♠ Dear Anon, 

I deeply relate to your concerns and find it as irritating as you do when my attitude is questioned in this manner. I’ve often asked it of myself, whether this melancholy “mood” is simply an element of who I am, who I always was, and not only the result of what I’ve experienced.

I see others thriving in the sunlight, metaphorically, and I have yearned, at times, to strip away my burden and join them. I have only ever done that when in a state of mortal drunkenness, and even then, I never fully took leave of my senses.

But this pervasive feeling is not truly a burden, it has its benefits. Are we more introspective than others? Possibly. More sensitive to the pulse of life in a different way than they are. Not all flowers require sunlight, some can only bloom at night. 

When curled up at home with

a good novel in my hands, only the song of the cicadas outside, and ambient lighting, that’s peace for me. I’m sure that you have similar moments. Your deepest wishes of happiness can be achieved in the simplicity of allowing yourself to enjoy the things you enjoy, and forgiving yourself for the way you are. Treat yourself as you would a very dear friend, not an enemy.