compiled from a chat with:

queenofthesavagegarden, vagabonddaniel, i-want-my-iwtv, merciful-death, viaticumforthemarquise, and damnitarmand

• TheatreJock!Lestat
• TeachersPet!Armand
• Marius is the the guidance counselor that was mysteriously fired from a junior high

• Louis and Lestat have quick sex under the bleachers almost every day
• and during L/L breakup times, Louis and Armand make out there
• And occasionally, Louis and Nicki make out there too

• Daniel would run the school blog and twitter
• and Daniel would take AP English and Journalism
• when Dan is having a really bad day he hangs out in Marius’s office and plays with Marius’s models of things.

• Louis would spend like 8 hrs telling Daniel his life story one sat nite.
• Louis would be the dirty hipster
• Louis would be the pretentious asshole running the book club
• who listens to all the music you’ve never heard of
• and watches all the indie films you’ve never heard of
• and he would have his hair up in a manbun
• and wear glasses
• and be a cute patoot

• Daniel and Armand would be that couple that is constantly breaking up
• and getting back together
• and you only know if they’re on or off if you see them making out against the lockers
• or holding hands or whatever

• I realize that these couples are the couples that the friend group dedicates their lunch talking about

• Armand would hang out with the goth kids, and they would consider him their leader, but he wouldnt comform to their all-black dress code

• and one of the goth kids, Santiago, is always trying to usurp him
• but the other goth kids still hold Armand up as the leader
• bc Santiago was kinda douchey

• Nicolas plays crazy violin music as bg tunes for the goth club
• Nicolas and Lestat once dated but had a nasty breakup and everyone knows not to ask either one of them about it
• Nicki is also first chair violin in orchestra
• Nicolas doesn’t hang out with the band geeks tho
• Which is so weird
• Nicolas is that musician who hangs out with the theatre crowd.
• Nicolas is Lestat’s ex
• who controls the student orchestra
• especially when Lestat has the lead in a musical
• and they have all these fucked up fights at rehearsal

• David is head librarian
• David is Giles
• and acts basically like Giles from BTVS
• And is also basically the good looking librarian people crush on
• He fucking is
• (ok but David is literally Giles)

• Jesse runs a ghost hunting club
• Everyone would make fun of her but she’s too cool and nice
• Jesse likes to sit in on everyone’s club meetings at least once.

• Jesse and Daniel would hang out and commiserate over their weird friends
• She would comfort him during his Armand drama
• And punch Daniel when he’s a douchebag

• Gabrielle is “Stacey’s Mom”
• LESTAT’S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN ON
• Gabrielle is the MILF everyone can’t decide if they’re creeped out about or hot for
• INCLUDING Lestat haha
• but when anyone looks at her when she’s chaperoning a dance Lestat gets very protective of her

• Akasha is the ex-principle that everyone but Lestat hates
• Akasha wanted to make the high school an all-girls exclusive private school
• Akasha was fired bc she tried to expel almost all the guys
• And legit she did get alot of male students and teachers expelled
• before people caught on
• and realized what was up
• and how she and Lestat made out in the nurse’s office

• Mael is Groundskeeper Willy
• and he just grumbles at everyone
• to get off his lawn
• Jesse befriends Mael and is the only one who understands him
• He lets Jesse have meetings on his lawn
• Like in Home Alone
• and he gives her a bracelet that he found on the field years ago

• Mekare is the Principal of the Damned
• All she does is stare at everyone
• Maharet is the assistant principal who does most of the work

• Gabrielle has an affair with the Western Civ teacher
• And that is a new teacher, Bianca
• so that Lestat’s mom has hot lesbian affairs with his teachers

• Madeleine is the creepy Home Ec teacher
• and she has them making dolls for a whole semester
• “how does this help us-“
• "SHUT UP AND GO BACK TO YOUR MACHINE”

• Merrick was Louis’ rebound relationship from Lestat
• until Lestat somehow got her expelled for witchcraft
• you have to have the pagan chick
• who smokes cloves
• and burns incense in her car
• and corrects everyone who says “god” with “goddess”
• Merrick was scaring the goth kids
• by saying she could call down ghosts and also she had a jade dagger
• that she cut Louis with
• Yeah, Louis had a really freaky relationship with her
• he liked it at the time
• He kind of misses that creepy sex but then Lestat reminds him why he’s better

• and then there’s this little girl Claudia who is super smart for her age
• so she goes to the high school
• Who has a massive crush on Louis and tried to legitimately kill Lestat
• Louis humors her by spending time in study hall with her in the library
• and then she gets him to take her to the dance

• Khayman is the nice free period teacher that everyone loves because he lets them do whatever they want

• Santino is the drill sergeant gym teacher who everyone hates
• but they do what he says

• All the mean kids steal Flavius’ peg leg

• Pandora is the hot Ancient Civilizations teacher