13bels:

fareed should make some long-lasting blood flavored gum like i bet lestat would love to pop it in the face of the trick asf bitch who tried telling him what to do

it would be like, silent in the court hall, and you just hear two ppl having a gum-smacking competition and it’s Armand and Lestat metaphorically having a dick waving contest—it’s just the most obnoxious thing ever

and Louis would take Lestat’s pack bc the noise bothers him when he’s trynna chill with a book or just think, but then he gets curious and tries one and realizes it staves off hunger pretty well (not that that bothers him much anymore, but still, it can be a long walk from the château to human-populated areas) and he takes up the habit too, except he doesn’t pop his gum bc he’s a gentleman

and Fareed, having contributed so much to these blood suckers, ends up financially balling and manages to overthrow Lestat’s monarchy bc Capitalism™.