razielim:

Hey, everyone! Today, we’re going to be talking about feeling shame and guilt in fandom. 

A few quick points:

1. No, actually, you don’t have to hide liking certain ships from your friends. You can if you want, but that feeling of guilt and shame that you feel when someone mocks something you like, or worse, calls it problematic, isn’t something that you have to feel. You don’t have to break things off with your current friends, but please know that you CAN find friends that won’t judge you for liking things they don’t. 
2. We all ship ships because we read fics/metas/hcs for those ships and see reflections of what we need, want, crave, envy, hate, and fear at that moment in our lives. Celebrate your connection to that ship! Celebrate your connection to others who ship the same things! When you find fellow shippers, you’ve found so many other people who might also be going through a lot of similar things as you in their lives right now. That’s rare, out there in the real world! And it’s actually one of the coolest things about fandom.
3. The same goes for kinks. You don’t owe it to anyone to feel bad, guilty, ashamed, mortified, or self-conscious about your kinks. YES, you shouldn’t rub your kinks in the faces of people who are uncomfortable with them bc that’s a matter of mutual respect, but if someone makes you feel like you’re not allowed to post or talk about it in your own space (your blog), that’s not healthy. It’s unfair to you.
4. I understand wanting to hide certain things about yourself (liking Sheith, liking noncon, etc.) because you’re afraid of retaliation from antis. Yup. They’re unpredictable and scary little buggers. And controlling your happiness through feelings of fear and shame is every bit a part of their plan. But please remember that antis’ intimidating behavior says everything about the sort of people they are. It doesn’t mean their victims are bad people who deserve vitriol and punishment. If you’ve had scary interactions with them, you’re not a bad person, and I’m sorry you were made to feel that way. If you don’t want to attract their ire, I understand. But that doesn’t mean that the fandom content you like has to become “guilty pleasures” that you’re ashamed for even when you’re indulging in it privately. Resist treating your heart the way an anti would treat your heart.
5. Life is short. Indulge in what you like. Avoid what you don’t like. Listen to outside opinions when you want to learn and grow, and close yourself off when those opinions are trying to hurt you. There’s obviously more shades of grey to everything than just that, but you’re not hurting anyone by liking the ships you like, reading the fics you read, and making your blog a space that’s perfectly tailored to your happiness.

I think that’s all I have for now. I hope you’re having a good day. 🙂