♛Got a barrage of questions that are so similar in tone and landed in such succession that they are probably from the same gray face. My inbox reminded me somewhat of the rabble under Les Innocents, but the vampires of that filthy cemetery had a little more respect with their choice of questions, as you’ll see.

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He says he’s chilled most of the time. Cold isn’t supposed to affect vampires, and yet here we are. It’s probably more psychosomatic than real cold, he usually complains of it more when I start scheming.


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No, turtlenecks were a hideous invention. Even the word for them is unappealing. And I like turtles! Just… not their necks, particularly.

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Ask @the-talamasca. They probably have more than one, as they have various operations.

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No, I prefer it hot and fresh from the writhing source. Blood doesn’t microwave very well, either.

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Just the fabulous butt I was born to darkness with! I had done some acrobatics during my time at the theatre. 

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That’s nasty, and you must think I’m nasty to suggest such a thing to me. *waves it off*

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That’s… should I be flattered? I’m sure there’s plenty of porn out there for you. 

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I’ve taken him around on my motorcycles, and we’ve had intimacy just about anywhere you can imagine. Why are you calling it “humping” now? Lame, as they say. Humping implies a time-consuming, arduous, unsuccessful effort. Banging, fucking, ravishing, these are better words that apply to people who actually have sex, unlike you. 

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I’ve already technically killed Louis, when I turned him, so that’s done. Fuck Armand because he’s probably got some amazing techniques. Marry Marius because I think we’d look good in the wedding pictures.

Do you love Louis?

♛Do I give off the impression that I don’t?

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Normally this would offend me but you caught me in a more or less contemplative mood. Lucky for you. 

– Hold on. It does offend me. 

Yes, I love Louis. I fucking adore him. I worship him. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I have also: despised him, wanted to scream at him until his hands rise up to hide his tears, wanted to beat him to a quivering bloody pulp. Satisfied? 

Obviously there was life, well, existence, before Louis. I functioned. I loved. As you probably know already, when I found him, he was trying desperately to drown himself, trying to weaken himself physically, so that someone could more easily take his life… his soul spoke to me before he even saw me, he simply couldn’t kill himself, his passion for life matched my own. I was captivated. He still captivates me.

The fact that we’ve found peace in each other’s arms for so many years is all the more valuable considering the battles we’ve fought against others, time, the world, and (really, most importantly) each other. We still fight – with words mostly now, and it can be vicious. But underneath it all is an undeniable need for each other (not only physical) that overrides… well… everything else.

I think in the last analysis, his happiness is my happiness, and vice versa. 

If you had to wear glasses, lestat, what would they look like? Pictures?

♛Actually, I do wear glasses from time to time, gives me an intellectual air. It also gives me something to fuss with during tense moments in therapy with Louis so that I don’t wring his pretty little neck. Which, justified or not, still tends to weaken my position. 

I assume your question means aside from sunglasses, of course. Which you know about already, my preference for violet-tinted. I highly recommend it. Everything I look at is washed over with a dreamy lens. Je vois la vie en rose, so to speak. Improves one’s mood immensely. 

The only glasses that look terrible on my face shape are the iconic circular ones popularized by John Lennon.

Ah well, can’t have it all. *sighs*

I also don’t like this modern frame-less look, at least for men. It lacks the warmth of the human touch of frame design and craftsmanship. 

I favor glasses that flatter my bone structure, generally wide but not too rectangular, to enhance my cheekbones. Large lenses are necessary to balance the strong jawline and my voluminous hair, but I like a casual material for the frames like tortoise-shell or black plastic.

When the fabric you’re wearing is Serious (like velvet or leather), accessories should be more relaxed.


Fairly certain these are tortoise-shell Ray-Bans, the icing on the slice of cake that is this male model:

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This Aaron Tveit has good taste (and looks like he tastes good, too…) 

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Here’s Josh Hutcherson, who I’m enjoying more and more the more I see of him:

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Justin Timberlake, the reigning “Prince of Pop,” oui? We could make such beautiful music together… Would love to raid his closet. With him present. As he tries to defend it. Mmmmmm…

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What sounds better to you? Being stuffed into a bag and forced on a very -ahem- romantic date with Armand. OR. Spending the night licking the inside of Louis’s ear. You cant pick neither, because that’s no fun

♛I’ve spent nights licking every inch of Louis, much to his (sometimes) initial resistance and gradual pleasure. Licking the inside of his ear for hours? Well it would start bleeding quickly, our tongues are rougher than mortals’.  

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Can I switch ears occasionally? Does it have to be the one ear? This would really be an exercise in torture for Louis, I’d be pretty happy to do it. You should ask him if he’s willing. Then again, considering how much he likes it, maybe YOU are Louis writing to moi anonymously? Hm?

Are both situations inside a bag, or just beginning with it? Burlap, I hope, even though it chafes, because plastic would tear immediately. Where’s the fun in that? 

Or…. "a very romantic date with Armand"? Did he agree to this option? Romance is a two-way street, you know, I can’t do all the heavy action if he’s going to be a limp fish.

Your specifics are lacking, tortionnaire anonyme.

((Okay so ordinarily I’m about as sexually charged as a pair of Crocs but that was excellent))

//Yeah these are fun!

//…Wait wait – “as sexually charged as a pair of Crocs”? So not only NOT sexually charged*, but sexually repulsive to others as well? oh gawd!

//*Not that a person’s default level needs to be sexual at all. Or that someone needs to be at all sexually attractive to anyone. This blog is demiromantic-, aromantic- and asexual-friendly, too ;]

Has it ever occurred to you that people want to submit you just to shut you up, rather than thinking it particularly erotic?

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♛My silence can be terrifying, in its stark contrast to my usual loquacious nature. People worry what I’m thinking.

Don’t forget the Mind Gift, visage gris, while not as talented as Armand at it – yet -, I can still communicate loudly without the use of my mouth.

(//Louis finds his silence intensely erotic, making him speak with actions rather than words.)

Oh baby, you know all the restraints i’d love to use on you. But what about leather? Or chains?

♛Leather?! LMAO as they say. The only leather I won’t destroy is my leather designer clothes. Unless they get bloodstained or torn in the course of my… evening activities. Which happens, eventually, to most of my wardrobe. Blood is the worst enemy of fashion, truly, and I happen to come into contact with mine and others’ VERY often. But I digress… 

Chains! Do you have the slightest clue as to how strong I am? You’re obviously not Talamasca. Our kind had to invent chains that I couldn’t break. Which, currently, wouldn’t hold me.

Try again.

Such a fascinating specimen. But how to capture you for study? You’re a difficult one.

♛I am fascinating. You’re a perceptive one, aren’t you? *grins*

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Why the need for such ownership, why not join the growing audience who enjoy me in my natural habitat?

Oh, I see, you prefer to stroke one out to fantasies of my submission. You want to see me on my knees, stripped of my glamour, bawling and begging to be fed, to be released? *clutches pearls* What an imagination! Do tell, what kind of restraints would you try? Since we’re fantasizing here.

What if you bite me and keep me with you for all the eternity?

♛Satisfaction is not guaranteed, ma petite. In every sense of the phrase.

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You do know that there’s more involved than simply a bite? I have to actually kill you first. It’s extremely erotic, but extremely painful. I have to actually forcibly pull your life away entirely – and you’ll fight me through it if you want to survive – and then feed a demon, a kind of cancer, into your body and soul. We still don’t know if it’s contamination or evolution. And it doesn’t always work.

There are worse things than death.

Every time the Dark Gift is given, a soul might be condemned for eternity. Some might say anyone I “keep with me” is condemned to the torment of my presence, or the desperation for me in my absence. Admittedly, monogamy has never been a strong suit for me. Not everyone is “tall enough to ride this ride,” if you get my meaning.

Reconsider your request.