Tag Archives: vampire dad humor

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audacityinblack:

copperbadge:

jonothetonedeafsidekick:

lotrlockedwhovian:

tranxio:

“Oh my god, I’m turning into—a vampire!”

“But how? I didn’t even bite you yet!”

Premature edraculation

…this fucking website.

@copperbadge

And then there was the time Dracula tried to turn into a bat but ended up as a gecko instead. But then, a reptile dysfunction is common in older men…

@i-want-my-iwtv

Imagining Lestat pulling this one out to watch Louis cringe and grumble.

that picture of jesus you reblogged——> the vampires gasping. lestat is crying. armand is shocked. three chapters worth of description from eight different characters PoV about the image. someone compares someone else to jesus. marius comes by to remind everyone of how superior he is. hopefully mael is there and slaps him. lestat is still crying over the image. daniel wonders why he thought vampirism was a good idea. gabrielle is far from them, being badass and not a whiny bitch like her son.

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image

[X]

Marius: Lestat, did you have anything to do with-

image

Lestat: Whaaaat?! How dare you, what are you implying, honestly, Marius, not EVERY blasphemous heartbreaking work of staggering genius is my fault.

Armand: You shared the pic on your FB.

Lestat: That proves exactly nothing.

Daniel: You captioned it, “LOOK WHAT I DID”

Lestat: …

Lestat: I took the picture.

Marius: In the daylight?

Lestat: …

Lestat: Timer feature *smirks*

All: (silence)

Lestat: (silence)

Marius: We don’t believe you. Please, PLEASE stop trying to rile human beings.

Lestat: None of you have one ounce, not one droplet of fun in you. Except for Louis and David. And Gabrielle. *grins, winks* Because ME *points at himself*

David, Louis, and Gabrielle: *collectively groan*