I aggressively agree with Nicki Minaj as Akasha!

IN THIS OUTFIT PLZKTHANXBAI [fanart source]

She’s almost too likable?? Look at this Disney Princess Fabulous Queen [fanart source]:

But also this [fanart source]:

“Now, listen to me, beautiful one,” she said. “I love you. You’ve awakened me from my long sleep and to my great purpose; it gives me joy merely to look at you, to see the light in your blue  eyes, and to hear the sound of your voice. It would wound me beyond your understanding of pain to see you die. But as the stars are my witness, you will aid me in my mission. Or you will be no more than the instrument for the commencement, as Judas was to Christ. And I shall destroy you as Christ destroyed Judas once your usefulness is past.” – Akasha, Queen of the Damned.

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This is how they introduce themselves at Couples Therapy Retreats, too.

The signs as horrifying/ridiculous moments in The Vampire Chronicles

Because this is needed
tw: gore; horrifying imagery.
**SOME SPOILERS AHEAD**
aries: Lestat eating Dora out on her period
taurus: Lestat getting mesmerized and lost in Walmarts
gemini: Tarquin Blackwood’s turning from drinking genital blood
cancer: Lestat describing urination for two pages
leo: LIKE 14 PAGES OF CAMEO BUTTONS
virgo: Marius ripping off Mael’s head to fix it
libra: Lestat eating Mekare’s brain through her eye socket
scorpio: LESTAT’S CLONE SON
sagittarius: Armand cutting Nicolas’ hands off
capricorn: Lestat losing an eye
aquarius: The whipping scene in The Vampire Armand
pisces: Lestat’s attempt to have sex as a human

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vampchronfic:

FOREPLAY

#BASICALLY