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This is accurate, but it isn’t just anons. It’s virtually everyone to some degree. 

I don’t mean offense by that. Most of the time, people just want to help. Or they’re excited. I even do it to other girls myself sometimes. We give unsolicited advice, suggestions, “you should”s and so on.

We try to control, even in the most well meaning way, what women do with their talents. We want to have a say in a woman’s behavior.

It’s a cynical way to think, but in my experience, it’s not a big step all to go from “You should try this” to “I was just trying to help” to “Wow you’re a bitch for not letting me control you.” It’s breathtaking to me sometimes how quickly and willingly people turn on you this way because of the expectation that you exist for them rather than for yourself. And it’s a very strong expectation, one you probably don’t think you have.

But it’s there when people tell me to turn off anons or say nasty things because I’m not dealing with hate the way they want me to. It’s there when people tell me who I should draw. It’s there when people say, under their breath, “I wish she wouldn’t copy photos.” “I wish you would behave according to me.” 

And we’re not shy about it, especially when we think we’re being helpful. The need to rescue (and the expectation that women need to be rescued, even if from no one else but their own inherent bad judgment or “sin”) is deeply ingrained in our society. It’s in our laws, our religion, our commerce.

Think about all the ways, even the ways you believe to be harmless or helpful or barely there, that you feel you’re allowed, entitled, or even expected to take personal sovereignty from a woman. ❤