glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

-Scope out your options ahead of time, long before tshirt weather arrives. Advance planning is a must!

-Find somebody who inspires you and has their shit together. It’ll make for a much easier transition into a new lifestyle when you take over their body. Highjacking the body of someone who lives paycheck to paycheck is only recommended for very experienced bodysnatchers with background in method acting.

-Chose adults. Bodysnatching children under the age of 16 is often considered bad form. Ethics aside, children are often closely monitored for behavioral changes and allowed less freedom than adults, making them unsuitable candidates. Although the idea of reduced responsibilities and being taken care of is appealing to many would-be bodysnatchers, the costs quickly outweigh the benefits, and many lazy snatchers report being forced into soccer practice and other tedious after school activities.

-Parents with young children and other dependents should also be avoided. You will arouse a lot of suspicion if you suddenly fail in your responsibilities as caretaker and may attract serious legal trouble if found negligent.

-By extension, be very careful about pets. There have been reports of dogs and some cats apparently detecting their owners’ mental intruders. Dangerous and/or exotic animals may pose special needs that inexperienced bodysnatchers will be unable to meet.

-College students can be very good targets for beginners. Not only do they often have meal plans, easy access to parties, and some social cushioning, but they’re away from home and expected to be going through major personal changes. No one’s going to notice if they suddenly become someone else. Most importantly, many college students are stressed to the point that they welcome possession as a release from academic and personal responsibilities. This can lead to a very satisfying arrangement for both parties. While it is certainly preferable to make actual effort in the school, it is also possible to coast by for a semester and then jump into a new host during summer or winter vacation. Some bodysnatchers have spent many happy years simply jumping between college freshmen.

-Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse! Nothing is more awkward than botching your ritual. Make sure you have all your supplies and can clearly and accurately recite the incantation. Mispronunciations and expired ingredients can lead to unexpected and sometimes dangerous consequences – one infamous example is of Arthur Welch, a minor Australian occultist who accidentally invited the consciousness of his target’s pet cane toad into his own mind and was unable to rid himself of the unwanted mental companion. Although Welch was eventually able to bring his condition under control, he had to be institutionalized during breeding season each year for the rest of his natural life.

Additionally: it is not advisable to try to bodysnatch celebrities. This is for several reasons. Firstly, they are under intense public scrutiny and frequently have less control over their lives than you might think. Aberrant behavior or a dramatic drop in talent will absolutely be noticed in short order. Secondly, you will have fierce competition. When everyone is trying to be John Malkovich, you will be up against the most elite bodysnatchers. In recent years, celebrity bodysnatching has become a kind of sport, in which there are no referees. These ‘territorial disputes’ have claimed lives, so unless you are prepared for mental warfare, it is best to avoid possessing public figures. (Side note: there are prolific rumors claiming that there are no big name celebrities who are inhabited by their original hosts, and have simply been cycled through generations of champion bodysnatchers) Finally, many canny celebrities and government officials have established mental security systems which can cause devastating psychic injury. While there are ways to circumvent these systems, there are new methods constantly in development – a psychic arms race, if you will. Ronald Reagan was known for having an especially deadly anti-possession system, which, though now obsolete, caused the utter mental decimation of no less than sixteen would-be bodysnatchers. 

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