vampiredevelopment:

G.O.B.: Ah, she wants to talk to you. Got it.
G.O.B.: For some reason, women feel safe around you. Maybe because you’ve only had sex four times.
Michael: Four women, not four times
Episode 1×12 “Marta Complex”

#does anyone else remember that part in iwtv where claudia asks louis what sex is like #and he gets all huffy and is like GOOD NIGHT MADAME #i think he literally says that #and it’s like one of my favorite parts because louis is being insufferable and endearing at the same time #which is pretty much his main skill

Yes! It went like this:

“`It was something hurried, […] and … it was seldom savored … something acute that was quickly lost. I think that it was the pale shadow of killing.’
” ‘Ahhh …’ she said. `Like hurting you as I do now … that is also the pale shadow of killing.’
” ‘Yes, madam,’ I said to her. `I am inclined to believe that is correct.’
And bowing swiftly, I bade her good-night. “

vampiredevelopment:

Michael: Did I just wake you up? I didn’t even know
you were home.

Lindsay: No, Michael, I don’t just sleep all day.

Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael
that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry
nap.

Episode 1×07 “In God We Trust”

Gallery

Gob: And guess what else … Dad kissed me!
Michael: How? He looked pretty unconscious in that picture.
Gob: I didn’t say he was totally into it!

Episode 2×18 “The Righteous Brothers”  

For vampiredevelopment

vampiredevelopment:

Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.
Michael: Really? When did that start?
Tobias: Well, I don’t want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn’t help.
Episode 1×19 “Best Man for the GOB”

He said the same thing about Nicki and the French Revolution.

HahahahodeerlawdSTAHPstop mah face hurts!!!  

vampchronfic:

vampiredevelopment:

Michael: Boy, the lengths you’ll go to sleep with a woman.
Gob: Believe me, we didn’t do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn’t.
Gob: Yes, I did.
Episode 1×17 “Altar Egos”

Lestat sleeps with women but I changed it to man because fuck heteronormativity plus it fits better on the page.

Homoerotiwreck

vampiredevelopment:

Kitty: Do you like my outfit?

Gob: Not as much as I like what’s underneath it.

Kitty: Gob!

Gob: No, I need your chair. Get up.

Episode 1×05 “Visiting Ours”

I can feel weird spending so much time staring at Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise’s faces, but then I do a QotD meme and I’m ready to run back to the IwtV movie. It’s not that Stuart Townsend isn’t hot, it’s that he’s blatantly not blonde.

Never feel weird about staring at the wildly more correct faces of the IWTV cast ;]