l-e-s-t-a-t:

sootonthecarpet:

old vampires with really outdated medical knowledge trying to help their sick human friends
‘i’m sick, robert’
‘aww, what’s wrong dave’
‘i have a cold’
‘oh u poor thing u must have imbalanced humors’
‘uh robert’
‘let me get u some comfort food and leeches’
‘robert it’s just a head cold’
‘do u need me to bleed u dave because i promise i will maintain my professionalism’
‘ROBERT IT’S A FUCKING HEAD COLD’
‘shh modern science is a marvel u’ll feel much better after some heroin’
‘GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD IN THE GAME ROBERT’

‘i’m sick, armand’
‘aww, what’s wrong daniel’
‘i have a cold’
‘oh u poor thing u must need the blender’s medicine’
‘uh armand’
‘let me get u some fiber in ur diet that’ll help -throws socks and rats in blender-’
‘armand it’s just a head cold’
‘do u need me to bleed u daniel because i promise i will maintain my professionalism’
‘ARMAND IT’S A FUCKING HEAD COLD’
‘shh modern science is a marvel u’ll feel much better after a smoothie with my blood in it’
‘GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD IN THE GAME ARMAND’

*cries* omg u people… XD