gorgeous-fiend-blog:

There is no definitive answer to what you are asking. With Nicolas it had been this intense love that came about  very quickly and rather out of the blue, now that I think about it. We were different, but the same, or so it felt at the time. I suppose I loved him for his spirit which was so like mine, crying out in rebellion.

With Louis…it was also very intense and rather out of the blue. You would not be wrong in saying I chose him largely because he reminded me of Nicolas, but he proved to be so much more than simply a shadow of a past love. Their looks and their penchant cynicism is where their similarities end.   To say that he is  better than Nicolas? Well. I’ve been “with” Louis  (on and off, of course) for the better of his immortal life  .There is nothing I do not know about him. I was with Nicki for…almost two years, if memory serves? And at the end of that he proved to me that he was not, in fact, the person I had come to love. Of course, that did not make the loss of him any easier. As you can plainly read in my autobiography, I went to ground because of his supposed death.

  Hmm, so  let me just say that Louis is different from Nicolas in that he managed to seduce me in ways I never could have imagined. At the same time, however, he has also brutalized me in ways Nicki could have never hoped to. The thing is, Anon,  I do not sit around comparing these two in my head. Perhaps in the beginning I did, but really at the very bottom of everything it is like trying to compare apples to  oranges.