More stuff about when I was a kid. When I was around 6, I would often go to hospitals with a relative of mine who worked in the medical field, and I’d be left in the waiting room while they worked. I was happy with this bc I’d get copy paper from the nurses and draw pictures with highlighters and whatever was around, and pass out these drawings to the people in the waiting room, and I did it because I wanted to bring a little cheer to them. People are anxious when visiting the doctor, they’re worried that there’s something wrong with them and it will be upsetting to find out, or that the thing that is wrong with them isn’t getting better and they’re about to be told that, and it’s going to hurt. It’s usually an unnaturally brightly lit place, it’s usually pretty sparse. People are afraid of surgical tools, needles, (the scale!), there’s prodding and the personal questions, sometimes there are people suffering within eyesight/earshot. It’s not a fun place, typically. 

But to have some 6 yr old hand you a drawing of a cartoon character, even if it’s not drawn very well, it’s touching. I don’t think anyone ever rejected my drawings or acted rudely to me, or if they did, I just moved on and went about my business and made more drawings for other people. For the most part, I remember people being glad, and their sadness being alleviated for at least that little interaction when I handed them a drawing I’d made just for them, to keep. I didn’t care if they threw those drawings away or saved them. 

So I think that’s what I’m still doing when I make art or write stories, even if it’s not good art, even if it’s progressed to scary stories, not all fluff and sparkles. An escape from reality for just a little while. I’ve seen art and read fic that’s done that for me in a powerful way and I couldn’t be more grateful to those who make fanworks for giving me that little break from reality. 

I think this is why I’m so supportive of people who make fanworks. If the fanwork is not to my taste, I don’t say so, I don’t critique unless asked by the original creator to do so, there’s plenty more art and fic out in the world and I’ve found it, plenty of it that I personally like and share with others so that they can enjoy it, too, and I don’t expect anything to conform to my own personal ideals of what it should be.

If I was handed a drawing from a 6 yr old, grinning up at me and hoping I liked it, I could never see it as anything but a gift. 

And thinking about all that now, that relative was helping the patients medically, and I wanted to be like that, with the skills I had to offer. I wanted to help people.