I was curious recently about whether or not William Shakespeare had a cat. There’s no way to really know because we don’t know all that much about him, but I was sure someone had at least, you know, looked at the odds. And I was not wrong! Apparently Shakespeare mentions cats 44 times in his known works, usually referring to them negatively, at least according to the internet.
Basically he constantly talked about how terrible cats are, which has led me to conclude that Shakespeare DEFINITELY had a cat, probably like five of them.
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“Oh my god, I’m turning into—a vampire!”
“But how? I didn’t even bite you yet!”
Premature edraculation
…this fucking website.
And then there was the time Dracula tried to turn into a bat but ended up as a gecko instead. But then, a reptile dysfunction is common in older men…
Imagining Lestat pulling this one out to watch Louis cringe and grumble.
I-want-my-IWTV 