• “Lol this was a terrible idea” AU
• “juSt a game? jUST A GaMe????? FUCK YOU I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN” or the “so competitive it’s almost sexual” AU
• “Aren’t you the person from marti gras last year?” AU
• “We’re both on the same multiple stop flight schedules to go to the same destination so we might as well stick together. Also your shoulder is a very comfortable pillow.” AU
• “Fuck you and your bee farm I’ve had enough” AU
• “We’re in an exam study group and I just send you my nudes by accident oops” AU
• “Somehow my gallery sculpture piece looks exactly like you how weird” AU
• “That tattoo on your chest is the exact same as mine” AU
• “I was actually awake when you did that thing” AU
• “Why do we keep running into each other when we live on opposite sides of the country?” AU
• “We need to be really quiet but you have the hiccups” AU
• “Why do you always walk your dog at exactly 12am every night? Do you not enjoy sleep?” AU
• “For the love of God, what is making that noise?” AU
• “Somehow you manage to scare me everytime we run into each other and i already get frightened very easily let me live” AU