How do you deal with the crippling “emptyness” the lonliness? My life was moving at 90 miles an hour and it seemed as if it came to a complete halt because of personal reasons. Maybe if I became one of you I’d heal and and feel useful once again.

January 9, 2017 iwantmyiwtv Leave a comment

(ooc; Not sure how serious you are, but, Reminder: if you have already taken something or done something to harm yourself please call 911. If you haven’t done anything and if you’re thinking about suicide, please talk to the suicide hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) in the U.S., to find a suicide helpline outside the U.S., visit IASP or Suicide.org. Please read Suicide Help.)

♛My dear, I’m so sorry to read this message. My heart aches for you.

[X by @gifsfortc]

There are times when yes, the loneliness overtakes me. I do feel emptiness at times, moreso in those times I was betrayed by the ones closest to me. Not to revisit that… but the emptiness you are describing seems to be a deeper one than what I experienced. Again, my heart aches for you.

Sometimes solitude is needed, just to get to know myself once again, so that I can return to my loved ones.

Because that’s really the answer, at least for me, time spent with your loved ones has healing properties. Do you have any pets? Or know anyone who does? I’ve found that rolling around with a sizable dog (or several!) can also cure me of many of these gutwrenching feelings, those insidious negative voices that creep in. The healing power of dog cuddles may not be complete but it is still substantial.

If you don’t have anyone you can go to, there are professionals out there who can help. One group is called the

Samaritans.

The Dark Gift is not, generally, a quick fix. You bring yourself with you, and all your own experiences, all your own baggage. It enhances who you already are, for better or worse. I found that out with my beloved Nicki. Knowing what I know now about him, would I still give him the Dark Gift? I desperately want to say yes, but I don’t think it “fixed” him. Not by a long shot. It made him into another version of himself. Purified him. It seemed to release him from his life-long act of being a civilized person, which he detested.

In the absence of everything else I’ve suggested, one other cure: Stories. Read. Watch movies. Listen to music. Eat your favorite foods. Read my first book again, and see how I dealt with obstacle after obstacle, take inspiration from my example. Or, and I can’t believe I’m suggesting this: read Louis’ book. Know that he experienced similar feelings to yours. He survived it.

You are not alone. Get the help you need, or cure yourself, or both! Validate yourself if no one else will. Care for yourself as if you were your own best friend. There were so many times when that’s all I could do for myself, for years. Decades, even. If I had given up, at any of those times, I would not be here to offer you this: I survived. So can you.

Handsome Prince, How do you really feel about Sybelle, is she really as eccentric as described in the books? I feel she is a shy, misunderstood young woman.

January 8, 2017 iwantmyiwtv Leave a comment

♛My first impression of Sybelle was her waking me from my slumber with her passionate renditions of the Appassionata. I might have awoken then without it, but I can’t help but feel that her music was necessary; it pulled me, those fierce notes the only thing that penetrated the thick darkness where I was. I still ask her to play it now and then, and it reminds me of that rescue, whether intentional or not on her part.

[X Ramón Nuñez @Ramon_N90 #viaCurioos]

I have not had the pleasure to get to know Sybelle as much as I’d like to. She is not much for conversation. She’ll converse with music, and I have played duets with her, on guitar along with her.

Eccentric… Who’s not eccentric in our coven? *laughs* Who’s not misunderstood? I will say that she’s not as concerned by her surroundings as you might think she would be, she likes it when Armand or Benji tie her hair back for her, even though she is capable of doing so herself. She seems to carry an old soul and a child’s enthusiasm at the same time; she can be thrilled by little things like playing Tetris on an old Gameboy, and yet, she asks for very little outside of her piano, and her privacy. She has few possessions… keeps her jewelry in plastic bags in a shoe box! Benji’s idea, as the necklaces would tangle otherwise.

I am learning more about Sybelle with every interaction. One thing is for sure, she makes a fine addition to our coven, and I am glad to have her with us.

[^//ooc: Just try and tell me that Valentina Lisitsa isn’t basically Sybelle, just look at her! She’s just older.]

//ooc: So, Sybelle! A rare one for ppl to ask about and rarely chosen for RP. I remember there was @sybelle-the-appassionata, but it looks like they’re pword protected and/or on hiatus. There was also @play-the-appassionata, looks inactive now, but their archive might have smtg for you! Antoine RPer @antoineandthepiano may have thoughts re: Sybelle for you.

For more on Sybelle, try my #sybelle and #the vampire sybelle tags. There’s a little fanart, cosplay, some meta by other ppl, some mentions of Benji (since he’s kind of part of her package deal!) and spoilers.

Hey Lestat I really need some advice… I accidentally didn’t give my dad a Christmas gift idk what happened I just ran out of time I didn’t know what to do and he called me out on it. Omg I feel like the worlds worst daughter. A total piece of shit. He wasn’t mad, just made me feel worse and now it’s just too late and I feel so horrible. We are really close, he got us concert tickets and I did nothing and rn I just want to dig a hole in the earth like Gabrielle so I can go to sleep for 10 years

January 5, 2017 iwantmyiwtv Leave a comment

♛My dear anonyme, this is not such a terrible crime.

You yourself are a gift to your father, and if he fails to see that, well, that’s his loss. Especially with how contrite you sound and how close you claim you are with him; the fact that he doesn’t take all that into account and allows you to feel like “the

worlds worst daughter” and “a total piece of shit” for such a minor transgression… not very fatherly behavior. Does such a person deserve a reward for that?

All of my fledglings, each in their own way, were gifts to me just by being themselves and my time with them was always far more valuable than any physical gift they could give. Seeing them blossom… being proud of them… knowing that they were made of the same material as myself, existing in this mystery with me, all that and more, those are the gifts that mean the most. …Even when they hate me, fight with me, and even try to kill me, seeing that ferocity in them still stirs in me a kind of thrill!

Don’t get this man a physical gift just because he’s thrown a tantrum over your not doing so. The concert should have been a gift from him of spending time together, not just his financial burden, which is how it seems he’s treating it.

Show him that you are the gift by doing something with him. Share a meal with him, play a card game with him, do some activity you both enjoy. If I was your father, that’s what I would have preferred anyway.

To Lestat: Guess what? I’ve worked for an entire year on a story about a lovely vampiress who falls for a beautiful young woman, and I was heavily inspired by you and Louis. Thanks for the inspiration!

January 4, 2017 iwantmyiwtv Leave a comment

♛I am so pleased, ma chère. True love knows no gender limitations. And we can always use more characters inspired by my relationship with Louis. I’m not revealing anything new when I say it’s no walk in the park but it’s absolutely worth fighting for. Constantly. For centuries! *tosses laptop aside and pounces on Louis for kisses*

[X]

^//ooc: Yes, Lestat recycled this answer, and you may be the same anon who said smtg similar before, but in the time since then, he has gotten a ton of fresh followers who haven’t seen this lovely response and even lovelier picture! So he is somewhat sorry to recycle, but it’s like a fancy jacket, why can’t he wear it again? *u*

Dearest Lestat, I’m Remington. It’s a pleasure to message you. I turned 23 today (December 29th) and I was hoping if I could please have a shout out from you?

December 30, 2016 iwantmyiwtv Leave a comment

♛Bon anniversaire, mon chéri! You have been so loyal and caring to me for so long… what a sweetheart, it means so much to me. I hope you celebrate your life well, with your loved ones, and fall asleep satisfied and exhausted from it all *blows a kiss*

Lestat I need some advice. My cousin (who is very close to me) is currently in jail. We don’t know if she really murdered someone, or if she was only an accessory. She wants me to write her letters while shes there. However, I dont know if I should. While she and I are close she is scary and I don’t want the letters to be something that tells her that what she did was okay. What do I do?

December 29, 2016 iwantmyiwtv Leave a comment

♛Do the thing! Why not write to her? If you’re so close with your cousin, I can tell you that visits and letters can mean the world to someone who is otherwise cut off from it, whether by their own choice or not.

Perhaps what she did was in fact “okay” given her circumstances at the time. Could have been self-defense, or defense of someone who needed it. You might consider drawing out more of the facts in your letters with her.

Whether she’s scary or not, and whatever her level of guilt, if you care about her, keep the connection. You can always stop when you have more information.

Dearest Lestat, I was just watching Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast” and I noticed that the Beast’s human form looks an awful lot like you. What do you think?

December 28, 2016 iwantmyiwtv Leave a comment

♛I would say that the resemblance is uncanny… in more ways than one. Yes, budding youth, handsome, blue eyes and blond hair. Even the expression in the painted portrait we see of Prince Adam is a familiar expression of mine *winks*

I relate deeply to that story. If I’m the Beast, and I’m constantly swooning over Louis’s slightest glance at me, does that make him Beauty? Probably.

As much as I do praise myself (and others do, as well!) to the high heavens for my looks… Being at home in my own body has been, and still is, a constant a struggle. It’s a love-hate relationship with the mirror. As often as I say it, the impact remains the same: my reflection has startled me on more than one occasion, it’s depressed me, it’s made me almost lose the will to live. There were times that I couldn’t look in a mirror. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on my worst enemy.

There is a real horror in what we are, hosts to a vampiric parasite. That moment of awakening, that first breath after the change. Beautiful and monstrous all in one. And each time I survive something and my reflection shows me something close to what I was before all this happened, that’s a small comfort.