VC Wedding Hysteria 2k15. [X 6/26/2015]

^So I saw these screencaps going around and I felt like making a fresh post on them, w/ cleaner screencaps and a link back to the post for archival purposes.

Re: “They would never make it to the [altar],” well, Lestat will drag Louis kicking and screaming if he has to. He’ll make an honest man out of Louis. Nobody ships Louis and Lestat harder than Lestat ships Louis and Lestat. Really. Almost to his own destruction.

Let’s not forget this is also the post that she definitively defines their sexuality and I love this term:

OMNI SEXUAL. Yesss. 

In the article, she describes the L/L wedding, so I finally decided to throw in my commentary bc you all love it, don’t deny it. Here’s a sample:

Benji would make a speech; so would Gregory; and also Gremt Stryker Knollys. And also Jesse. And others.

Their speeches are all going to be along the lines of a roast of Lestat and he will sit there and fake laugh and plot revenge. Gabrielle will be asked to make a speech and she will simply lean into the mic and say: “Louis, darling? He’s your problem now.”

Hit the jump for an invite to the wedding of the century!

Ha, no not really, but close enough, right? On with it:

“If Lestat and Louis were to marry, it would take place in the private chapel of Lestat’s chateau in France. 

Aww that’s really cute.

They would likely both wear their favorite velvet frockcoats— Lestat in red, Louis in black — in the old style, with a lot of white pearl studded lace at the throat and at the cuffs…

bc #FASHION. Tasteful white embellishment. Thank goodness Lestat’s not wearing a dress, or forcing Louis to wear a dress.

and they would speak their vows in a reverent whisper, and Marius, in a long simple burgundy colored velvet robe, would preside. They would exchange gorgeous and priceless emerald rings.

What vows can they make at this point? “I promise not to kill you again. Unless you ask me to. Even then, I would need some assistance. I’m not sure. Please try to behave in a way that doesn’t provoke me to want to kill you.”

The chapel would be filled with candles, incense, and white roses and white lilies, and all the closest of the vampire kindred would be invited, and the venerable old ones,

Yes ok I’m on board with all this…

including the great Servraine, Gabrielle, Gregory, and Lestat’s body guards, Thorne and Cyril, and other elders.

K for one thing you spelled Sevraine’s name wrong and secondly, what is Gabrielle wearing? Thorne had his eyes removed IIRC so I hope someone’s telling him what’s going on bc otherwise the whole thing is going to be a little less special for him…. And Lestat could explode like the state of Texas with his mind but he needs bodyguards? Not Best Men. Okay.

Armand in finest burnt gold brocade and lace would be best man for Louis.

Ok awkward former ex of 100 yrs is his best man now but whatever…

David Talbot in dark hunter green velvet and white linen would be best man for Lestat. 

David is worth his weight in gold and then some. He will be the one handling all the Lestat Bridezilla tantrums.

A choir of Vampire boys led by Notker would sing a cantata from Bach: Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimmer — the Chorale or first part. (BWV 140)

^Okay the music sounds cool but WHO’S BRILLIANT IDEA WAS IT to turn a whole choir full of boys into vampires? Wasn’t the child vampire thing very not cool? Who were the Ad wizards who came up with that one….

Then a great ball would take place in the grand or great hall of the chateau: with Notker conducting a vampire orchestra and Antoine playing first violin and occasional solos. 

Lestat will dance around with Louis in increasingly dramatic fashion until Louis catches Jesse’s eye, manages to slip out and Lestat doesn’t even notice Jesse has tapped in until he dips her and almost French kisses her.

Benji would make a speech; so would Gregory; and also Gremt Stryker Knollys. And also Jesse. And others. 

Their speeches are all going to be along the lines of a roast of Lestat and he will sit there and fake laugh and plot revenge. Gabrielle will be asked to make a speech and she will simply stand up and say into the mic: “Louis, darling? He’s your problem now.”

After the first dizzying Tchaikovsky waltz and a few other Viennese waltzes, there would be a lot of Greek side by side taverna dancing on the part of the vampires, male and female, to Greek taverna music (electronic mandolins), and then the great arched windows of the ball room would be thrown open and those who could take to the air would go out in pairs and groups to hunt in Marseilles amongst the pimps and the dope peddlers.

No vampiry wedding is complete w/o a massive amount of murder at the end y’know? For refreshments. It’s better than a blood fountain, right? You know Lestat would make a mess out of that in 12 seconds. Or less. 

(There wouldn’t be too many young ones at the ball, as given their need to hunt, and their inability to defy gravity, they cannot spend long nights in the country; Lestat permits no hunting in Lyon or the neighboring French towns of his old homeland. So they would send their regards from Paris, London, Marseilles, Berlin, Rome, etc. )
It could happen.”

No kids allowed! No kids’ table even?? The invite will say, “You must be at least 100 yrs old to attend.” Daniel and Jesse sneak in anyway, and when asked by the bouncer vampires what makes them think they can get in, they point at Benji and Sybelle and are allowed access immediately.

(Anne Rice, June 26,2015: Coven Exclusive)