shipping-isnt-morality:

I don’t have a well-articulated way of putting this yet but so much anti rhetoric strikes me as deeeeeeply sexphobic?

Like….. sexual attraction isn’t inherently predatory. Arousal is a largely involuntary process with no moral implications. Getting aroused by weird, benign, even horrifying things is a normal part of being human, and if it’s not distressing to you or causing you to act in antisocial ways then it’s not even a little bit an issue.

The idea that being aroused by another human is inherently objectifying of that human is some straight-up 18th century Kant philosophy. It was predicated on a lot of ideas we now know aren’t really true, and are deeply sexist besides. And they’re still just as wrong and sexist now as they were then? Sexual arousal isn’t a prequel to violence, attraction isn’t objectification, can we please all just in general stop being so afraid of other people’s and our own sexual feelings and start figuring out how to be accepting and positive about them in a way that benefits everyone

When vampires live together why are they considered to be lovers? Like Louis/Armand and Marius/Daniel. Are they feeding on each other intimately?Could they be just friends?

^YASSS TO ALL THIS, PREACH.

I obviously endorse all of this but I think these are major points that speak directly from my heart, as well:

monstersinthecosmos:

Hi!

So one of the things in VC is that these vampires are like sappy emotional goofballs and there’s a reoccurring theme of love transcending traditional boundaries. It’s also implied over and over that they experience love on a level that is unfathomable to us as MERE MORTALS because of their big magical vampire brains.

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I do think their relationships in general can be looked at on an individual basis and their history dictates the sort of tone there—I think they’re all just super extra and will always refer to companions as lovers even when there are dramatic qualitative differences in their relationship dynamics—like for example Louis & Armand strike me as a more traditional couple model, vs. Marius & Daniel strike me more in a father/son way because Marius takes care of him. Though, it’s a little hard to speculate because we don’t see a lot of them together. But! In this world, with the love transcending boundaries blah blah, it doesn’t mean they aren’t lovers in this universe and this context, because you see the same with Louis & Claudia or Lestat & Gabrielle. And even though there are a lot of areas in the stories where sex is implied through symbolism and coding and whatever there isn’t literal sex, so when you take sex out of the equation it’s a little easier to apply these broader definitions of love to these pairs of characters. And you see it over and over again that they never just like someone, or have a crush on someone. They’re just constantly ~IN LOVE~ with each other and they’re all so obsessed with how beautiful everyone is lol.

But also re: blood/sex !!!

Something I noticed in VC fandom is that there’s sort of a spectrum of how literally people take the blood=sex thing, and when you also combine that with the spectrum of people’s sexuality and sex positivity I think we come up with some varying interpretations of these stories and characters. I’m not here to say that anyone else is wrong. This is a place where interpretation is key and it’s something so personal and that people feel so strongly about that I don’t think authorial intent often changes anyone’s minds. And having the freedom to interpret literature and art the way you want to is something that makes it enjoyable. 

Again, I think we have to take individual characters or ships into consideration with some of these questions. Like, were they feeding intimately? Until Louis v.2.0 showed up I don’t think he was. Marius and Daniel feed on each other but Marius is always very generous with his blood with his lovers because he wants them to be strong and safe. I don’t think the vampires can share blood WITHOUT it being intimate but it’s important to decide what you think “intimate” means. Because bloodsharing can be compared to sex, which is intimate in its own way, but i also see it being akin to breastfeeding, and that’s super intimate too. We have ways of knowing that these two things are different versions of intimacy and obviously the vampires would, too. But then, again, there’s the idea that the way they love each other is so much bigger than just being about sex, and their definition of intimacy is something much more infinite than we can comprehend. It’s also worth acknowledging that when they share blood they’re literally opening up a stream of their own thoughts and emotions, which is something that we IRL only experience on an implied or symbolic level when we have intimate moments with real people in our lives. So their version of intimacy is a lot more complex due to the literal mechanics of what happens to them and also that they’re canonically just super emotionally intuitive.

But like, for me? I’m happy to play along and suspend my disbelief when I read VC and accept that I have a tiny pathetic human brain and that they’re experiencing something too profound for me to understand. I accept that they love each other on a deep level where it doesn’t matter if their relationship resembles a traditional couple vs a parent and child. That Louis can consider Claudia his lover or that Lestat can consider Gabrielle his lover because of the intimacy they share is a symbol to me that they are above petty human labels, because they are not human.

Every now and then I see discussions where the blood is reduced to sex on such a literal level and it strikes me as being really crude, and to me it does a huge disservice to one of the things I love the most about this series. And that’s, yknow, like I said, something that can vary to a degree between different people. I’m a very sex-positive person, but I’m also asexual. I don’t like reducing intimacy to meaning sex. So “lovers” to me doesn’t necessarily mean sex partners and it also doesn’t necessarily mean blood sharers, either. Like we know that Louis wouldn’t take blood from the others, which tells me he didn’t try it with Lestat or Armand pre-2000. That doesn’t mean he and Armand weren’t lovers. I think it often just means “I love this person, therefore they are my lover.”

You could take the ~just dudes being bros~ attitude to them or to any set of vampires living together if you really wanted to but I really think they’re such sappy motherfuckers that they wouldn’t spend so much time around each other if they weren’t in love, with or without blood to complicate it. I also think the overuse of the word lover is an expansion on romance and not a reduction of it, so in any case where a romantic pairing is ambiguous because of the language I think it’s always better to err on the side of them being in love. 

Having said all that I will also say I’m super dying to know more about what goes on at Trinity Gate with Benji and Sybelle and we just DON’T HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION TO KNOW. I’m curious to see if the coven/family-like nature of the household diffuses the intensity between them, especially if Louis is around to keep Armand occupied. 

So! Anyway.

Kind of a hard question to answer because I think you have to take everyone on a case-by-case basis but I would definitely say that they all feel really big passionate feelings and don’t have casual crushes on each other. If they’re living together they’re probably in love with each other, in some ridiculous vampire way that doesn’t really make any sense to me.

Why the fuck do I talk so much when I answer asks idk but 

TLDR I think companion and lover are often used interchangeably in VC because these vampires are clingy dramatic saps and that they have a really liberal definition of “lover” and apply it in ways that we don’t as real people in the real world.

Something I noticed in VC fandom is that there’s sort of a spectrum of how literally people take the blood=sex thing, and when you also combine that with the spectrum of people’s sexuality and sex positivity I think we come up with some varying interpretations of these stories and characters. I’m not here to say that anyone else is wrong. This is a place where interpretation is key and it’s something so personal and that people feel so strongly about that I don’t think authorial intent often changes anyone’s minds. And having the freedom to interpret literature and art the way you want to is something that makes it enjoyable.

But like, for me? I’m happy to play along and suspend my disbelief when I read VC and accept that I have a tiny pathetic human brain and that they’re experiencing something too profound for me to understand. I accept that they love each other on a deep level where it doesn’t matter if their relationship resembles a traditional couple vs a parent and child. That Louis can consider Claudia his lover or that Lestat can consider Gabrielle his lover because of the intimacy they share is a symbol to me that they are above petty human labels, because they are not human.

^Now, if anyone wants to define the vampires with human labels and definitions, that’s absolutely fine. You do you! 

I’m going to stray slightly from Anon’s ask, and focus more on the larger aspect of categorizing/analyzing//judging/defining, bc looking for concrete differences between (A)“they are considered to be lovers” when (B) “they could be just friends,” and really, I think like all questions directed at clarifying VC ships/characters/plot/etc., it’s in the eye of the beholder/reader’s interpretation of the text and discussing it with others, if they choose to, like in sending an ask to me, @monstersinthecosmos​, or anyone else.

On Analysis:

When Anne Rice said, “You’re interrogating the text from the wrong perspective!!! ;A; ” we all laughed. We still do, bc it sounded then, as it does now, at face value, like she’s a child stomping her feet and telling us we were judging her works objectively unfairly. That any negative or critical reviews could be labeled altogether as bullying, more or less.

…But really, over time, I’ve come to see this statement more as: “If you interrogate/criticize/analyze the text with a lens/rubric that the author was

(a)

not aware of, (b) not subscribed to, or (c.) was not a consideration during or preceding the time the work was written, you are very likely to find the text disappointing, and it will fail your judgment.” I think that Anne took it personally when fans were disappointed bc of this, but she steadfastly refused to accept guilt for disappointing them, and I admire her for sticking to her guns on that. There are fans who want her to include more POC, there are fans who insist that Lestat is straight, there are fans who want her to denounce all the VC and witch books bc they depict vampires and witches in a favorable light, etc. Since she cannot please everyone, she pleases her biggest fan only: herself.

I found a rubric for grading art (from thevirtualinstructor.com), probably for students in elementary or middle school, probably between 6-13 years old, I assume “S” means “student” and “T” means “teacher” but I can’t find the actual post about it, ANYWAY…

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^So this is ONE example of a means of judging a work, and honestly, for a child, I’d say it’s sufficient. I would rearrange and add a lot more it to judge an adult, but it would depend on the adult. Maybe something like Effort, which might seem to only apply to children, would still be a factor for someone recovering from surgery or doing art as therapy.

ANYWAY, so if you reread @monstersinthecosmos​‘s post there is so much to consider, especially re: the way we define “lover” and “companion” being very much in line with what I’ve added here, considering the rubric/lens from which we judge VC. 

The questions then become:

Are you looking to be disappointed? Are you looking to be impressed? What do you need from a fictional work? 

^And I think the answers to these will be different for everyone. In my experience, it’s been more enjoyable for me to take VC for what it is, and take pleasure in the acceptance, corrections, and/or manipulations (like AUs) of canon to fandom through fanworks and respectful discussion. 

To my mind, when the word of the author is not even the authority, and there are unreliable narrators, no one’s opinion supercedes anyone else’s, no matter how hard they might try to push you to agree with them. Curate your experience with fandom and your own headcanons.

What do I do when my parents say I talk about VC too much?

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(The temptation to drop this image and post is pretty strong but I’ll go on just a little more in the remote chance that you’re being serious.)(But really when you look at him, there’s pain there, in addition to the humor he’s trying to cover it up with, what he’s actually saying here is pretty flippant “We’re lucky to have such a home,” No honey, it’s not luck and you know it, but that’s a discussion for another time.)


NO CUTS WE LONGPOST LIKE MEN

I’ve been there, Anon, and at least in my case, I’m an adult and I don’t live with my parents, so I don’t need them to also like what I like, and I don’t need their approval to like the things that I like, but I remember feeling so validated when they DID like what I liked. I had a very good relationship with my parents over and above the fact that I admired them and respected their opinions on pretty much everything.

I talked about VC when I lived with them and they were receptive when I needed them to clarify things for me that

I didn’t understand at 11 years old. But this is the case with every piece of media and every new thing that I came across as I was growing up and all the way to currently, they were and are a valuable resource and sounding board for my developing ideas.

Sometimes I brought up VC to illustrate a point. Like Armand’s line in the movie was pretty motivational and helped me immensely when I was a bullied kid and needed confidence:

~We must be powerful, beautiful, and without regret.~

^Which Louis rejects bc he knows that regret absolutely does have value, especially to him in that scene. But I think, isolated, I took it as: 

“You’re carrying too much regret, wallowing in guilt is not working for you, and you need to let go of those things that are out of your control now, past mistakes are in the past, try to learn from them and do better, move on and you can be happier.” 

And I think that while my parents may not have been thrilled that I loved a series that centered around murderers, they had no issue with it as long as I wasn’t taking inspiration from it out in the backyard sacrificing rats to Louis or whatever! We would watch reruns of the Twilight Zone, Unsolved Mysteries, the X-Files, plenty of shows with crazy shit happening, we liked the thrill of monster stories, murder mysteries, all that stuff that takes you to dark places safely. Stories that didn’t shy away from exploring the various aspects of crime, accidents, monsters, and we talked about all of it! As we did then and still do, the lively debates about these things were and are very intellectually stimulating.

I don’t know how old you are, but do you agree with your parents that you talk about VC too much? I think it depends on what you’re saying when you talk about VC. It’s a work of fiction, if it’s making you unhappy you can chuck it out the window. If it’s making you happy, then keep talking about it. 

There are those who have asked Anne Rice to denounce the VC. When she returned to religion, there were Christians who felt that writing about ghosts, witches, and vampires was very wrong and bad, with no consideration as to the actual content of her books. There are so many more reasons for censorship out there. Some ppl might want to censor her books for daring to suggest that the same gender person can love the same gender person, and I know from conversations with other fans that it was a heartbreaking epiphany, to find fictional characters who could do that, that simple and natural thing, those readers who identified with that felt validated and relieved that someone was writing about it, someone was finally accepting them. It helped some of them realize that they were not alone. 

VC brought people together for what it contains, it continues to bring people together, I have met some of my best friends through VC. One of them I have driven my claws into and will not release has stuck with me for over 20 years, my first Real Life VC friend, and we met because I saw her reading QOTD on the bus to school. How dark and miserable my life would be without her.  

Censorship, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. 

I have to bring it up for the millionth time, #sorry not sorry. I’ll bring it up until my dying breath.

Censorship has become a bat some fans use to bludgeon other fans. I can’t support the crusaders who on a daily basis want to shame other fans for liking fictional characters. Despite their flaws, there are characters that have inspired readers. There are characters who have saved lives by opening readers’ eyes to the beauty of living.

Knowing what I know now, I think it would be hard for me to decide whether to let a child of mine read these books at the age that I did, and yet, I started to read them when I was 11 and I loved them. I think as long as a reader of any age has someone(s) they can rely on for clarification, then the books can be read. They can be discussed. They can inspire.  

What is storytelling? In so many forms, whether it’s sculpture, painting, music, theatre, TV, movies, books, cave-painting…  It’s sharing one’s own experience, trying to spin straw into gold, trying to find the silver lining, trying to tell one’s story to exorcise one’s own demons, and maybe, to try to give others the tools to exorcise theirs, too.

I hope your parents can see that when you talk about it, you’re looking for a connection with them, whether to share your impressions or get their feedback and clarification as they have more life experience than you do. Many parents miss out on the best part of having kids, which is the mutual sharing of ideas and perspectives. Mine knew it. I hope you have the kind of parents who know that, too.

asparklethatisblue:

This might come as a surprise but it’s ok to not like a ship, or even hate it viciously for no real reason. You don’t need to come up with reasons why it’s morally inferior to what you like, or call anyone who likes it a criminal or anything like it. Not everything you hate is “evil”, sometimes you just plain don’t like a thing and that’s ok

dateamonster:

i know this has been brought up a million times before but reblogs are so so crucial to unknown artists on social media. if you’ve enjoyed something i’ve made the best possible way you can show it, short of commissioning me, is helping to ensure my work gets out there. i don’t want to seem needy about it or anything but if i’m going to keep making things i really need to feel like the things i make are being seen.

support an artist. click reblog.

monstersinthecosmos:

While digging through my drafts just now to clear some posts out I was reminded of my habit of seeing something stupid on Tumblr and writing a vicious text post in response to roast all the idiots and douchebags and then drafting it instead of publishing it because ultimately my blog is my own space and I have the control of the tone I set, and it’s my general goal to keep it relaxed and breezy in here. (Despite what my penchant for angst might say LOL).

Common themes include:

  • That I am a Grown Ass Adult and I hate all forms of censorship.
  • I don’t have children and don’t give a fuck about other people’s children. And when I say that I am generally speaking about the purity police on tunglr dot com who are worried about all the 14 year olds lurking around. And, whoops, they’re definitely not my problem. 
  • Making me responsible for other people’s children is a step above telling me that my only use as a biological female is to make babies.
  • I especially dislike being censored and restricted for the sake of the children who do not occupy my house. (Including lists where this manifests in the Real World, outside of Tumblr, ie: rules about pot edibles, cable television, childproof drug bottles.)
  • Ranting about the cognitive dissonance of people who would typically be on the SJW side of things and don’t realize how their bullshit plays exactly into real world conservatism and how that’s uhhhhhh not good lmao. (See previous point about censorships and safeguards in the Real World, often put into place by the religious right.)
  • If one more person tries to re-victimize me by telling me which of my childhood experiences traumatized me and forbidding me to interact with them I s2g I’m gonna start breaking some jaws. (Which is funny considering that one of said experiences involved getting punched in the face so hard that it damaged the ligaments in my face and my jaw still clicks but that’s beside the point.)
  • Not to be a dick (well, only a little) but honestly like 99% of the bullshit on this site is so ideological and nonsensical and hypothetical and doesn’t fucking happen outside in the real world and a lot of your anguish would be solved if you’d just go outside and interact with real human beings who do not live in your dashboard echochamber. 

Anyway. I SAY ALL THAT TO SAY.  Just imagine a day I rant and rave about any of these topics and just go fuckin wild. Just imagine. Pretend it happened.

^AGREED WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE. I also hate all forms of censorship, especially the more recent wave of censorship under the flags of “This is Problematic” and “Romanticizes/Normalizes X.” 

I’ve been ramping up my defense of Dark Fiction, as you may have noticed. I’m not thrilled about it, but it’s a recent development. I do it because there was an attempt to shame me for Liking Bad Things and I felt that my silence was acceptance of this, and so, for those who may be too shy to defend their right to consume/create whatever tf they want, I want them to see that this blog is a citadel of support for fans who choose to like what they want to like and make/enjoy the fanworks they want to see in the world. 

I try to promote civility in the fandom and encourage the creation and sharing of fanworks. IMO, that’s the lifeblood of the fandom. It is trampling other fans when someone demands that a fan interact a certain way on the fan’s own blog, tries to shame them for liking specific characters, or tries to get that fan to leave a fandom altogether. That, to me, is one of the worst crimes in a fandom. Attempting to crush someone’s love for a fictional character or ship is divisive and unnecessary. No, we do not need to critique or examine or do anything we don’t want to. 

No one can tell you how to fandom. Please don’t let them bully you. Please don’t self-censor for them. Everyone with internet access is responsible for their own experience here, common courtesy would be tagging your posts so that they can avoid certain characters/ships/etc. If someone cannot handle your liking a fictional character, it is on them to deal with it accordingly. 

There are blogs out here that are better at wording all this than I am, I highly recommend that you check them out: @fiction-is-not-reality, @freedom-of-fanfic, @shippingisnotactivism, @shipwhateveryouwant, @who-gives-a-ship, @bitteroldfandomqueen, @restoringsanity@anti-anti-survivor, @theassholeantiarchive, @block-report-program, @yoonbum-indrag, @yourshipisfine, @history-student-against-antis@wilting-blooming@victim-that-speaks, @bai-xue, @educating-antis, @antipurity, @allships–are–goodships, @tirediscourse, @shippy-mcdiscourse, @shipping-isnt-morality, @antis-delete-your-blogs-pls, @frisk-against-antis, @himedanshi, @fuccdiskhorse, @just-antithings.

…possibly more in the notes on this post.

As I wrote on this post (OP: @pazithigallifreya), and it bears repeating: Please don’t feel like you have to literally ask anyone for permission to hold certain opinions. I’m happy to share my ideas, but they are only my ideas. I’m a random stranger on the internet! I love my followers, the interactions we’ve had, the messages you’ve sent me publicly and privately over the past few years have kept my blog alive, and I can’t thank you enough for that ❤

But! If I can just paraphrase from that post, Do not give some random stranger on the internet that much power over your mind! Don’t be so afraid of forming your own opinions that you have to ask someone else to give you opinions to hold!

Please do not become part of some random stranger on the internet’s rabble ready to crucify anyone who doesn’t do as they are told!

the-reylo-void presents: “Things I Wish I’d Understood as an Anti”

the-reylo-void:

So as most of you know, I have a more personal connection to anti-shipping than most: for about two years, I was arguably the nastiest and most vicious anti in my fandom, so much so that I gained a certain level of infamy for it. 

Starting to ship Reylo was a wakeup call the likes of which I’d never encountered before — not only did it cause me to examine my own past behavior and confront the extremely difficult revelation that I’d been the villain all along, but it also made me think about anti-shipping as a whole, and the things I wish I had understood when  I was knee-deep in that mindset. 

Things like:

1. People’s enjoyment of things that hurt you is not blithe mockery of your pain. It is not a personal slight. You are allowed to be hurt by something. You are not allowed to belittle, degrade, and shame others for interacting with it. You are not that important, and your pain is not a weapon. 

2. The moment you commit yourself to a movement devoted to hatred, you have ceded the moral high ground. You have gone to the Dark Side. You are not fighting the good fight. You are an emotional terrorist actively attempting to break people down for disagreeing with you. 

3. You also cede the right to be a victim. No one deserves to be suicide baited or doxxed, and neither do you. However, by aligning yourself with hatred, by actively harming others and laughing about it, you forfeit your right to be upset and morally outraged when you receive hate, when others comment in disagreement with your posts, when you are cast as a villain. You are not being bullied. You are receiving back just a taste of the pain you have caused others. 

4. You. Are. Miserable. You really are. Happy, fulfilled people don’t marinate themselves in hatred. They don’t drink acid and spit it at others. You’re so desperate to avoid looking at yourself and so afraid of what you’ll see there that you’re directing all of that hatred outwards. You found a group of people who like something that makes you angry, and it’s so easy to attack them, to hurt them because you’ve convinced yourself that they’re “bad” somehow and they deserve it. But it’s not about them. It’s about you. It’s about all those dark things you hear at night. It’s the fear that you’re worthless. And it’s the high you get, the ego boost every time someone cheers you on for attacking the “bad” shippers. It’s the feeling that you’re so smart, you’re so popular, you’re so loved and you’re so, so right for everything you’re doing.

But those people aren’t there for you at night. They won’t be there when your world falls apart. All that’s left is you, and your misery, and the desperate need to make someone else hurt for it because you can’t handle it. 

5. And most importantly: you’re wrong. You are wrong. Your thought process is wrong. Your behavior is wrong. Everything that you are doing as you torture and harm others and convince yourself that you’re morally justified IS. WRONG. 

One day you’re going to realize that, and you’ll choke on it. 

And if you did that a thousand times, it still wouldn’t be equal to all of the harm you caused. 

And you can distract and deflect and justify all you want. In the end, all of those people who cheered you on will be gone. Your popularity will be gone. And all you’ll have is yourself, and every ounce of misery and self-hatred you tried and failed to run from, that you drilled into others, and the realization that even though you thought you were the hero of your fandom, in reality, you were the monster you were trying so hard to protect everyone from.

nonbinarypastels:

It’s so strange how many young people on this website there are who would probably consider themselves to be progressive/liberal but who are constantly touting very conservative, reactionary, and reductive rhetoric, who balk when they’re called out on it and react violently when anyone disagrees with it.

There are so many young people who are pro-censorship to a frightening degree, happy to shame people for not meeting their impossible and subjective standards of morality, who seem to be almost incapable of thinking critically rather than in black and white, emotionally rather than factually based terms, who consider thought-crimes worse than actual actions that people take against others, and who—quite frankly—seem like they’d be absolutely thrilled to live in an Orwellian dystopia because they’re under the ironic belief that if everyone around them is corralled and controlled and forced to live lives based on what they think is pure and wholesome and good then the world will be a perfect place.

There’s such a lack of critical thinking, unwillingness to see nuance in any argument, and just a lack of the basic human understanding that people are different from one another and that one individual experience is not the end all/be all of all experiences on this site that it’s just honestly disturbing and, in many cases, basically cult-like.

And I get that this is a positivity blog and this post might not ‘fit’ here but positivity isn’t just “uwu you’re valid” text set against a pastel pink background, it’s also encouraging people to think and to act and to live in a way that is understanding of other people, to be an open-minded observer to the world and to think critically and be willing to listen and to learn, and there are many, many people on tumblr who not only do not want to do that but who happily embrace their ignorance, their hate, and their refusal to even consider that they could ever be wrong about anything even when the facts are shoved directly under their nose and…that is seriously not a good way to live as an individual and it’s an absolutely harmful impediment to any kind of community or society that people may try to build.

If you want to do something positive in your life and the lives of others and you take any piece of advice from this blog then take this: listen more and talk less, think before you react, try to understand other people and where they’re coming from even in cases where you feel like you’d rather bash your head against the wall than put yourself in their shoes, and try your absolute hardest to unlearn your black and white/all good or all evil thinking (or at least learn how to recognize it and think past it) because I promise you that it’s going to be complete poison to every single aspect of your life if you don’t.

And more than anything don’t be so utterly obsessed with yourself and your opinions and your own certainty that you’re right that you’re unable to ever listen to anyone else or even consider that you might be wrong. Everyone is wrong about something, is ignorant about someone, is an asshole at some time of the day, and you’ve absolutely fucked up the second you think you’re an exception to that.

The billy situation is a tricky one bc I’ve seen people who have suffered Abuse say they like him and say that they see his actions as a product of what Neil have done and how they may do the same thing without realising it’s wrong bc of the abuse they’ve gone through, so that reflects onto him too (I can’t remember the exact wording but) and some people say they hate Billy bc he is like their abuser.

andarthas-web:

antibillyhargrove:

yeah it’s really tough bc y’know, i do want to be there for abuse survivors but then there’s other survivors who will split my ass in two if i dare say “this blog is a safe zone for abuse survivors” where they’ll be like “you’re throwing the survivors who like billy under the bus” even though i said i’m willing to listen

To some extent, fictional characters are always a bit like getting a basic shape that is the same for everybody, but with lots of blank spaces in between to fill in. A bit like this here:

image

Thing is, every person is different.

We come from different cultures. We’re american, brazilian, german, polish….we’re from all over the world.

We’re at different stages of our lives. We are students, housewives, doctors, accountants, secretaries, cashiers…we live at home with our parents, we are parents, we’re single, married, we have kids, we don’t have kids, we’re straight or queer. Some of us are traumatized, some of us are not.

Some of us like pineapple on pizza. Some don’t.

And we bring ALL of that to the table: who we are, what we’ve experienced, what we know and what we don’t, what need to grow and learn. And it’s DIFFERENT for each and every one of us.

So once we start filling in those blanks? Even thought the base is the SAME for everybody, we still end up with completely DIFFERENT pictures:

image
image
image

And each and every one of these versions is true and valid….FOR THE PERSON WHO CREATED IT. Because it relates to THEIR experience, which is personal and subjective.

Sometimes we find common ground. Sometimes someone elses’ painting will echo our own experience, and we’ll be able to connect with them through that.

And sometimes we’ll just look at a picture and go “meh” or “ugh!”, AND THAT IS OK TOO.

So what this boils down to is this:

Some people are in a place where they draw strength from being angry at their abuser. And allowing yourself to be angry is something that some people absolutely need to do in order to process and heal from their abuse.

Other people are in a place where they need to move on to a more positive way of doing things and explore the concept of redemption and the idea of either receiving or granting forgivenness, which can be a healing experience too.

So yeah….fandom needs BOTH versions of Billy presented here.

The one that focuses on him as an abuser, the evil dragon that needs to be slain, as well as the one that focuses on him as the victim of abuse, the cursed princess who needs to be rescued.

Both have their purpose, both are needed.

Now…..all we need to learn is to respect each other and acknowledge that both versions of Billy are valid and that they can co-exist peacefully. They fill different niches, side by side.

This is not an either/or situation.

This is a BOTH kind of situation.