edgebug:

wal-mart: pedestrian, boring, you can do better. 2/10

target: a slightly better crying experience than wal-mart. the scent is strangely comforting, the lights however are too bright and make for a slightly unpleasant cry. there is however oftentimes a starbucks and a mini pizza hut inside for you to drown your sorrows in. 6/10, points for optimal post-cry atmosphere

an apple store: absolutely not. people cry in the apple store all the time because they cant afford the latest rose gold bullshit apple’s put out. overdone and cliche. 1/10

publix: points lost for the sterile and inhospitable environment but if you cry in a publix a gator WILL smell your tears and come to eat you. being eaten by a gator is in fact slightly preferable to crying in a publix. 6/10 for the gator

whole foods: an excellent place for a cry, people will probably assume that you are a wealthy emotional person who cant decide between quinoa or couscous and are having a real problem with it. 8.5/10

nordstrom: plenty of chairs for collapsing into especially in the shoe department but you WILL be accosted by salespeople. they work on commission and are hungry for your money. 7/10 for style

ikea: OPTIMAL crying destination, can climb into a bed and have a total mental breakdown and nobody will ever be the wiser, the employees WILL NOT bother you under any circumstances, comfortable and accessible, 10/10

hot topic: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0/10