But like why is there still this concept that males don’t like cute mushy romantic shit and being emotionally taken care of? Just the other day I was cuddling with my boyfriend and after admiring him for awhile I told him, “Your eyes are so beautiful, they look like mini oceans” and I swear to god I heard him squeak in embarrassment and saw his cheeks actually begin to blush. Sometimes he likes being the little spoon and although I’m half his size I’m always happy to play jet pack. If he’s having a bad day he knows he can lay his head on my shoulder and just bawl his eyes out and I won’t think any less of him. Guys have emotional needs and want to feel loved and taken care of too yanno.
DO👏🏻THIS👏🏻SHIT👏🏻
And men aren’t less than men for doing things like this.
Tag Archives: advice
“A man’s appetite can be hearty, but a woman with an appetite is always voracious: her hunger always overreaches, because it is not supposed to exist. If she wants food, she is a glutton. If she wants sex, she is a slut. If she wants emotional care-taking, she is a high-maintenance bitch or, worse, an “attention whore”: an amalgam of sex-hunger and care-hunger, greedy not only to be fucked and paid but, most unforgivably of all, to be noticed.”
— Jess Zimmerman, Hunger Makes Me
Why you should draw fanfiction art
Recently I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I should continue drawing art for fanfictions. Because of my internal struggle I decided to write out all of the positives that come with drawing fanfiction art as a reminder to myself, and maybe even convince some of you artists out there to consider it in the process.
1.) They deserve it
Fanfiction writers create some amazing stories, sometimes they even create characters or worlds. These things take some serious time and skill! They spend their personal time to create free stories for your enjoyment. Creating art for them is a great kindness to fanfiction writers who have given you ten times that kindness back.
I don’t really give reviews of fanfictions. Mainly because I never know how to explain what I like about a fanfiction without giving them a ten page paper or ending up sounding like a pterodactyl. Drawing art is a great way to show your appreciation without screaming in their faces!
2.) It is great practice
Very rarely do I have something that allows me to draw demonic dolls, blushing demons, a man whose slowly breaking apart and going to space, ghost gangsters, robots with electricity sparking from them, a boy with a bloody knee blaming it on parkour, desperate hugs, two men fighting off ice cold oceans waves, the list goes on and on!
Fanfiction provides some great scenarios for art, that let me branch out and try new things. It’s a great challenge!
3.) It gives them a reason to keep writing
Do you enjoy this fanfiction writers work? Want to keep them excited about writing so that way you can see more great, high quality, work? Well boy oh boy do I have the solution for you! Fanfiction art!
Fanfiction art, at least to me, is a big way to show you care. Writers put time and effort into their pieces and you have given back something that also has time and effort put into it. Seeing that kind of support can really encourage a fanfiction writer! With fanfiction art you are showing that you deeply care about their work, that you are inspired by what they’ve done.
If that’s not a big thumbs up, I don’t know what is!
4.) Positive response
I’ve seen some fanfiction writers response to my art and let me tell you, it’s positively heart warming. The writers who I have drawn for have been so excited with the art! I don’t know about you but seeing someone who deserves something get it is super satisfying. Of all the reactions to my art, fanfiction writers reactions have been the ones I remember the most. There responses kept me smiling for days on end, it’s truly moving.
Don’t be afraid to show them your art!! Let me tell you my art is not perfect but I worked hard on those pieces that I gave those talented writers, and that is enough. It’s the thought that counts, and fanfiction writers deserve as many supportive thoughts as they can get!
As a fanfiction writer, I’ve been very fortunate to receive some beautiful pieces, and some funny pieces, from readers who spent their valuable time creating art of my story, especially my OC.
There are not enough words to express the feeling I get when I see that someone enjoyed my writing enough to create art about it. It’s the ultimate compliment and should never be taken for granted. It’s inspiring and it’s refreshing to see your characters and your story through someone else’s eyes. Sometimes these pieces influence your writing and influence the creation of new scenes.
If you create something based off of a fanfic you’ve read I highly recommend that you share it with the author. Rough, sketched, polished…doesn’t matter. Your piece of work may be the only compliment, comment, or positive reinforcement they’ve received in a while. Trust me, your writer loves it. And sometimes, they need it.
The stages of someone sending me unexpected art based on my fic:
- Cry (no really; actual tears from my eyes–THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS).
- Internally freak out. Externally freak out (usually involves a lot of bouncing in chair.)
- Show someone. Usually husband. Often cat. You know that picture of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith where he’s like “LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE?” – I’m like that. Only “LOOK AT WHAT SOME BEAUTIFUL PERSON HAS DONE.”
- Reblog art usually accompanied by excessive use of caps lock and/or exclamation points. (!!!)
- Have exceedingly warm happy feeling for days, renewed up every time art is remembered.
- Save on computer; look at art every time sad, discouraged, in need of inspiration.
- Basically never stop being amazed at how wonderful people are.
Whenever people have made art of my fanfics I’ve just… completely lost the ability to think for the rest of the day. It’s so incredibly overwhelming that someone to take the time to put effort and talent – their amazing, glorious talent – into making something based off things that I, stupid little me, wrote.
Truly, fanart of fanfic is the best gift.
THIIIISSS^^^^
This!
(I love anything people want to do based on my stuff, of course – podfic, remixes (with permission/credit), art, translations: YES YES YES OH WOW YOU LIKED IT THAT MUCH LET ME ADORE YOU)
so very true, i have cried literal tears and squealed. it’s an amazing delightful gift. ❤
My friend told me a story he hadn’t told anyone for years. When he used to tell it years ago people would laugh and say, ‘Who’d believe that? How can that be true? That’s daft.’ So he didn’t tell it again for ages. But for some reason, last night, he knew it would be just the kind of story I would love.
When he was a kid, he said, they didn’t use the word autism, they just said ‘shy’, or ‘isn’t very good at being around strangers or lots of people.’ But that’s what he was, and is, and he doesn’t mind telling anyone. It’s just a matter of fact with him, and sometimes it makes him sound a little and act different, but that’s okay.
Anyway, when he was a kid it was the middle of the 1980s and they were still saying ‘shy’ or ‘withdrawn’ rather than ‘autistic’. He went to London with his mother to see a special screening of a new film he really loved. He must have won a competition or something, I think. Some of the details he can’t quite remember, but he thinks it must have been London they went to, and the film…! Well, the film is one of my all-time favourites, too. It’s a dark, mysterious fantasy movie. Every single frame is crammed with puppets and goblins. There are silly songs and a goblin king who wears clingy silver tights and who kidnaps a baby and this is what kickstarts the whole adventure.
It was ‘Labyrinth’, of course, and the star was David Bowie, and he was there to meet the children who had come to see this special screening.
‘I met David Bowie once,’ was the thing that my friend said, that caught my attention.
‘You did? When was this?’ I was amazed, and surprised, too, at the casual way he brought this revelation out. Almost anyone else I know would have told the tale a million times already.
He seemed surprised I would want to know, and he told me the whole thing, all out of order, and I eked the details out of him.
He told the story as if it was he’d been on an adventure back then, and he wasn’t quite allowed to tell the story. Like there was a pact, or a magic spell surrounding it. As if something profound and peculiar would occur if he broke the confidence.
It was thirty years ago and all us kids who’d loved Labyrinth then, and who still love it now, are all middle-aged. Saddest of all, the Goblin King is dead. Does the magic still exist?
I asked him what happened on his adventure.
‘I was withdrawn, more withdrawn than the other kids. We all got a signed poster. Because I was so shy, they put me in a separate room, to one side, and so I got to meet him alone. He’d heard I was shy and it was his idea. He spent thirty minutes with me.
‘He gave me this mask. This one. Look.
‘He said: ‘This is an invisible mask, you see?
‘He took it off his own face and looked around like he was scared and uncomfortable all of a sudden. He passed me his invisible mask. ‘Put it on,’ he told me. ‘It’s magic.’
‘And so I did.
‘Then he told me, ‘I always feel afraid, just the same as you. But I wear this mask every single day. And it doesn’t take the fear away, but it makes it feel a bit better. I feel brave enough then to face the whole world and all the people. And now you will, too.
‘I sat there in his magic mask, looking through the eyes at David Bowie and it was true, I did feel better.
‘Then I watched as he made another magic mask. He spun it out of thin air, out of nothing at all. He finished it and smiled and then he put it on. And he looked so relieved and pleased. He smiled at me.
‘’Now we’ve both got invisible masks. We can both see through them perfectly well and no one would know we’re even wearing them,’ he said.
‘So, I felt incredibly comfortable. It was the first time I felt safe in my whole life.
‘It was magic. He was a wizard. He was a goblin king, grinning at me.
‘I still keep the mask, of course. This is it, now. Look.’
I kept asking my friend questions, amazed by his story. I loved it and wanted all the details. How many other kids? Did they have puppets from the film there, as well? What was David Bowie wearing? I imagined him in his lilac suit from Live Aid. Or maybe he was dressed as the Goblin King in lacy ruffles and cobwebs and glitter.
What was the last thing he said to you, when you had to say goodbye?
‘David Bowie said, ‘I’m always afraid as well. But this is how you can feel brave in the world.’ And then it was over. I’ve never forgotten it. And years later I cried when I heard he had passed.’
My friend was surprised I was delighted by this tale.
‘The normal reaction is: that’s just a stupid story. Fancy believing in an invisible mask.’
But I do. I really believe in it.
And it’s the best story I’ve heard all year.
Paul Magrs (via yourfluffiestnightmare)
We read in bed because reading is halfway between life and dreaming, our own consciousness in someone else’s mind.
Anna Quindlen, How Reading Changed My Life
(via books-n-quotes)
(via books-n-quotes)
Give me someone who has some fucked up tastes in fiction, but is kind and respectful to real people, over someone who only ever ships the healthiest ships and stans the purest characters, but is rude and cruel to real people, any day of the week.
Your goddamn fictional preferences don’t show what kind of person you are; your actions do.
It’s not a hard concept to grasp.
All the people I’ve met who ship hardcore mindgames/ abuse/ sex-pollen/ noncon/ chan/ cross-generation/ torture fic… are absolute sweethearts who will go out of their way to help other fen, who will support others going through crises, who will tell people, “that relationship sounds abusive – here’s what you can do to get out, and if you’re not willing to give up on it, here’s the techniques you can use to claim the space you need within it.”
It’s almost like reading abusive filth about corrupt perverts gives you a sense of awareness of where the lines should be, and how important it is for people to be compassionate to each other – because we understand what kind of things can happen when people are not.
That.
I’ve had the same experience. And honestly – I’ve mentioned this before, but when I was younger, some of the most important conversations I had about what consent is or what abuse looks like came out of fandom, and specifically, discussions around pieces of fanfic. These weren’t conversations I was having at home, or with my IRL friends, and they sure as hell weren’t conversations I was getting through school.
Wow, it’s almost like reading and talking about fiction plays a crucial role in exploring ideas and moral questions. 🙂
I also know fans who are there solely for the sweetest and healthiest of fluff who are absolutely wonderful people. But the small subset who believe that anything that is not Cinnamon-Roll Pure is not just something they want to avoid, but something that should not be allowed to exist – I’m wary of those folks, specifically because of that black-and-white approach. It seems it’s a short distance from, “Your ships must be the purest of the pure, or else they are Bad,” to, “Your ships must be the purest of the pure, or else YOU are Bad.”
Is it just me, or are most people in the VC fandom women? (Not saying I mind, I’m just legit curious if and why.)
(Reminder: I am/was not a gender studies major, nor a student of fandom. This is just an entertainment blog and all that follows is my opinion only.)
This is a highly sensitive topic that people study academically for many fandoms, and I will hardly do it justice here. But I felt it was important to share what I can, anyway. Some links are under the cut for further reading about this topic, even though they do not apply to VC fandom specifically.
The short answer is that, from my experience, yes, most ppl in the VC fandom seem to be women. This is based on the past 20 years of AR’s booksignings I’ve attended, online communities, interviews/articles over the years, AR’s FB (her own posts + comments from her People of the Page), and AR’s Twitter. However, I would add that she absolutely does have fans who are men, NB, agender, genderqueer, transgender, etc. It would be difficult to do a thorough demographic study of all of her fans (current/past/specific time period(s)/etc.), so I wouldn’t know what portion of the fanbase is made up of women.
Let’s take a brief look at our superfan from movie!IWTV:
^What is superfan thinking? Does she think Santiago is a REAL VAMPIRE? Does she want to die? … or, is she simply a groupie of that media and enjoying it as a fantasy situation? We don’t get her backstory in the movie, so we may never know.
^Santiago has had to deal with hecklers and admirers for years so he’s not really fazed by her disrupting his show, and when he shuts her offer down, it draws a laugh from the audience. Laugh at the fan who confessed her love for the fantasy of it all and offered herself as tribute.
Before we specify why women are in VC fandom, one thing to consider is What is fandom? In my opinion, it’s a group of people who are drawn to a shared space bc of a shared interest in specific media. Within that, you still have to reach out to individuals in order to become friends. You don’t necessarily have to agree on every aspect of the media you each enjoy, but having chemistry certainly helps. Participating in fandom can also mean creating/consuming fanworks without having any personal connection with other fans. Sometimes it’s just in posting fic and/or leaving kudos. Some join a skype chat group so that they focus primarily on their personal connections with other fans. It’s a wide spectrum and there are different ways to engage with other fans within a fandom.
Why VC fandom? We all have our reasons for being in VC fandom. I would prefer not to speak for other fans as to their reasons, but everyone is welcome to respond in the comments/reblogs of this post, or message me on/off anon, and I might gather up those responses and add them to this post.
Why I was drawn to VC:
Personally, I’m a woman, and I’m in this fandom bc the canon/fanon is intellectually stimulating to me. I’ve made some of my best friends here. We share a love for these characters and we discuss them at length. This does not mean we 100% support everything the characters do in canon. We enjoy them as fictional characters, not necessarily as role models.
Secondly… I had posted a personal account about my reasons for being into VC canon, but later deleted that post bc I was informed that my reasons weren’t acceptable. That VC was not for straight women. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’ll briefly tell you my reasons for being attached to VC, under the cut.
Brief historical context:
These books are/were written by a straight white woman, and she’s always advised her fans to “write the book you want to read.” She currently writes for herself, presumably, as she does not use an editor in the traditional sense. She began VC in the early 1970s with the short story, “The Master of Rampling Gate” (which eventually became the full novel IWTV). The short story was published in Redbook magazine at the time, which is/was a magazine for women, and the short story was written in the vein (pun intended!) of the older gothic romance novels that were extremely popular in the ‘60s.
^In fact, this edition of IWTV is straight-baiting, as the only female love interest that Louis might have gotten into that physical position with would be Babette, and that… definitely doesn’t happen.
IWTV is a dissection of Louis’ feelings, and Louis was a stand-in for Anne herself. VC in general has a lot of emotion, both in the dialogue, and the introspection woven into the narrative itself. The fact that these books are mostly written from the 1st person perspective is a very intimate means of communication to the reader, and makes the novels that much more emotionally rich. Some might say that such emotional writing tends to appeal to women.
The books are intimate. There is a constant thread of intimacy throughout which seems to appeal to women of all sexual orientations, in my opinion. I started the series with IWTV when I was 11 yrs old and I’ve heard from other fans of other genders that they also started VC when they were young, even around the age that I did. Being right before puberty, maybe that adds some extra addictive quality to it, that it explores a kind of intimacy when we’re in the phase of life where we’re just becoming interested in sexuality. I remember mooning over pics of Brad Pitt in my table group at lunch, and we would talk about him, but I doubt any of us would have wanted to actually kiss him at the time, we just wanted to speculate about dating and romance!
After the first book, the intimacy continues with TVL, where we get Lestat’s backstory, and as the series progresses, it just keeps going. Whichever book new VC fans enter the series, they’re going to hit that vein, more or less. It’s not as strong in the most current books, but it’s still there. I would say that AR found that the way she wrote the first 2 books was so well-received that she felt validated in her style of writing, that it was appealing to her readers, and continued to produce it.
There’s also quite a lot of wealthporn, where the characters describe their expensive clothes, jewelry, or lavish surroundings, none of them have to hold a dayjob or anything menial like that. Since many of us do not currently enjoy such luxuries of material goods and/or freedom of leisure time, it’s another element that might make it appealing to certain demographics. There’s a ton of wish fulfillment in the books.
Hit the jump for a little more.
My reasons for being into VC
Basically, I was bullied when I was 11 (for having a bad fashion sense and bad teeth), which is right around the time that someone gave me a copy of IWTV. I had always loved horror novels and scary stories as a way to study monsters and see if I could unpack them and better understand them. I drew inspiration from the way the VC characters handled their own obstacles, I loved getting Lestat’s backstory, he was not just a colorful antagonist, he had his own reasons for acting the way he did. Reasons are not EXCUSES, but in understanding monstrous behavior, we can equip ourselves to weather it when we see it in real life. Eventually, I got braces, grew out of my 90′s grunge phase, and while the bullies changed form over time, I learned how to deal with them.
Could I have drawn inspiration from other books/movies/music? Yes! And I did. But VC, for the intimacy of the stories, for the vibrancy of the characters, for so many reasons that I can’t go into on a post I’m trying to keep brief… this is a piece of media that I’ve held onto over the years. Not the only one, but certainly the main one, for me.
A few good posts to check out re: women in fandom:
And I don’t mean to attack you, Anon, but these posts are written with a tone because there is so much criticism of what women in fandom are not allowed to enjoy. Please read at your own risk, but they have some very good points about why women might be into certain things in fandom.
Like blood magic?? Putting stuff from yourself into a character?
More like trying to create a version of the character in your head, using your memories and hopes and dreams and thoughts and imagination, and then seeing what happens if you ask that character a question or place them in a stressful situation. How they behave isn’t necessarily how you’d behave. But it’s based on parts of yourself.
I-want-my-IWTV 