Fuck Lestat, marry Louis, have Armand officiate our wedding, Lestat would kill me out of jealousy!
It would be a great fuck, then a gorgeous ceremony, totes worth it all!
Ok let’s play fuck marry kill with: Lestat, Louis, Armand
Tag Archives: fmk
♛Got a barrage of questions that are so similar in tone and landed in such succession that they are probably from the same gray face. My inbox reminded me somewhat of the rabble under Les Innocents, but the vampires of that filthy cemetery had a little more respect with their choice of questions, as you’ll see.
He says he’s chilled most of the time. Cold isn’t supposed to affect vampires, and yet here we are. It’s probably more psychosomatic than real cold, he usually complains of it more when I start scheming.
No, turtlenecks were a hideous invention. Even the word for them is unappealing. And I like turtles! Just… not their necks, particularly.
Ask @the-talamasca. They probably have more than one, as they have various operations.
No, I prefer it hot and fresh from the writhing source. Blood doesn’t microwave very well, either.
Just the fabulous butt I was born to darkness with! I had done some acrobatics during my time at the theatre.
That’s nasty, and you must think I’m nasty to suggest such a thing to me. *waves it off*
That’s… should I be flattered? I’m sure there’s plenty of porn out there for you.
I’ve taken him around on my motorcycles, and we’ve had intimacy just about anywhere you can imagine. Why are you calling it “humping” now? Lame, as they say. Humping implies a time-consuming, arduous, unsuccessful effort. Banging, fucking, ravishing, these are better words that apply to people who actually have sex, unlike you.
I’ve already technically killed Louis, when I turned him, so that’s done. Fuck Armand because he’s probably got some amazing techniques. Marry Marius because I think we’d look good in the wedding pictures.
FMK Armand, Marius, Bianca
This is hard bc tbh I don’t pine for any of the three but OK HERE WE GO:
I can’t marry Bianca because I am a straight lady myself. I don’t think Marius or Armand would fuck or marry me if I killed one of them so… I’m forced into this first choice :-
Kill: Bianca- c’est dommage 😦 But I just don’t want to marry or fuck her so consider it a mercy killing. I would take no pleasure in it whatsoever, but I would have to set it up that I killed her in self-defense, which would be the only acceptable reason to do it, bc I wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret from powerful Mindly Gifted Marius and Armand who would definitely not Fuck or Marry me if they found out about a cold-blooded murder of their dearest Bianca!
Marry: Marius- choosing between him and Armand, overall I’d say Marius is more stable, he’s had long-term relationship experience with women and especially the alpha-personalities-clashing thing which would definitely happen between us. Plus “Burnadette de Romanus” would look great on paper.
Fuck: Armand- I wouldn’t marry Armand because I wouldn’t want him to get too relaxed and stop trying to impress/please me sexually, as sometimes happens in marriages. He’s probably a better lover than Marius, so he’d be my Mister (y’know? Like the way men have ‘mistresses’? Like that!). We’d keep it a secret from Marius bc I feel like canon!Armand would prefer it that way.
The other reason I picked Armand for Fucking privileges is because he knows how to party better than Marius, and I don’t need to prove that by sharing examples bc that’s just CANON.
FMK Akasha, Lestat, Louis
This is tough. It looks easy! Kill Akasha! But if we respect canon, that would kill Louis and Lestat, so we can’t do it that way, at least not immediately.
Kill: Akasha- because I don’t want to marry or fuck her, like eww, but first, I’d have to arrange someone to take over as Queen of the Damned. Including canon? Just wait for it to happen! Setting aside canon? I wouldn’t have nominated Lestat for this. I’d rather do it myself. I’ll be Queen of the Damned.
Now that leaves marriage and fucking! Don’t you also get to fuck who you marry? It’s not guaranteed but it’s usually part of the deal >;} But L/L is my OTP! I can’t break them up over me. Selfishly, I want them both. I’d try to arrange an OT3: Lestat/Louis/Mary Sue me.
Marry: Louis- on paper I can only marry one of them, and we all know Lestat can’t monogamy. Louis and I would probably coexist more like brother and sister when Lestat was off adventuring, but if we were both willing to go for something more, I wouldn’t kick him out of Lestat’s my bed ❤
Fuck: Lestat- because, as I mentioned last time around, he’s very talented. If I was a vampire, too, I’d have the stamina enough to keep up and maybe even impress him *evil grin*
They have been known to share in the past, maybe a 3rd wheel is just what they need to keep them together… I would definitely love to be the meat in an L/L sandwich (or any other flexible arrangement they would want *drool*)
yes, yes I meant that! OMG here I go: FMK, Luis, Lestat, Gabrielle :3
Well you’ve left me a convenient little loophole in your misspelling! Who is this “Luis?” I don’t know him, hopefully he’s an evildoer… bc I have to throw one of them under the bus.
Kill: Luis! Bc you misspelled his name I can pretend it’s someone else entirely bwahahahaa…. (If this were our actual beloved Louis, perfect-cinnamon-roll-too-good-for-this-world, I don’t think I could kill him, I doubt Lestat would want to fuck OR marry me after doing that. If you really insist it’s OUR LOUIS, I’ll have to revise all my answers.)
Fuck: Lestat, bc of reasons, no, really, bc he must be super talented in the bedroom (or the kitchen, or the alleyway, or the floor, wherever there’s a good solid surface really). I probably couldn’t keep up the kind of energy requirement he would need tho. He’s studied the Kama Sutra. He’d probably end up killing me… exhaustion-related death… Death by ecstasy? The French call the orgasm ‘La petite mort”; “the Little Death.” I imagine this would be like the Big Death *swoons*
Marry: Gabrielle. Honestly she seems like a good roommate (when she is around), we’d probably share similar taste in literature and such, she’s taller than me but we might be able to share some wardrobe staples. I like that it could sometimes be a long-distance marriage, she can go off exploring and I’ll hold down the fort. I’m sure the marriage would be an open one, platonic between us since I am a straight gal, and considering I’d fucked her son. She doesn’t want his leftovers 😛 even as excellent as this leftover would be if this leftover survived it ;D
Would you like to play a game called FMK? it would be pretty funny! :3
♛
Do you mean Fuck/Marry/Kill? Hit me, avocat gris.
I-want-my-IWTV 