i am immensely proud of anyone who types out stories they want to see for characters that are not their creation, or their property, but that inspire them to delve into a difficult medium with which they likely have little experience or comfort. i have to be proud of that because fanfic is ultimately a thankless line of work. and it is work. it’s work for people who’re good at writing, trained in it. so imagine how difficult it is for beginners, the impaired, those with even a modicum of self-doubt? in that way, they are no different from any other author.
writing, literature, is an art form with an ugly legacy of snobbery. academics and laymen alike still argue about what sorts of writing should and should not be considered ‘canonical.’ add to that odious environment the level of disdain, apathy, or ignorance most non-fannish people have toward fan works and you have a near-permanent, repugnant shroud of You’re Not Real encompassing the whole endeavor. a shroud under which, miraculously, fan works are still produced with vigor and regularity, and largely without access to agents or editors who’re paid to polish. just as miraculously, these writers often receive, from their friends and peers and strangers, the sort of praise one associates with bestselling authors.
it’s miraculous because fanfic writers have been obliged to believe, from the moment they set finger to keyboard, that what they are doing is a sideshow. at best, they are hobbyists with some talent but no real standing. at worst, they are self-indulgent amateurs, muddying the waters of a true craft. like many authors of original work, fanfic writers will never have a millisecond of calculable fame for their efforts. they may step out of their borrowed sandbox and create original work, or they may not, but there is no scenario in which they emerge feeling like an accepted member of a celebrated tradition. even in the rare instance of pop culture turning its eye on some speck of scintillating fan work, it’s still mocked. it’s still a sideshow, just with a brighter spotlight.
so, yeah, i am proud of anyone who can absorb the reality of all the above…and still write.
for all my brave creatives out there – tappity-tap-tap!
Samwise Gamgee and I want to send love to anyone who is struggling tonight. I know there’s a lot of people scared and hurting about the US Presidential elections.
For everyone literally getting sick with anxiety here are some things you CAN do to feel better in the light of so much overwhelming can’t. These are not cures for actual clinical anxiety, which should be managed with help from a mental health profesional—these are just some small, everyday things I personally do as someone who deals with OCD and stomach issues every day:
Sip water or tea. Chamomile and lemon balm are good.
Eat simple foods that are easy on your stomach. My favorite is sugar free Jello. Comfort yourself the way you would when you are actually sick—your body doesn’t know the difference.
Eat foods that are rich in folate, which helps your body produce neurotransmitters like serotonin. Blueberries, kale, and dark chocolate are good for this. So is plan old-fashioned sunshine.
Snuggle your pets. They love you. They don’t care about politics.
Watch a Disney movie. Watch Mr. Rogers.
Go shopping. You don’t have to buy stuff. But browsing nice, aesthetically pleasing places like a Bath and Body Works is very comforting. Plus it gets out of the house. Take a friend with you!
Peoplewatch! Try a park, playground, a mall, or a campus building.
Belly breathe: Spend some time slowly but pointedly breathing with your stomach rather than your upper chest.
Reading can be hard to focus on when you’re anxious, but listening to audio books works wonders. Try LibriVox or AudioBookRadio.
Seek companions and empathy. Talk about what upsets you. But don’t do it alone—online venting, for example, is highly stressful and can be counterproductive because of its one sidedness. Find someone you trust and talk to them. Talk to your mom. Find a human voice.
Take a gentle, safe sleep aid. Nyquil makes a safe sleep aid. Benadryl and dramamine are also good sleep aids. Avoid alcohol—it’s hard on your already agitated stomach.
Interact with your immediate environment and the people in it. Visit your neighbor. Go for a walk. Sign up to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Getting involved in your local community is a good way to shrink what feel like overwhelming problems into manageable bites.
Watch QVC. I know this sounds weird, but QVC is a rock for times when you’re stuck alone with your problems, especially at night—it’s broadcast live, which is a nice reminder that the world is still turning, Plus, they talk to you in a positive, encouraging tone, as opposed to the news, which is mostly designed to terrify you.
Watch The Weather Channel. Like QVC, The Weather Channel is comforting in its predictability and live broadcasting. The content is not as positive, but it is a good distraction and a reminder that there is a real, living world out there.
There are lots of live online stations you can watch, too. Live kittens, live underwater kelp forests. Here are Cornell Labs’ Live Bird Cams: http://cams.allaboutbirds.org/
Try Yoga. Even a simple beginner’s video where you’re gently guided to focus on your body will help calm you: Here’s a good one for beginners.
Focus on the present. Focus on an environment you can physically improve. Anxiety is mostly the fear of an uncertain future—so focus on what you can do right now in the room you’re in. Are there dishes to wash? A bed to make? Work to do? Do these things. Chores are amazing at relieving anxiety. I recommend @unfuckyourhabitat if you need inspiration.
Do homework. I’m not even joking. There’s a difference between good knowledge and bad knowledge, and no matter your age, actively putting good knowledge into your brain helps relieve stress. Find a topic that you don’t know much about. Research it. Take notes. Learn something new. Write a friend and email telling them all about this new thing you’ve learned.
Take a bath.
Masturbate. YOU BET. Touching yourself in a soothing way and allowing yourself to feel pleasure is a great reminder to your body that you care about it.
Pamper yourself. Paint your nails. Put on makeup.
Try ASMR, a proven relaxation technique. I recommend Maria aka Gentlewhispering:
Also, I mentioned this on Twitter, but if you’re up to it, and you have the strength, chat with people online. Let friends know that your DMs and messages are open. Reach out to strangers who are scared. Wish people well.
You have a right to feel angry, frustrated, and frightened today. But comforting others will help you feel less powerless.
♠(Louis) Tell these people, politely, that their feelings towards you aren’t mutual. If that fails, tell them more forcefully. They’ll get the message.
Something’s been nagging me about most fandom meta for a
while, and I’ve only recently put my finger on it:
The vast majority of what
crosses my dash is coming from a position of bad faith.
By bad faith, I mean meta presuming that most people are 1)
doing fandom wrong and 2) need to be instructed on how to do it right. Meta
writers are addressing common fanons, stereotypes, trends, and other aspects of
fandom that they dislike, and which they think need to be stopped or
reexamined. And you know what? I’ll admit that there’s sometimes a kernel of
truth in what people are presenting; however, I think the means are very
flawed. Wagging fingers at people doesn’t work very well, because you’re
guilting them for how they choose to spend their free time, in a hobby that
they love.
Here’s what happens when I see a piece of meta chiding
fandom:
People who already agree with the stance agreeing with the
meta
People who disagree, posting rebuttals
People reblogging with guilty tags about how they feel bad
for enjoying [bad thing]
Is this really productive? Is it encouraging less [bad
thing], more [good thing]? Not really.
Now that I’ve put myself in the position of doing the exact fingerwagging
I’ve criticized, what do I think is the solution to this problem? Because yes,
there are some things in fandom which are pretty bad, and which I wish reduced.
Produce the work you want to see in fandom. If you don’t
produce content, then comment, kudos, reblog, rec, or otherwise send good wishes
to things that meet your standards for [good thing], instead of yelling at
people for [bad thing]. Be supportive, rather than negative. Ignore shit that
you hate, because it doesn’t deserve your attention anyway. What’s a greater
condemnation of a work than silence? Being nastily critical will often put fans
on the defensive and create more support
of things that are legitimately problematic/bad/just plain silly. No one wants
to produce fanwork to an empty room. And all that attention that you’re now
giving to [good thing], rather than [bad thing]? Is going to produce more and
more [good thing].
Plus, you can always make friends through privately griping
about [bad thing], so you can still get your hate on, you diamond.
Tumblr is so exhausting. Not everyone or everything is bad. Everyone and everything eventually fucks up and says/does something they shouldn’t but not everyone and everything should be written off because of those things. It’s so, so fucking tiring to read people having to constantly justify their enjoyment of someone or something. Liking someone or something does not mean you condone everything about it or them.
Cutting out someone or something that is important to you or has a positive impact on you just because someone on Tumblr says they’re problematic or digs up old receipts is so upsetting and unnecessary. You do you. Enjoy what you enjoy, recognize the problems it inevitably has, but don’t feel pressure to give someone or something up if you don’t want to and if they make you happy. It’s fine. You’re allowed.
♛There are many people out there who never should have been parents. I’m sorry that your mother is the way she is. Louis’ mother was like this, too. All she could see was his flaws. She was so disappointed with the way her life had turned out that her self-worth was built on bullying everyone around her into almost obsequious obedience.
Take heart in knowing that you’ll be free of your mother eventually, free to go out and find people who will love you! People who will see your flaws but love you anyway. People who will want to help you improve in the ways you want to improve, and accept you in the ways you don’t. As you’ll do the same for them.
Hell, I’m far from perfect! But did I deserve the treatment I got from my father every time I wanted to improve my lot in life? It was the way things were at that time, and that’s the way things continue to be for so many people, even in this modern age. Trying to understand the reason why people behave the way they do may give you some perspective and closure. In so many cases, it’s a deep insecurity that causes people to be cruel to their children. I’m guilty of that.
Your parents are just people, too. If it seems like all they do is try to tear you down, without any intention of helping you improve, do not let their disapproval seep into your own opinion of yourself. Life goes on so much longer than your upbringing, you have plenty of time and opportunity to find love and happiness.
I-want-my-IWTV 