VC Characters as John Mulaney Quotes

Lestat: I’m really sorry about last night. It’s just that I’m really mean and loud. It probably will happen again.
Lestat (to Louis): This is an on-fire garbage can…could be a nursery.
Lestat(about Gabrielle): Gabrielle is my best friend in the world, and I give her a million kisses a day. She does not like me and barks at me and bites me all day long.
Gabrielle: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.
Louis: I was raised Catholic. I’m not sure if you can tell that from the EVERYTHING about me.
Daniel: Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.
Armand: *pointing to chest* I’ll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die.
Marius: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
David: Everybody get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.
Nicolas: I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of that exhaustion.
Claudia: I am very small, and I have no money. You can imagine the kind of stress I’m under.
Santino: We go into the church and I was like “I got this under control.” And then I got schooled because they introduced a bunch of new shit.
Khayman: Too old to be a duckling! Quack quack!

@luthi69 asked about dream cast for Santino and I have to admit that I don’t remember his story well enough to have a clear picture! 

I did recently reread QOTD and he’s in there as part of the Council to Try to Change Power Feminist Akasha’s the Queen’s Brilliant SJW Plan for World Peace. He and Armand represent the Ex-Coven Master Division.

In my #defending Antonio tag, @whiningforcenturies and/or I had this theory that they cast Antonio as Armand when in fact what they really wanted was Santino! 

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That aside… from my #Santino tag, I likes Antonio Salieri from mozart l’opéra rock (Florent Mothe):

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^YUM. I see him as dark, brooding, maybe even w/ facial hair (I don’t remember if it was specified that he has it or not but dammit I want some vampires with at least the OPTION), well-muscled and broad-shouldered and/or nice pecs *u* 

Also, and I cannot stress this enough, guyliner.

I’ll open this to everyone. Who would y’all like?