Or are you… do you mean my ass? It’s so strange that pinching, smacking, really any touching of the butt is so much fun to do. What reaction are we looking for when we do it? Anything! A jump, a giggle, but really I think we’re trying to motivate (or figure out whether there’s a chance of) sexytiems.
Louis says he hates it when I do any of that to him but it so often leads to a good result that I can tell you he’s sending mixed messages on that *winks*
I love it when he pinches my cheeks. Face or otherwise.
♛I meant that in the figurative sense but of course someone had to go and take it literally. *growls* Just because the first vampiric monarchy found themselves imprisoned, forced to share, doesn’t mean I’ll meet the same fate.
If anyone calls me “the Fount” or any repugnant variation of such, they’ll find themselves facing the business end of Louis’ scythe. Fair warning.
♛It’s a great question, and one that puzzled me for a long time. You have it slightly off, though.
My hair didn’t become longer after I was turned. It was wavy, almost curly, and just past shoulder length and it still is, unless I cut it. It grows back to the length it was when I died. I can’t grow a beard or mustache, however, much to my chagrin and everyone else’s relief. I would have really liked to try the kind Salvador Dali sports *laughs* Sometimes I do apply fake ones for my own amusement. Goatee, soul patch, Tony Stark-esque manscaping, it’s a hobby.
Do I have any theories on this? Well, I didn’t know it would grow back so rapidly (and completely) until my mother had cut her hair. As you may know, during the day it had grown back to the length it was when she died. At the time, after the shock wore off, we did puzzle over it, but we had no one else to compare the experience with, so we assumed it was like all of our other inexplicable physical abilities: increased speed, strength, the ability to hear thoughts. Just another piece of the mystery of what we had become.
Knowing what we know now, I would offer that our special hair growth (and the fact that it maintains the texture it had when we were alive) is part of Amel’s irrational fusion with us.
In case you aren’t familiar with dearest Amel: we, as a species, all share a piece of the one great entity that is him, he’s our spiritual parasite. He connects us all together.
When we give the Dark Gift, our fledgling takes an invisible piece of Amel into him/herself, and Amel gets right to work mapping out their body, unconsciously choosing the things that will work for him, discarding what won’t…
it’s a tingling feeling. Our physical appearance is important to him; he wants to preserve the beauty he finds, and part of that is hair length (this applies to all hair, all over the body… you’ll note that Jesse was groomed for it first).
For if we can remain just as we were when we died, we have the best chance of continuing to exist, feed ourselves/him, and let him experience the world vicariously through us.
♛You might not ever find love. Or it may be right around the corner. Who can tell?
Let go of any feelings of inadequacy for this, if you feel it. Too many people think of life as a series of required chapters or items on a checklist that must be accomplished, and therefore, the failure to achieve them implies a failure in you.
Absolutely not so. “Failure.” “Success.” Let go of these idiotic societal concepts. It’s far worse to settle for having someone in your life who goes through the motions of loving you, but doesn’t. Someone you don’t love. Someone you project your fantasies onto. Someone you want so badly to love you the way you need to be loved. So many people fall into this trap; locked to someone they end up despising sooner or later.
All the loves of my life were found when I pushed past my comfort zone.* One thing is certain, love won’t find you if you close yourself off from the possibility and opportunity. I found Louis in pursuit of keeping my diet strictly evildoer, and there he was, too dignified to do it himself, throwing himself to the wolves in the hopes that they would slay him. Something led me there, among all the other dens of sin I might have gone to that night. Did fate lead me to him? I like to think so.
*Not that I have much of a comfort zone to begin with *shrugs*
But here’s the biggest mistake about finding love: Don’t look for your “other half.” Don’t look for someone to “complete” you. I know that there are codependent people out there in this world who find each other and they do consider what they have to be love (I even tried such myself), and I can’t really fault them if it works for them, but in my experience, that’s a kind of infatuation. To expect someone to complete you is almost to build in disappointment because only you can truly complete you.
The best relationships I’ve had were/are unions of equals. Where each person is whole. Where they have complimentary talents, skills, temperaments. Where they support each other vigorously. Where they push each other, gently, to be better. You have something in you to give. You may not have discovered it yet. Perhaps someone will help draw it out of you.
Even then, lovers may not last forever. Don’t expect someone to stay with you just because you both fell in love with each other once. People change. I have had intense relationships that felt like they would last forever and in fact ended horrendously. I took the pleasure with the pain. I wish I had reconciled with some of my exes better than I did, but I’ve learned from every breakup, I don’t dwell on the past in frustration, instead, I try to take the mistakes constructively. (Okay admittedly I do still beat myself up over certain failures, still. I’m the best at beating myself up. Why let an amateur do it when I can enjoy punishment from a professional? *weary sigh*)
You are whole as you are. Look at your triumphs in this life, look how far you’ve come. Look where you want to go, what you want to do. Give yourself some love.
♛This is a true confession, in the sense of a longing to reveal it to the one you care about. Strange, isn’t it, that there are different kinds of love, and that we can feel it for our friends as intensely as for our lovers?
Best friends are family members who we choose, and want to keep in our lives. It seems that fate brings them to us just when we need them. You look over at them from across the couch and think, “How did I get to be so lucky to end up with this incredible creature by my side?!” The same can be said for lovers.
If you really do have these feelings for your best friend, the feelings may be mutual. They may not. Is it worth risking losing the friendship over? That’s a question you have to ask yourself. No one can advise you.
Some of the strongest loving relationships have foundations in trusting, close friendships. Certainly Nicki and I had that. I’ll forever mourn the loss of “our conversation,” which later involved communicating in an entirely new way. There are certain… things… we did together that I’ve done with no one else since, and never will. One might say he was the first person who ever really listened to me, and wanted to share with me in return. Through getting to know each other, we were drawn closer and closer… he was the first person to be curious about and love what was inside of me, on a long-term basis. I thought I knew what was inside of him, and I loved what I found there. Intimacy followed naturally.
In contrast, Louis and I had precious little time in the beginning. He would have died if I had waited even one more night. I thought we might be immediately bonded with the Dark Gift. The shock of it and his nature was, unexpectedly, a huge obstacle for him, and those first few years, what really held us together was our lingering – and mostly restrained – desire for the each other. We struggled through and became friends slowly. Then best friends. Then lovers.
We defy titles. Definitely not two halves of one whole, although I do like to refer to him publicly as “my better half” occasionally, just to tease him *smirks*
Maybe that’s the point I’m trying to make. Do you and your friend seek to draw closer to the inner core of each other? You may need to wait for a sign that they want that, too.
♛Ooooh burn. You know, for Louis v. 1.0, you lacked his penchant for literally setting me on fire, but you always knew how to do it figuratively.
It might have smelled like that after I was forcibly kidnapped from it. I was always the one who brought flowers in and swept up. It must have smelled awful without me, your doting maid.
#kills and licks the blood from her lips #Get on my level Louis #Best Vampire Ever #Are you proud of your monster father? #Blood is life
♛Darling! I am very proud of you, mon monstre petit. You might say burning with pride. Louis is much improved by now but he does need to get on your level. He’d be devastatingly more fun.
I-want-my-IWTV 