thats a valid question

A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5′1″ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week that’s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years.

1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000

But that’s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well?

The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood.

Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml).

So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times.

Thus, Jesus’ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33.

How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count.

Osnap what an excellent question.

Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter.

4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds.

Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change.


Full Metal Eucharist

The Unholy Union of Catholic Tumblr and Math Tumblr

This is one of those posts I will absolutely email to every pastor I know.

things I’d send to my grandpa if I thought he had a sense of humor. 


Louis feasting on a succulent rat while looking like the saddest vampire in all the world

I like this as an Aesthetic post and will reblog separately w/o commentary but you hit one of my #vampire physiology buttons, so let me add:

I gotta redo the math on how many rats Louis would have had to consume on a nightly basis. I did it once or twice and it was ridiculous. Bc if you calculate:

I) People blood needed for a fledgling vampire:

  • I can’t remember where it’s mentioned in TVL, but I’m p sure that Lestat killed 3 ppl/night (full grown adult humans) as a fledgling*, and that’s 1.2 to 1.5 gallons of blood per person.** 
  • So that’s 1.35 gallons x 3 = 4.05 gallons of blood. PER NIGHT.

II) Rat blood needed for a fledgling vampire:

  • One New York City rat (the biggest city rat I can think of atm) was found weighing in at 675 grams. 7% of that is blood, so that’s 47.5 grams of blood per rat.
  • I used an online converter to calculate that 4.05 gallons = 15330.9 grams.
  • 15330.9 grams (total blood needed) ÷ 47.5 grams (1 rat) = 322.75 rats.

III) Conclusion:

‘You’re not you when you’re hungry’

LIKE. I don’t think Louis was chomping on over 300 rats per night, which leads me to conclude that:

  • I am a lazy potato, I don’t think I could even unwrap and eat 300 candybars in one sitting, even if they were in a big pile right next to me on the couch and I had the stomach capacity for it. He had to chase each one of these things down and bite them individually, they’re not capri-sun packs (tho, those still take the effort of pushing a straw into), 
  • So he probably didn’t want to do that 300 times a night, 
  • So he probably didn’t actually get the volume he required on a nightly basis, 
  • If you cut it down by half, like 150 rats, he had to have been killing SOME larger animals like dogs/cats/etc. to make up for the difference.
  • And that malnourishment added to the crap he was already dealing with. I’m cranky when I’m hungry. It certainly doesn’t help when you’re already under extreme duress from your daily nightly situation aside from the sustenance aspect.

ANYWAY Thank you for coming to my TedTalk on why Louis was malnourished for the first few years of his vampiring.


(Asterisked stuff under the cut.)

*1 of 2: By IWTV-era, Louis says Lestat killed 2-3 a night, a 10 yr old vampire might already need less than a fresh fledgling but *handwaves*

it’s so nebulous so idk.

“Lestat killed humans all the
time, sometimes two or three a night, sometimes more.”

*2 of 2: Plus, consider that this might be less than for a “normal” fledgling, bc Magnus was an older vampire and *handwaves* you know, that means he himself feeds less often, so one could assume a fledgling from that vintage blood would also need less, but it’s so nebulous so idk. MEANING that Louis, being Lestat’s 3rd fledgling in less than 10 years would mean that, being of “weaker stock,” he might need more blood on a nightly basis as a fledgling.

**”An average adult body with a weight of 150 to 180 pounds will contain approximately 4.7 to 5.5 liters (1.2 to 1.5 gallons) of blood.” –


Stephen Hawking, January 8, 1942 – March 14, 2018

Born 300 years to the day after Galileo died 

Died on Albert Einstein’s birthday 

March 14: Annual Pi day (π)  

“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny” – S.H.









Here are some scientific facts about blood loss for all you psychopaths writers out there.

This is actually very nice. I like the soda bottles as reference. (I remember when I was writing ‘Wizards of Ceres’ how I had to do a similar soda-bottle conversion to try to work out how much blood Fai could drink from Kurogane without killing him.)

On  the topic of vampires incidentally, this basically means that there is no reason why feeding from someone should necessitate killing them, unless the vamp can chug two soda bottles worth of liquid in one go or carelessly leaves the bottle open when they’re done

@fieldofclover thought this might come in handy for, you know, vampirey things

Ooh, I like this! The bottles as a reference makes it quite easy to picture mentally – especially since, having previously experienced just how much mess a litre-bottle spilt on the floor actually makes, it gives a better idea of volume etc.

Incidentally, as a frequent blood donor myself (thank you, haemochromatosis), and thus being more aware of the volume of blood donated at each session (the average appears to be 450ml, or 0.45 litres per blood bag filled) and needing to know how long it takes red blood cells and plasma to recover after donation–

about 24 hours for plasma, and up to 8 weeks for red blood cells themselves, which is why the average length between donations is 12 weeks, to ensure the body is well recovered by the next donation (which is also why I was so fucking tired after having to donate once a month for the first three months of my treatment)

– I ended up doing a bit of reading re: blood loss, but this really is the best imagery for it I’ve seen without bogging down into too much science stuff.

Other crucially important facts relevant to vampire porn I have learned: 

  • yes, you can get an erection after donating blood, as the body generally maintains blood pressure equilibrium even if the volume of red blood cells per liquid ml is lower, though if you lose anything more than half a litre you’re probably gonna find it a bit difficult; 
  • erythropoietin is a funky chemical involved in converting stem cells to red blood cells which your body produces when you need more of ‘em, so if we’re going with the standard ‘vampire saliva is an anticoagulant and narcotic stimulant, and/or induces arousal’ conceit, it probably makes sense that said saliva introduces a similar compound into the human blood stream in the post-feeding stage to encourage their food to recover quickly for a repeat feeding, usually while licking the wounds left behind;
  • your vamp is probably gonna have a really full belly if they try and drink more than the average 450ml or so in one sitting. Blood is quite a bit thicker than water or soft drink; it’s more like drinking a hearty broth or soup. Can you imagine attempting to chug a litre of pressurised soup as it squirts into your mouth with considerable force? No thanks!

tl;dr the science behind blood loss is fascinating, especially in a vampire context, and the government agencies monitoring my search history probably think I’m a serial killer

@audreycritter was it you who was looking this up for a fic last week?

if your vampire’s killing folks, it’s because they left a couple of great big spurting holes in a jugular, not because they actually drank all their blood. we gotta stop having the scene where the detective says the victim was ‘completely drained of blood’ unless there were like 5 vamps involved.

or if your vamp goes waddling away with a bloated tummy like a milk-drunk kitten, that could work too.



fareed should make some long-lasting blood flavored gum like i bet lestat would love to pop it in the face of the trick asf bitch who tried telling him what to do

it would be like, silent in the court hall, and you just hear two ppl having a gum-smacking competition and it’s Armand and Lestat metaphorically having a dick waving contest—it’s just the most obnoxious thing ever

and Louis would take Lestat’s pack bc the noise bothers him when he’s trynna chill with a book or just think, but then he gets curious and tries one and realizes it staves off hunger pretty well (not that that bothers him much anymore, but still, it can be a long walk from the château to human-populated areas) and he takes up the habit too, except he doesn’t pop his gum bc he’s a gentleman

and Fareed, having contributed so much to these blood suckers, ends up financially balling and manages to overthrow Lestat’s monarchy bc Capitalism™.



Milosav Druckmüller is, hands down, the greatest eclipse photographer in the world. Fact.

i literally just teared up this is so amazing and gorgeous and surreal wow





I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed


Also let yourself cry. It really is a biochemical release valve to dump out all the chemicals that make you feel stuff.

I honestly think one reason men in western culture have so many problems is that we don’t let them cry, and literally their brains get stuffed with all this crap that doesn’t have a release valve. Men, please cry. You’ll feel better. It’s ok. You are not lesser for taking care of your health.

This is why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things. 

Happy tears are structurally different than sad tears than angry tears than overwhelmed tears etc.

“Do you know what I think about crying? I think some people have to learn to do it. But once you learn, once you know how to really cry, there’s nothing quite like it. I feel sorry for those who don’t know the trick. It’s like whistling or singing.” 

– Lestat de Lioncourt, Memnoch the Devil  





Fun Vampire Fact; the reason that Vampires traditionally cannot see their reflections in a mirror is because mirrors used to be backed with a reflective layer of silver — which, as the metal of purity, would not ‘interact’ with Vampires, who are the Devil’s work.

However, modern mirrors have used aluminum as their reflective backing for many years now — and aluminum is not a ‘picky’ metal at all. So Vampires are able to see their reflections in modern mirrors.

All I can think about is a vampire used to not seeing their reflection in mirrors for centuries, and one day they are just walking along and unknowingly pass a mirror backed with aluminum and THEY NEARLY SHIT THEMSELVES.


“Which means now I’m imagining hair dying parties with other vampires cause they can’t see what they’re doing in the mirror. ” wasn’t that whole no reflection thing because they used to use silver for mirrors? they stopped doing that at some point so then vamps should be able to see themselves, right?

Yes, if you buy this post right here, (which I do, and I’m also going to rebagel it bc why haven’t I yet? Maybe it’s buried in the queue…), in which @gojiro informs us that:

“…mirrors used to be backed with a reflective layer of silver — which, as the metal of purity, would not ‘interact’ with Vampires, who are the Devil’s work. However, modern mirrors have used aluminum as their reflective backing for many years now — and aluminum is not a ‘picky’ metal at all…”


So yes you may headcanon Armand as winning the Ugly Sweater Contest by standing in front of Lestat w/ a mirror as shown above by @superhiki!

…but I also really like the “hair dying parties with other vampires cause they can’t see what they’re doing in the mirror.” which still works for the vampires of What We Do in the Shadows, who live in the modern era, and can’t see their reflection in mirrors (but they can see it in photographs, IDK I JUST REALLY LIKE THE DYE PARTY IDEA so as Tim Gunn would say, “Make it work.”)