♛Who might that be?

Is it the Dread Pirate Roberts? He is very special and very hard to find.

I can’t read your thoughts through the screen, ma petite… 

[X by @fetch-me-a-block]

If you mean yours truly, well… I hate to deny very good girls the very best gifts, but I am also an impulsive bastard who hates scheduling things, being expected at a certain time. 

…This is why I need to go on tour again, so I can “visit” with a stadium full of people who love me, and point at them from just off-stage and glare at Louis, “See how much they love me? They’re chanting my name! They’re starving for me! Why can’t you be more like THEM?”