This is hard bc tbh I don’t pine for any of the three but OK HERE WE GO:

I can’t marry Bianca because I am a straight lady myself. I don’t think Marius or Armand would fuck or marry me if I killed one of them so… I’m forced into this first choice :-

Kill: Bianca- c’est dommage 😦 But I just don’t want to marry or fuck her so consider it a mercy killing. I would take no pleasure in it whatsoever, but I would have to set it up that I killed her in self-defense, which would be the only acceptable reason to do it, bc I wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret from powerful Mindly Gifted Marius and Armand who would definitely not Fuck or Marry me if they found out about a cold-blooded murder of their dearest Bianca!

Marry: Marius- choosing between him and Armand, overall I’d say Marius is more stable, he’s had long-term relationship experience with women and especially the alpha-personalities-clashing thing which would definitely happen between us. Plus “Burnadette de Romanus” would look great on paper.

Fuck: Armand- I wouldn’t marry Armand because I wouldn’t want him to get too relaxed and stop trying to impress/please me sexually, as sometimes happens in marriages. He’s probably a better lover than Marius, so he’d be my Mister (y’know? Like the way men have ‘mistresses’? Like that!). We’d keep it a secret from Marius bc I feel like canon!Armand would prefer it that way.

The other reason I picked Armand for Fucking privileges is because he knows how to party better than Marius, and I don’t need to prove that by sharing examples bc that’s just CANON.