why is kindness seen as a weakness. let me tell you about what it takes to learn how to be soft in a house that never touched you gently. how to relax from a fist into an open palm, how to be unselfish – and worse, the reverse, learning how to treat your opinions and desires as valuable and legitimate – the art of unfolding a thin piece of paper. we are torn up. but we find patches for things. let me tell you about the children i have seen grow up with parents that will never learn to accept who they are; i have seen them get over it not for the sake of the parent but instead for themselves, let me tell you about how they almost broke while they were growing up but instead learned how to grow.
it takes nothing to be cruel. it keeps you hard. it keeps you apart and you won’t care if people hate you. but kindness; the gentle whisper of a person who only knew shouting, the self-taught acceptance from those who never fit in, the sweetness of someone who couldn’t breathe for the house they grew up in – they’re stronger than you.
do you know about the people they save because they see their own injustice repeated and they will not let it win. do you know about the tiny miracles they perform, turning salvation from sin. do you know how much it takes growing up in darkness and learning to let the light in.
Can I tell you a secret? You don’t have to be in a relationship.
I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone.
But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever – and yet the friendship is the one people ignore.
I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets – they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing – not even a date – out of you?
It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning.
The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.
Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.
I-want-my-IWTV 