one thing me n my art loving gf would do is visit galleries and play a game called “root, loot or boot”
the gist is that you would look at a group of paintings in a room and decide which figure in the painting you’d root (fuck, in Australian slang), which painting you’d loot (steal and put on your wall at home) and which painting you’d boot (punt into the garbage because it’s shit and Not Art)
a couple of things about my experiences:
1. this game is a lot more fun if you’re attracted to women because there’s so many Hot Gals to choose from
2. if you are attracted to men, you will spend a lot of time going “well, looks like I’ll have to pick jesus again” as my bi gf did
3. it gets more complicated in modern art museums and you find yourself having saying, “I’d fuck the rhombus” “you CAN’T fuck the rhombus” “then I’ll fuck that blue squiggle thing. what’s it called?” “creeping existential dread in blue” “then does that mean I’m fucking the squiggle or am I getting fucked by the existential dread it represents?” “aren’t we all already getting fucked by existential dread?”
4. if you play this with an art history nerd, they may decide to kill you over one of your “boot” choices
5. you will get Disapproving Looks from other patrons who overhear your heated debates
6. it’s also the best fun you’ll ever have in an art gallery
Tag Archives: penfairy
I always used to roll my eyes at people stanning villains and falling in love with them and saying “they’re just misunderstood! they just need love!”
but then guillermo del toro gave me Lucille Sharpe from Crimson Peak, whose name means light but who was locked away in darkness for so long that she was twisted into a monster
who suffered horrendous abuse as a child and as a teenager, caged at home and then in an institution where she was further neglected and assaulted
who clung obsessively to the only source of love she ever knew, her one comfort, which she ended up hurting, confining and killing in her selfish, yet understandable, need to keep it close
who is constantly stitched into rigid and painful clothing
who could not escape her demons, even in death
whom jessica chastain described as being like an abused animal that desperately wants to be touched and loved, but which will bite the instant it is touched
who has committed horrendous, unforgivable crimes, but who is still, at her core, an abused child
who might have been good, once, but who underwent a terrible metamorphosis and hatched out of her cocoon as a carnivorous black moth instead of a butterfly
who will, for eternity, remain that monster, because there is no undoing such a transformation fed by pain, misery and mistreatment
and I went
fuck
anyway good job on the sympathetic villain guillermo she wrecks me every time and I just want to hold her and love her and write meta and 1000 crappy redemption fics for her I hope you’re happy
I-want-my-IWTV 