♛This is a true confession, in the sense of a longing to reveal it to the one you care about. Strange, isn’t it, that there are different kinds of love, and that we can feel it for our friends as intensely as for our lovers?

Best friends are family members who we choose, and want to keep in our lives. It seems that fate brings them to us just when we need them. You look over at them from across the couch and think, “How did I get to be so lucky to end up with this incredible creature by my side?!” The same can be said for lovers.

If you really do have these feelings for your best friend, the feelings may be mutual. They may not. Is it worth risking losing the friendship over? That’s a question you have to ask yourself. No one can advise you.  

Some of the strongest loving relationships have foundations in trusting, close friendships. Certainly Nicki and I had that. I’ll forever mourn the loss of “our conversation,” which later involved communicating in an entirely new way. There are certain… things… we did together that I’ve done with no one else since, and never will. One might say he was the first person who ever really listened to me, and wanted to share with me in return. Through getting to know each other, we were drawn closer and closer… he was the first person to be curious about and love what was inside of me, on a long-term basis. I thought I knew what was inside of him, and I loved what I found there. Intimacy followed naturally. 

In contrast, Louis and I had precious little time in the beginning. He would have died if I had waited even one more night. I thought we might be immediately bonded with the Dark Gift. The shock of it and his nature was, unexpectedly, a huge obstacle for him, and those first few years, what really held us together was our lingering – and mostly restrained – desire for the each other. We struggled through and became friends slowly. Then best friends. Then lovers. 

We defy titles. Definitely not two halves of one whole, although I do like to refer to him publicly as “my better half” occasionally, just to tease him *smirks* 

Maybe that’s the point I’m trying to make. Do you and your friend seek to draw closer to the inner core of each other? You may need to wait for a sign that they want that, too.