take a breath, spit out the blood in your mouth, and get back up on your feet. you still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong.
you have no idea how much i needed this right now, thank you.
Tag Archives: advice
While digging through my drafts just now to clear some posts out I was reminded of my habit of seeing something stupid on Tumblr and writing a vicious text post in response to roast all the idiots and douchebags and then drafting it instead of publishing it because ultimately my blog is my own space and I have the control of the tone I set, and it’s my general goal to keep it relaxed and breezy in here. (Despite what my penchant for angst might say LOL).
Common themes include:
- That I am a Grown Ass Adult and I hate all forms of censorship.
- I don’t have children and don’t give a fuck about other people’s children. And when I say that I am generally speaking about the purity police on tunglr dot com who are worried about all the 14 year olds lurking around. And, whoops, they’re definitely not my problem.
- Making me responsible for other people’s children is a step above telling me that my only use as a biological female is to make babies.
- I especially dislike being censored and restricted for the sake of the children who do not occupy my house. (Including lists where this manifests in the Real World, outside of Tumblr, ie: rules about pot edibles, cable television, childproof drug bottles.)
- Ranting about the cognitive dissonance of people who would typically be on the SJW side of things and don’t realize how their bullshit plays exactly into real world conservatism and how that’s uhhhhhh not good lmao. (See previous point about censorships and safeguards in the Real World, often put into place by the religious right.)
- If one more person tries to re-victimize me by telling me which of my childhood experiences traumatized me and forbidding me to interact with them I s2g I’m gonna start breaking some jaws. (Which is funny considering that one of said experiences involved getting punched in the face so hard that it damaged the ligaments in my face and my jaw still clicks but that’s beside the point.)
- Not to be a dick (well, only a little) but honestly like 99% of the bullshit on this site is so ideological and nonsensical and hypothetical and doesn’t fucking happen outside in the real world and a lot of your anguish would be solved if you’d just go outside and interact with real human beings who do not live in your dashboard echochamber.
Anyway. I SAY ALL THAT TO SAY. Just imagine a day I rant and rave about any of these topics and just go fuckin wild. Just imagine. Pretend it happened.
^AGREED WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE. I also hate all forms of censorship, especially the more recent wave of censorship under the flags of “This is Problematic” and “Romanticizes/Normalizes X.”
I’ve been ramping up my defense of Dark Fiction, as you may have noticed. I’m not thrilled about it, but it’s a recent development. I do it because there was an attempt to shame me for Liking Bad Things and I felt that my silence was acceptance of this, and so, for those who may be too shy to defend their right to consume/create whatever tf they want, I want them to see that this blog is a citadel of support for fans who choose to like what they want to like and make/enjoy the fanworks they want to see in the world.
I try to promote civility in the fandom and encourage the creation and sharing of fanworks. IMO, that’s the lifeblood of the fandom. It is trampling other fans when someone demands that a fan interact a certain way on the fan’s own blog, tries to shame them for liking specific characters, or tries to get that fan to leave a fandom altogether. That, to me, is one of the worst crimes in a fandom. Attempting to crush someone’s love for a fictional character or ship is divisive and unnecessary. No, we do not need to critique or examine or do anything we don’t want to.
No one can tell you how to fandom. Please don’t let them bully you. Please don’t self-censor for them. Everyone with internet access is responsible for their own experience here, common courtesy would be tagging your posts so that they can avoid certain characters/ships/etc. If someone cannot handle your liking a fictional character, it is on them to deal with it accordingly.
There are blogs out here that are better at wording all this than I am, I highly recommend that you check them out: @fiction-is-not-reality, @freedom-of-fanfic, @shippingisnotactivism, @shipwhateveryouwant, @who-gives-a-ship, @bitteroldfandomqueen, @restoringsanity, @anti-anti-survivor, @theassholeantiarchive, @block-report-program, @yoonbum-indrag, @yourshipisfine, @history-student-against-antis, @wilting-blooming, @victim-that-speaks, @bai-xue, @educating-antis, @antipurity, @allships–are–goodships, @tirediscourse, @shippy-mcdiscourse, @shipping-isnt-morality, @antis-delete-your-blogs-pls, @frisk-against-antis, @himedanshi, @fuccdiskhorse, @just-antithings.
…possibly more in the notes on this post.
As I wrote on this post (OP: @pazithigallifreya), and it bears repeating: Please don’t feel like you have to literally ask anyone for permission to hold certain opinions. I’m happy to share my ideas, but they are only my ideas. I’m a random stranger on the internet! I love my followers, the interactions we’ve had, the messages you’ve sent me publicly and privately over the past few years have kept my blog alive, and I can’t thank you enough for that ❤
But! If I can just paraphrase from that post, Do not give some random stranger on the internet that much power over your mind! Don’t be so afraid of forming your own opinions that you have to ask someone else to give you opinions to hold!
Please do not become part of some random stranger on the internet’s rabble ready to crucify anyone who doesn’t do as they are told!
the-reylo-void presents: “Things I Wish I’d Understood as an Anti”
So as most of you know, I have a more personal connection to anti-shipping than most: for about two years, I was arguably the nastiest and most vicious anti in my fandom, so much so that I gained a certain level of infamy for it.
Starting to ship Reylo was a wakeup call the likes of which I’d never encountered before — not only did it cause me to examine my own past behavior and confront the extremely difficult revelation that I’d been the villain all along, but it also made me think about anti-shipping as a whole, and the things I wish I had understood when I was knee-deep in that mindset.
Things like:
1. People’s enjoyment of things that hurt you is not blithe mockery of your pain. It is not a personal slight. You are allowed to be hurt by something. You are not allowed to belittle, degrade, and shame others for interacting with it. You are not that important, and your pain is not a weapon.
2. The moment you commit yourself to a movement devoted to hatred, you have ceded the moral high ground. You have gone to the Dark Side. You are not fighting the good fight. You are an emotional terrorist actively attempting to break people down for disagreeing with you.
3. You also cede the right to be a victim. No one deserves to be suicide baited or doxxed, and neither do you. However, by aligning yourself with hatred, by actively harming others and laughing about it, you forfeit your right to be upset and morally outraged when you receive hate, when others comment in disagreement with your posts, when you are cast as a villain. You are not being bullied. You are receiving back just a taste of the pain you have caused others.
4. You. Are. Miserable. You really are. Happy, fulfilled people don’t marinate themselves in hatred. They don’t drink acid and spit it at others. You’re so desperate to avoid looking at yourself and so afraid of what you’ll see there that you’re directing all of that hatred outwards. You found a group of people who like something that makes you angry, and it’s so easy to attack them, to hurt them because you’ve convinced yourself that they’re “bad” somehow and they deserve it. But it’s not about them. It’s about you. It’s about all those dark things you hear at night. It’s the fear that you’re worthless. And it’s the high you get, the ego boost every time someone cheers you on for attacking the “bad” shippers. It’s the feeling that you’re so smart, you’re so popular, you’re so loved and you’re so, so right for everything you’re doing.
But those people aren’t there for you at night. They won’t be there when your world falls apart. All that’s left is you, and your misery, and the desperate need to make someone else hurt for it because you can’t handle it.
5. And most importantly: you’re wrong. You are wrong. Your thought process is wrong. Your behavior is wrong. Everything that you are doing as you torture and harm others and convince yourself that you’re morally justified IS. WRONG.
One day you’re going to realize that, and you’ll choke on it.
And if you did that a thousand times, it still wouldn’t be equal to all of the harm you caused.
And you can distract and deflect and justify all you want. In the end, all of those people who cheered you on will be gone. Your popularity will be gone. And all you’ll have is yourself, and every ounce of misery and self-hatred you tried and failed to run from, that you drilled into others, and the realization that even though you thought you were the hero of your fandom, in reality, you were the monster you were trying so hard to protect everyone from.
It’s so strange how many young people on this website there are who would probably consider themselves to be progressive/liberal but who are constantly touting very conservative, reactionary, and reductive rhetoric, who balk when they’re called out on it and react violently when anyone disagrees with it.
There are so many young people who are pro-censorship to a frightening degree, happy to shame people for not meeting their impossible and subjective standards of morality, who seem to be almost incapable of thinking critically rather than in black and white, emotionally rather than factually based terms, who consider thought-crimes worse than actual actions that people take against others, and who—quite frankly—seem like they’d be absolutely thrilled to live in an Orwellian dystopia because they’re under the ironic belief that if everyone around them is corralled and controlled and forced to live lives based on what they think is pure and wholesome and good then the world will be a perfect place.
There’s such a lack of critical thinking, unwillingness to see nuance in any argument, and just a lack of the basic human understanding that people are different from one another and that one individual experience is not the end all/be all of all experiences on this site that it’s just honestly disturbing and, in many cases, basically cult-like.
And I get that this is a positivity blog and this post might not ‘fit’ here but positivity isn’t just “uwu you’re valid” text set against a pastel pink background, it’s also encouraging people to think and to act and to live in a way that is understanding of other people, to be an open-minded observer to the world and to think critically and be willing to listen and to learn, and there are many, many people on tumblr who not only do not want to do that but who happily embrace their ignorance, their hate, and their refusal to even consider that they could ever be wrong about anything even when the facts are shoved directly under their nose and…that is seriously not a good way to live as an individual and it’s an absolutely harmful impediment to any kind of community or society that people may try to build.
If you want to do something positive in your life and the lives of others and you take any piece of advice from this blog then take this: listen more and talk less, think before you react, try to understand other people and where they’re coming from even in cases where you feel like you’d rather bash your head against the wall than put yourself in their shoes, and try your absolute hardest to unlearn your black and white/all good or all evil thinking (or at least learn how to recognize it and think past it) because I promise you that it’s going to be complete poison to every single aspect of your life if you don’t.
And more than anything don’t be so utterly obsessed with yourself and your opinions and your own certainty that you’re right that you’re unable to ever listen to anyone else or even consider that you might be wrong. Everyone is wrong about something, is ignorant about someone, is an asshole at some time of the day, and you’ve absolutely fucked up the second you think you’re an exception to that.
preparing for reading this fic like it’s a romantic evening in, I’m making a special meal in the actual oven and I’m gonna wear my favourite outfit (my pyjamas) and dim the lights and put on music I might even pour a glass of wine
someone’s getting laid this evening and it’s my favourite fictional character
If a guy ever spreads a rumor that he slept with you, don’t deny it. One, because there will always be people who think it’s true, and two, because that dumbass boy just handed you the power to say anything you want about what he’s like in bed, and people will believe it. Say he bleats like a sheep when he orgasms. Say he put on pearl earrings and asked you to call him Daisy. Say he couldn’t get it up until he watched an old Billy Mays infomercial. The power is yours.
This is my new favorite post
I-want-my-IWTV 