So you’re a fanartist/fanfic writer who has recently gotten some hate for your content. Not about whether or not you draw good, I can’t help you with that, about how a stranger thinks you’re a bad person for your ships. You try to avoid discourse whenever possible because that’s what fans with common sense do, but suddenly discourse is thrown onto your doorstep like a half-drowned cat that has definitely tasted human flesh before. The last thing you want to do is get mixed up in a big argument or somehow become the next Tumblr pariah. What should you do?
1) Don’t Respond
It’s really tempting to clap back with some clever insult, but that’s not a good idea if you want to avoid an argument. It’s fine to just delete an ask or ignore a mean reblog. In fact, it’s probably more of an insult than actually responding with something. Antis want attention and it’s a real power move to deny them the spotlight.
2) Block
Blocking may seem like a drastic measure to some people, but it’s just a part of social media. If you dislike someone, you don’t have to talk to them. There’s plenty of other people in the world who aren’t assholes. Don’t be afraid to block the ones who are.
3) Take a Breath
There are 7.6 billion people on the planet. It doesn’t matter very much if one person hates you. Some people think the earth is flat and Queen Elizabeth is a lizard creature. People can be wrong. You’re not a bad person for your ships. What you explore in fiction doesn’t define your morality.
4) Talk to Someone Who Cares About You
I mean someone who actually cares about you. A parent, a close friend, a pet, it doesn’t really matter who, just that they actually care about you. These are the people who matter in your life. Not strangers on the internet who know exactly nothing about you, not some fandom hivemind that polices your morality, people who really care. They know you aren’t a bad person. They know you would never support terrible crimes or harm real people. You can tell them about the hate you got if that helps, I’m sure they’ll find it ridiculous.
5) Don’t Stop Creating
There’s no better way to spite antis than to make more art. Keep drawing your problematic otp, keep writing your darkfics, show them that their hate has done absolutely nothing to stop you. If you get more hate, start at step 1 again. Remember, anons can be ip blocked from your desktop inbox. If someone threatens your safety, report it to Tumblr and don’t be afraid to pursue legal action if it escalates. Death threats are not protected speech in the US and are considered a serious crime. But most of the time it won’t come to that. If you don’t engage with antis, eventually they’ll get bored and leave you alone.
Tag Archives: laws of fandom
I’m going to be roleplaying with someone and they want to do a mother/son relationship, like not in the usual way. Like, what is the ACTUAL relationship between Gabrielle and Lestat? What is it really? I want to do a thread, but I don’t want to trigger anyone or make it look all grim and incestuous. And I sincerely apologize if I’ve offended you by asking the question. I just dunno.
[By the way, I usually answer things with a relevant fanart/image/gif, but in this case, I think it’s too serious a topic for that.]
- “And I sincerely apologize if I’ve offended you by asking the question.”
No offense taken, it’s a fair question!
I am a little wary that this is a bait set out by those who see things in RP/fiction as “promoting” something in real life. A bait set to invite the kind of anti-shippers who are looking for a way to tear me down regardless of how I respond, when all I ever want to promote is:
The 3 Laws of Fandom.
(And I’ll quote a relevant piece of it from @ozhawkauthor, but please read the whole post):
“Much (though not all) fandom is about shipping. There are as many possible ships as there are fans, maybe more. You may have an OTP (One True Pairing), you may have a NOTP, that pairing that makes you want to barf at the very thought of its existence.
It’s not up to you to police ships or to determine what other people are allowed to ship. Just because you find that one particular ship problematic or disgusting, does not mean that other people are not allowed to explore its possibilities in their fanworks.
You are free to create contrarian content, to write meta about why a particular ship is repulsive, to discuss it endlessly on your private blog with like-minded persons.
It is not appropriate to harass creators about their ships, it is not appropriate to demand they do not create any more fanworks about those ships, or that they create fanwork only in a manner that you deem appropriate.
These three laws add up to the following:
You are not paying for fanworks content, and you have no rights to it other than to choose to consume it, or not consume it. If you do choose to consume it, do not then attack the creator if it wasn’t to your taste. That’s the height of bad manners.
Be courteous in fandom. It makes the whole experience better for all of us.”
I want to make it very clear that I’m answering this as someone who supports exploring dark themes and taboo topics in fiction/RP. As long as you are not violating real living person’s rights, or invading any real living person’s space*, then you are doing nothing wrong.
I’ve been blocked. I try to tag for things that can be triggering/upsetting to others, but I will not self-censor to appease everyone, so I absolutely support ppl unfollowing/blocking me if what I post makes them uncomfortable.
*Posting your fic/RP with the appropriate warning tags is a form of respecting others’ space and rights. If they don’t like your writing, they can block you, too. Their dashboard is their responsibility.
- “I want to do a thread, but I don’t want to trigger anyone or make it look all grim and incestuous.”
I think grim and incestuous could be very interesting to explore; not every fic/RP can be a fluffy Coffee Shop AU!
Re: Concern about triggering anyone, I’ll repeat myself, it is everyone’s responsibility to curate their own fandom experience and as long as you are tagging and putting content under cuts, it is their responsibility to protect themselves. If they are incapable of that, then they should ask a trusted person to monitor their internet use.
People are triggered by many things, not just taboo and darker themed writing. This person’s triggers are Jello, Popsicles, Soup Broth, please read it! And to quote from that post, “a lot of ‘activists’ on tumblr aren’t looking to actually help anyone or make anything better: they’re sadists cruising for new victims.”
TL; DR: Anon, do what you and your partner are comfortable doing.** If RPing it as a ship squicks you both out, don’t do it. If Rping it as a ship is exciting to you both and you want to explore that taboo, go for it! Just be sure to tag it with the right warnings, and add cuts so that ppl will be protected from content they may not want to see. You can also RP privately however you like, there is no rule that says RP must be done publicly.
**If your RP partner is pressuring you to RP something you are uncomfortable with, then I would suggest not RPing that with them, and similarly, if you are pressuring your RP partner to RP something they are uncomfortable with, I would suggest not pressuring them into it.
Hit the jump for my response, cut for length, and discussion about possible incest between fictional characters.
- “I’m going to be roleplaying with someone and they want to do a mother/son relationship, like not in the usual way.”
Is there a “usual way” to RP? If you’re suggesting in the ship way, it is something I’m sure exists.
Ppl RP with canon in mind, or without it.
- “Like, what is the ACTUAL relationship between Gabrielle and Lestat? What is it really?”
That is a question with a ton of landmines, so I’m not going to say that they are definitely a ship or definitely not, it’s up to the individual reader/RPer to decide based on their reading of canon, or diverge from canon and write the characters however they see fit. This kind of exploration is one of many ways to engage with the characters and I see nothing wrong with canon-compliant or not canon-compliant writing, either way.
Personally, I can see both sides of the argument.
>>Not as a ship: There are some who see them purely as a mother and a son, and DEFINITELY nothing more. She does come to his rescue at the rock concert (how did she know to go to him? She has telepathy, but being his fledgling, she cannot read Lestat’s mind; she could have picked up the warnings from other vampires, or Louis might have contacted her), there are several times in canon when she asserts herself in an authoritative manner. She’s protective of him when he’s in a coma, and she slaps some sense into him when necessary. All these things can be filed under “motherly.”
It’s easy to not ship them, so I don’t really need to provide further canon evidence, they are, biologically, mother and son! There’s nothing more to add to that.
>>As a ship, Unpopular Opinion: one could argue that they can be shipped, because:
A) He becomes her maker, which changes their relationship to him being more of the “parent.”
– During the initial phase of Lestat turning Gabrielle in TVL, as he’s taking her life, he says she’s no longer his mother (to be fair, this is the kind of intimacy a vampire feels when feeding on anyone, but still, worth mentioning):
My
knowledge dimmed and flickered and there was no mother anymore,
no petty need and petty terror; she was simply who she was. She was
Gabrielle.
– Then, once she’s turned, she insists on being called by her name instead of “Mother,” so some take that as proof that she doesn’t see herself as being his mother anymore, in the mortal sense of the word.
B) The act of making a vampire is extremely intimate, it has been compared to childbirth. It’s the most intimate act a vampire can share with anyone. I believe in fanon that it creates a physiological bond between maker and fledgling, so one could extrapolate to say that the act itself could create a ship.
Note: In most maker/fledgling relationships, there is some assumption that turning the fledgling is done to bind maker and fledgling as a ship; essentially making the fledgling into a companion for the maker and the maker into a companion for the fledgling. In this case, Lestat turned Gabrielle in order to save her life, not knowing if he would even survive the act, so I don’t think this was a factor here, neither of them necessarily intending to be in a relationship together, but the physiological bond discussed above would still be a possibility.
Also worth mentioning is that he asks for her consent, as he had not been asked for consent himself, and the question is very clear:
No words again, just the silent thrust of it, and the question, more immense than could ever be put into words, Do you want to come with me now? DO YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME INTO THIS NOW? I hide nothing from you, not my ignorance, not my fear, not the simple terror that if I try I might fail. I do not even know if it is mine to give more than once, or what is the price of giving it, but I will risk this for you, and we will discover it together, whatever the mystery and the terror, just as I’ve discovered alone all else. With her whole
being she said Yes.
^This could be construed as him wanting her for a companion and her agreeing to it.
C) LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX. This is a point of debate for many fans, whether the Ricean vampires can have penetrative sex. In my opinion, in canon they cannot, and while penetrative sex is NOT A REQUIREMENT to a relationship (there are relationships where there is no penetrative sex and they are no less valid than those which do have it, in my opinion), the incestuous aspect of a Lestat/Gabrielle ship is alot less squicky for me knowing that they aren’t able to literally bone in the mortal way. Some would argue that the bloodsharing is more intimate than penetrative sex, and that’s fine, but still, being unable to literally bone is just so much less squicky, in my opinion. But ppl made fanart of essentially that and it was still very funny, to me!
Call it what you will, but the first bloodkiss shared in canon is between Lestat and Gabrielle on the night she is turned.
^^^ALL THAT SAID, I wouldn’t shoot anyone down who ships it, they are both adult fictional characters. One could argue that there is some canon evidence to support it, but canon evidence is unnecessary.
Again, Anon, do what you and your partner are comfortable doing. If RPing it as a ship squicks you both out, don’t do it. If Rping it as a ship is exciting to you both and you want to explore that taboo, go for it! Just be sure to tag it with the right warnings, and add cuts so that ppl will be protected from content they may not want to see. You can also RP privately however you like, there is no rule that says RP must be done publicly.
If your RP partner is pressuring you to RP something you are uncomfortable with, then I would suggest not RPing with them, and similarly, if you are pressuring your RP partner to RP something they are uncomfortable with, I would suggest not pressuring them into it.
Here’s the thing that bugs me about Tumblr fandoms.
People latch onto certain headcanons. These headcanons become popular. Suddenly the fandom starts insisting that said headcanon is actual canom. They become so militant about it that they punish anyone who disagrees with them.
Now, I absolutely love headcanons. By all means, you should rewrite canon. Reinterpret canon. Make the canon more inclusive and more diverse. Question the messages put forth by the canon. You have the freedom to change and critique the canon as you see fit.
But please remember that other people are allowed to have their own interpretations as well. Give everyone the liberty to develop headcanons that appeal to them. And for the love of God, don’t attack people that see things differently than you.
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#Please understand the difference between fanon and canon#if the show/creator debunks it- it’s DEBUNKED#it can still be fanon#it can still be an AU#it can still be fun#but its real uncomfortable to see people CLING to stuff claiming the show/creator is wrong#or get mad at people entertaining different ideas/giving credence to the actual canon
“And for the love of God, don’t attack people that see things differently than you.”
I’m really not trying to call you out, or get angry, but you’re a really big voice in the fandom, and I think that you need to consider how you respond to people: you’re very harsh with some suggestions/opinions/head-cannons, (Lestat being bipolar or having ptsd, neither of which we’re certain of; the way that some people like to tease IWTV the movie; people who really enjoy or at think fans should give Rice’s new work a chance; people that really like TQOTD) [tbc]
[part 3] I really like this blog, and I really like you as a spokesperson of sorts for the Tumblr side of her fanbase, but it’d be great if you could take a step back and consider how much you criticize the opinions of others. You put a lot of stuff below the cut, and maybe your’e just stressing a lot as of late because I’ve noticed it more now than before, but you often shut down people very quickly who have different ideas or thoughts on the series than you do.
(Was there a part 2? If there was, then Tumblr ate it.)
I deeply considered this message, it’s been over one whole day, so I’m not replying too quickly.
“…maybe your’e just stressing a lot as of late…”? Thank you for the concern, but no… in the past 2 weeks, we have a new VC book to read and there is turbulence in the fandom about the VC rights reverting back to Anne Rice… my reactions have been the normal amount of mixed emotions for this kind of information. Sometimes there’s exaggeration, which is normal for social media; to replace the emotions we don’t express vocally, w/ gestures, or w/ facial expressions.
I have to respectfully disagree with you. I’m going to reply to this as thoughtfully as I can, without a cut, but basically: make Tumblr a good place for you, and unfollow me if you need to do so.
[^X by @purplekecleon, now known as @glitchedpuppet]
1. As stated before, I do not hold myself out as “a really big voice,” any kind of official authority of, or spokesperson for, this fandom. I have accepted titles in a humorous way only, I do not consider my headcanons/opinions above anyone else’s.
In “As stated before,” linking to a post from 1 week ago, someone else told me that “as a monolith of the fandom,” I have an obligation to be MORE critical, share more critical opinions of VC than I do already, so you can see that I can’t please that person AND you at the same time. Since I consider meta-analysis and reviews to be a form of fanwork, and I encourage fanworks, I am going to continue to share them.
I never told anyone NOT to read the new Anne Rice books PL and PLROA. I have respectfully shared some concerned and negative reviews. Rice is a professional writer and knows that part of putting her work out there means that it is vulnerable to readers’ review. If one bad review stops a long-time lover of a book series from reading the latest book, that’s sad, but I would not censor negative reviews. Rice used to respond to negative reviews, but currently, I believe that her stance is to ignore them.
2. #Your Headcanon May Vary – I don’t always include this fandom law, as this is a fandom blog so it applies by default, but I’ve included it anyway, enough times that I thought it was understood implicitly by now. I am not going to add it as a disclaimer to every response, because I feel like it does not need to be stated. I don’t know if you are new to fandom, but here are a few more Fandom Laws, following them is about “being courteous in fandom. It makes the whole experience better for all of us.”
This is a social platform, and we all have our own opinions about these fictional characters, film/TV adaptations of canon, and the canon in general. We do not need to agree. We do not need to soften our opinions for anyone. Part of what is so great about a social platform like this is the exchange of ideas, it’s intellectually stimulating to consider other people’s interpretations and headcanons, even if they are stated in a harsh and/or strong manner. I consider every single one that is suggested to me, and I can decide if I want to accept it or not. It doesn’t matter where the ideas come from, even someone suggesting something who has only seen movie!QOTD might have a great idea I might accept!
My headcanon is a collection of my own and other people’s ideas from discussions, fanfics, fanart, meta-analysis posts, etc. which I have absorbed over the last 20+ years I’ve been in fandom. Most of my headcanon would not exist if I did not discuss ideas with other people, or engage in fandom through fanworks. I am grateful for all of the rich discussions and even heated arguments I’ve had about VC over the years!
There are many opinions out there that I disagree with, but I go by the Real Life rule of “Live and Let Live.” Here’s two examples:
[^X by @vampchronfic]
- A) People bash Antonio Banderas as Armand in IWTV, he is one of the fandom’s punching bags. I have stated my opinions about him in my #Defending Antonio tag, but I don’t mind that other people still don’t like him. If I am the only one who liked him as Armand in that movie, that’s totally fine by me!
- B) Just as I do poke fun at movie!QOTD, I don’t mind if other people adore it. I know that some people find it nostalgic. Some people love the soundtrack. Some people love Aaliyah or Stuart Townsend, any number of reasons, or just, “I don’t know why, I just like it” are all fine!
^I am actually friendly with both (A) the people who despise Antonio!Armand, and (B) the people who love movie!QOTD, because we can Live and Let Live. Friendship is not dependent on agreement.
Being in the same fandom with people does not mean that they have to agree with you. I used to think that it did, and that it guaranteed friendship. It does neither of those things. If we all agreed on everything, would there even be anything left to discuss?
#IWANTMYIWTV RP
One of the examples you mentioned of my being harsh re: my headcanons was an Ask directed to Lestat, and I answered as Lestat, in character. Yes, he often responds harshly. I headcanon him as a friendly character but guarded, especially against anonymous strangers, even those that very respectfully suggest that he has a mental illness. Anyone can ask other Lestat RPers the same thing and see what they might say.
In that response, he begins with taking offense, but then winds down to pointing out that it’s unfortunate that medication/therapy carries an unfair stigma, that he does go to therapy, and considers that medical intervention may have helped Nicolas. So to write all that off as being harsh makes me feel like you didn’t read the answer fully. I put some of the response under the cut because cutting long posts is part of Tumblr etiquette.
I do not headcanon him as bipolar. Whether or not he is bipolar is up to every reader’s interpretation. Which brings me to my next point:
The real VC authority
It’s worth mentioning that on FB in another thread, in another topic, Anne Rice herself was asked about “But as a long time fan, I’ve ( and many other fans, I´m sure..) never understood the whole “Lestat and Louis- thing” and I think in a psychologically way it is also very interesting. Please, can you POFOUNDLY explain this whole relationship?”
^Is Anne Rice abdicating authority here? I’m not sure. It looks like she wants the asker to draw their own conclusions. But I have seen her questioned on FB, at booksignings, and spoken of on tumblr and elsewhere, in ways that lead me to believe that she is not considered the authority on VC to 100% of the fandom, and that she doesn’t mind that.
I love what she has given us, but she isn’t my authority. I don’t need her validation on my headcanons. If the creator of the series is not the authority, who is? Not me, I’m just one person.
You don’t need my validation. You don’t need anyone’s validation. You are your own VC authority, anon.
You can form your own headcanons and share them, convince people of them, or not. Make your fandom experience good for you, Live and Let Live, and unfollow me if you need to. I totally understand and wish you well.
The Three Laws of Fandom
If you wish to take part in any fandom, you need to accept and respect these three laws.
If you aren’t able to do that, then you need to realise that your actions are making fandom unsafe for creators. That you are stifling creativity.
Like vaccination, fandom only works if everyone respects these rules. Creators need to be free to make their fanart, fanfics and all other content without fear of being harassed or concern-trolled for their creative choices, no matter whether you happen to like that content or not.
The First Law of Fandom
Don’t Like; Don’t Read (DL;DR)
It is up to you what you see online. It is not anyone else’s place to tell you what you should or should not consume in terms of content; it is not up to anyone else to police the internet so that you do not see things you do not like. At the same time, it is not up to YOU to police fandom to protect yourself or anyone else, real or hypothetical.
There are tools out there to help protect you if you have triggers or squicks. Learn to use them, and to take care of your own mental health. If you are consuming fan-made content and you find that you are disliking it – STOP.
The Second Law of Fandom
Your Kink Is Not My Kink (YKINMK)
Simply put, this means that everyone likes different things. It’s not up to you to determine what creators are allowed to create. It’s not up to you to police fandom.
If you don’t like something, you can post meta about it or create contrarian content yourself, seek to convert other fans to your way of thinking.
But you have no right to say to any creator “I do not like this, therefore you should not create it. Nobody should like this. It should not exist.”
It’s not up to you to decide what other people are allowed to like or not like, to create or not to create. That’s censorship. Don’t do it.
The Third Law of Fandom
Ship And Let Ship (SALS)
Much (though not all) fandom is about shipping. There are as many possible ships as there are fans, maybe more. You may have an OTP (One True Pairing), you may have a NOTP, that pairing that makes you want to barf at the very thought of its existence.
It’s not up to you to police ships or to determine what other people are allowed to ship. Just because you find that one particular ship problematic or disgusting, does not mean that other people are not allowed to explore its possibilities in their fanworks.
You are free to create contrarian content, to write meta about why a particular ship is repulsive, to discuss it endlessly on your private blog with like-minded persons.
It is not appropriate to harass creators about their ships, it is not appropriate to demand they do not create any more fanworks about those ships, or that they create fanwork only in a manner that you deem appropriate.
These three laws add up to the following:
You are not paying for fanworks content, and you have no rights to it other than to choose to consume it, or not consume it. If you do choose to consume it, do not then attack the creator if it wasn’t to your taste. That’s the height of bad manners.
Be courteous in fandom. It makes the whole experience better for all of us.
Yup.
Slaps onto blog.
THIS
I-want-my-IWTV 