Dear Lestat, could you give me romance advice (since you’re very experienced with the topic)? I’m bi and I think I might like both my closest guy and girl best friends. The three of us are very close. My best girl friend knows I’m bi. She also recently told me she thinks she likes our other friend and idk how he feels about us. The three of us act a whole lot closer than just friends despite saying it’s only platonic. I really don’t know what to do. Thank you Santa Lestat. (:

♛A polyamorous relationship? *sits up, grins, rubs his hands together* Anon, if and when you successfully manage it, you tell me how to do it! I’ve been trying for years to get Louis to accept David and David to accept Louis for this very arrangement; does it not make perfect sense that if they love me separately, they should be able to love me together, at the same time, in the same bed, or wherever we are?! Why the hell not! Alas.

image

I do have some experience with threesomes – and moresomes – but only really outside the context of a relationship, and that is typically with people who don’t expect the ongoing relationship aspect. These purely physical interludes can be extremely satisfying, the extra set of hands, the extra lips… etc. Such indulgence. Like an upgrade from your bathtub to a jacuzzi with jets (Not that I don’t also love my bathtub as it is *flicks a fang*).

I won’t tell you it’s not worth trying, but I would advise you to tread carefully, especially if you’ve all called it platonic already. As in a two-person friendship that you might want to escalate into a romantic relationship, there’s the risk of losing them if the feeling isn’t mutual. How do you know when to do it in that situation? Well… every relationship, between friends or lovers, is defined by the people in it, you mutually set the expectations and limits together. 

When do you decide that you want to be closer to someone? What are the signals they give that they want that, too? Not every relationship requires physical intimacy, that’s something you mutually decide, too. 

My love life is flashing before my eyes and I can’t pick out answers to those questions *frowns* Unfairly, the best I can tell you is what’s been true for me, that you’ll know when you know, when you can’t keep your hands to yourself because you need their skin on yours, you want to feel their heartbeat with your own and you have a burning need to ask them, “Can I hold your hand?” … And you are 99% sure that they’ll say, “Yes.”

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.