Ships aren’t food, they’re not exercise, they’re not even a nonfiction book or a classic novel. A steady diet of LGBT+ ships with no age or power gap won’t make you emotionally or mentally any healthier. It won’t teach you about how actual relationships work and it won’t prevent you from getting into an unhealthy relationship.
Unhealthy ships won’t ruin you. They won’t corrupt you, they won’t destroy your understanding of actual healthy relationships or erode your morality.
Your fictional diet isn’t your actual diet. There’s no organic vegan gluten-free ship that will fix a single goddamn thing.
Relax. Enjoy yourself. Read whatever fiction fascinates you, tantalizes you, engages you. The content doesn’t matter much for your health, but the joy it brings you might.
slam that reblog button if you’re a dirty nasty gross multishipper, or just a reasonable person that believes that harassing people over ships is for losers
…well, that escalated quickly. I posted it way back at the end of 2014, it got reblogged by several BNFs in quick succession yesterday, and then it proceeded to rack up like 2,000 notes in one day, so apparently it still needs to be said:
Yes, you are allowed.
You are allowed to write the fic you want, rather than the fic you feel obligated to write. You’re allowed to write crack, crazy realism-defying stunts, self-indulgent trope fic, fucked-up fic about problematic people doing unhealthy things. Fic that doesn’t go through the pre-flight safety check for every swordfight and every BDSM scene, fic that glosses over the ugly real-life fallout of psychological trauma and/or jumping out of a quinjet without a parachute. Or, hey, if that’s your thing, fic that dwells on psychological trauma in loving, messy detail and has at least three punchlines about characters not being able to defy the laws of physics. Any of those things! All those things! We contain multitudes!
Any fic you write is probably going to be a net positive for fandom. The people who were looking for something in your niche get it, the people who didn’t know they wanted something in your niche discover a new thing they like, the people who don’t like it click the back button, the people who really really hate that entire genre of fic get to stroke their hateboners and get high off their own self-righteousness.
If it upsets people? The back button is a failsafe and instantaneous safeword. If it’s not as ~quality~ as other people’s fic? Don’t make me break out that “holy shit! TWO cakes!” comic. If someone takes away a disturbing, unhealthy, or otherwise less-than-wholesome message from your fic? You are not responsible for their failures of critical thinking or reading comprehension, to say nothing of those reading with outright malice looking for something to pounce on after interpreting it as uncharitably as humanly possible. Jesus fucking christ, it’s fanfiction, if people legit want sex ed they should be on Scarleteen. It’s not your job to educate them, certainly not with your fic. It’s not. It’s not. Fic serves so many other purposes. You are allowed to write what you want.
If you are a writer, read this.
You are a creator. Your voice is unique and beautiful and flawed and human and inherently precious. You do not define yourself in opposition. You do not seek to validate your existence by silencing other voices. You create. You add value to the sphere of existence by sheer force of will and your own efforts. Ignore the bullshit from psychotic antis who hate pretty much everything about human beings (especially sex, hoo boy). Ignore the squawking rabble of vicious little demons whose only satisfaction comes from trying to crush everything they see into the same ugly, grey, joyless conformity, and just write. Do it.
me: destroy cringe culture. it’s mean-spirited to dismiss someone’s harmless interests as “cancerous” or “cringe-y”. don’t shit on people just to feel better about yourself.
inevitably, some dingdong: ummmmmm but criticism? is necessary for artists to get better?? 🙂 however will they grow if i don’t personally shame them?? it’s freedom of speech sweetie 🙂 grow a thicker skin :))
It usually has a lot to do with liking the characters and thinking that despite anything or everything they would be good together. Sometimes it could be because of character design and aesthetic for ships like Jelsa.
They don’t exist in the same universe but there is something appealing about these two meeting and making a connection based on their individual personalities and their experiences.
Then there are ships where people literally just want the characters to fuck or use them for a kink. When I think about a ship that seems to be mostly about kink then I usually think about a ship like Kylux for example.
It’s a lot of hate fucking from what I’ve seen which is fine, Do you and yes I could be misinterpreting why people ship this but based on the art it feels very smut fueled. Kink ships are fine because it’s a safe exploration of your sexuality without involving yourself or any real people. It’s honestly the safest place in the world because you can always walk away.
Then some ships are about the relationship they could have or already have. Think something some established in canon and just taking it to a more romantic angle. Think the really good friends trope that evolves into something more. Think characters that would take very little to picture them dating.
Usually I think a series like Free! Because these two just have such a good relationship it doesn’t take any stretch of the imagination to picture them dating. Hell even Sheith fits this trope because they do have an amazing relationship and it really wouldn’t be difficult to imagine. Honestly I doubt Sheith shippers even considered the age gap until antis brought it up. I always thought Shiro looked 21 and Keith looks 18/19 and honestly because it’s fiction it doesn’t matter what the writers say. You can make them mer people and take them out of space because fiction has no limits.
Shipping is and always has been about the possibility of what the relationship could be like. For example Reylo is a ship about the possibility, How would Rey and Kylo look if he had switched sides and joined the resistance? What would have changed had Rey become the Dark Queen. Could these broken characters heal each other? Reylo has posed questions since it’s inception in Force Awakens.
Reylo shippers seem to enjoy a bit of drama and they like those what ifs. Some people just like to imagine every possibility for characters that are so opposite and yet so similar. The enemies to lovers ship is popular because it’s interesting as hell and again fiction is the safest place to explore that.
Then you have shippers who ship because they like a sweet love story. Team Fluff if you will and they sometimes chill with the friendship shippers. These characters care about each other in canon and they would without a doubt have a good relationship that maybe people should want for themselves. I’d say FinnRey fits that boat perfectly because they would without a doubt have a good relationship.
There could be some drama and comedy but it’s fairly straight forward. Some people even like these ships for the self insert aspect of it. Rey for as much as I love her tends to become a voice box for the fans at times and honestly she was written as a Star Wars fan so it makes sense that it’s easy to project yourself into a character already kinda like yourself.
Shipping honestly is supposed to be fun. A lot of people multi ship and for each ship they have it usually just comes down to them liking the characters. Very few people go looking for age gaps or any of that “problematic” shit antis are screaming about. They mostly just ship because they like the characters. Usually the age and even the canon relationship is incidental. That’s why we have fanfiction. Say those characters are related but what if they weren’t? What if Finn stayed a stormtrooper and met Rey in the interrogation room? What if they were dating? What would that look like?
The idea of policing probably the most harmless thing online is strange to me. Why would anyone care if that person likes these characters together? A lot of the time it’s really not that deep. The 20 year olds on this site still shipping teenagers don’t have any insidious desire to fuck teens. They probably have been shipping since they were teens and happen to like the characters.
Any way this was my long ass post on why I think people ship. Feel free to add to it and say why you ship.
them: why do you have so many gay ships?
me: because the female characters are so poorly and/or problematically written, because there sometimes aren’t any female characters at all, and because while female emotional fluency is seen as an expected norm, society has taught me to romanticize male emotional fluency as exceptional and special and rare. now pls leave me alone so that I can live in my imaginary world where men actually talk about feelings
Hey, everyone! Today, we’re going to be talking about feeling shame and guilt in fandom.
A few quick points:
No, actually, you don’t have to hide liking certain ships from your friends. You can if you want, but that feeling of guilt and shame that you feel when someone mocks something you like, or worse, calls it problematic, isn’t something that you have to feel. You don’t have to break things off with your current friends, but please know that you CAN find friends that won’t judge you for liking things they don’t.
We all ship ships because we read fics/metas/hcs for those ships and see reflections of what we need, want, crave, envy, hate, and fear at that moment in our lives. Celebrate your connection to that ship! Celebrate your connection to others who ship the same things! When you find fellow shippers, you’ve found so many other people who might also be going through a lot of similar things as you in their lives right now. That’s rare, out there in the real world! And it’s actually one of the coolest things about fandom.
The same goes for kinks. You don’t owe it to anyone to feel bad, guilty, ashamed, mortified, or self-conscious about your kinks. YES, you shouldn’t rub your kinks in the faces of people who are uncomfortable with them bc that’s a matter of mutual respect, but if someone makes you feel like you’re not allowed to post or talk about it in your own space (your blog), that’s not healthy. It’s unfair to you.
I understand wanting to hide certain things about yourself (liking Sheith, liking noncon, etc.) because you’re afraid of retaliation from antis. Yup. They’re unpredictable and scary little buggers. And controlling your happiness through feelings of fear and shame is every bit a part of their plan. But please remember that antis’ intimidating behavior says everything about the sort of people they are. It doesn’t mean their victims are bad people who deserve vitriol and punishment. If you’ve had scary interactions with them, you’re not a bad person, and I’m sorry you were made to feel that way. If you don’t want to attract their ire, I understand. But that doesn’t mean that the fandom content you like has to become “guilty pleasures” that you’re ashamed for even when you’re indulging in it privately. Resist treating your heart the way an anti would treat your heart.
Life is short. Indulge in what you like. Avoid what you don’t like. Listen to outside opinions when you want to learn and grow, and close yourself off when those opinions are trying to hurt you. There’s obviously more shades of grey to everything than just that, but you’re not hurting anyone by liking the ships you like, reading the fics you read, and making your blog a space that’s perfectly tailored to your happiness.
I think that’s all I have for now. I hope you’re having a good day. 🙂
I-want-my-IWTV 