This is the world’s largest crystal ruby. Mark Mothersbaugh had the gem carved in the shape of an ice cream cone.
“A few years ago I became friends with a gemologist, and I saw all these gems that he had lying around, one of which was this big ugly stone that I picked up. “That’s the world’s largest ruby you’re holding.” He didn’t know what to do with it, so next time I saw him I asked if I could carve it. It’s right over there. [Points across the room to a glass case.]
I was thinking: Who do you sell the world’s largest ruby to? Somebody who’s uber-rich. And people don’t get uber-rich unless there’s something dark attached to it. It’s always communists in China, or drug dealers in South America, or oil people in Russia. It’s those kinds of people who are going to want the world’s largest ruby. And I wanted to fuck with them in some way. So I said: I’m going to carve it into a turd. But it will look like a custard. I’m going set it on top of a cone, and it will look like a sweet-treat, but really it’s a turd. They’ll buy it because it’s the world’s largest ruby, but only I’ll know that it’s a turd.“ – Mark Mothersbaugh
Give me a heartwarming Christmas movie about Satan traveling around the world every Christmas to deliver presents to all the young kids and kids with learning disorders and disabilities who misspell “Santa” on their Christmas letters every year
And Santa’s all like, “You know, I can handle a few spelling mistakes, I got this,” and Lucifer is like “They’re addressed to me, fuck off, I’m doing it.”
Lucifer being protective of his fanmail is ceaselessly entertaining.
Why is it that when couples make a new human life, it’s ‘beautiful’ and ‘miraculous,’ but when I make a new human life alone in my basement, it’s ‘a crime against nature’ and ‘morally abhorrent’?
Lestat here. The first question I want to answer today comes from Garrick Woolley: “Lestat, what was the greatest thing about being born to darkness when Magnus worked the Dark Trick?” — The greatest single thing about receiving the Dark Gift was the sense of power, the immediate awareness of heightened senses and greatly heightened strength. And young men are almost always seduced by power. The sense of being more powerful than humans, of being able to overcome any human adversary — well, that was dizzying. And later on, when I did pass into a human body at the behest of the Body Thief, that was what I immediately missed: the power. It takes years, maybe centuries to grasp other aspects of the Dark Gift, but the sense of greatly enhanced power is immediate. And thanks, Garrick, for the question. The second question I’ll address today is from Elizabeth Evelyn Pedro: “Lestat. I have fought long and hard to think of the right question to ask you. Then it came to me, asking a question to you is like asking god why he (or she) does what he does. There is no right question. There isn’t one I can think of that would not all ready have been asked. But I did finally think of something. Do you have a question? Any thing you want to ask us your followers? I’m quite sure you will get a honest answer.” Thank you, Elizabeth, and there is something I would like to ask of you and other readers: what is the one thing you truly loathe and despise about me? I’d be very curious to hear your answer. I’d also like to know how it is that you can overlook or forgive this thing, whatever it is, that you so despise in me. Of course I imagine some of you can’t forgive me for the traits you despise, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on that too.
You guys that second question!?!
what is the one thing you truly loathe and despise about me? … how it is that you can overlook or forgive this thing, whatever it is, that you so despise in me.
I-want-my-IWTV 