“When I started my musical career, I was a maid,” she told the audience. “I used to clean houses. My parents, my mother was a proud janitor. My stepfather, who raised me like his very own, worked at the post office and my father was a trash man — they all wore uniforms. And that’s why I stand here today in my black and white and I wear my uniform to honor them.”
Tag Archives: mY HEART
a love story
- Luke’s first love isn’t Leia
- It isn’t Han either
- Or a pilot with eyes full of sky and a heart full of adventure who dreams of a blue-green tree–
- Look: listen. Here’s Luke, eight years old and so in love he feels like he could split at the seams. “She’s beautiful,” he says, something like reverence in his voice and later Uncle Owen will clip him round the ear for that – bad negotiation tactic that, letting them know that you want it, Jawa’s smell a sucker a mile off.
- Uncle Owen says – with a snort and a sigh – that it is okay, maybe, but by and large it is garbage and twenty credits is daylight robbery, really they should be paying him to take it away for salvage. And it’s an old model anyway, the engine barely functions, what’s the fire power? Womp rats out here grow frightful big, Uncle Owen says, stretches, clicks his joints out. The boy likes it, the Jawas say and Uncle Owen says, what kind of parent would I be if I went buying everything the boy liked.
- But they buy it. And Luke Skywalker falls profoundly, madly in love. From that moment on, she’s all he thinks of. His T-16, his very own, his skyhopper, his Womp rat slayer, his freedom, his wings.
- She’s held together with spit and prayer, and skips over the dunes, sometimes blustering smoke and sometimes light as a whisper, and she never breaks. She should, really, the age she is, the amount of time he spends on her – but she doesn’t, not ever, even when Luke (nine years old and an idiot and hungering for the horizon and there’s too much of his father in him because before Anakin was Vader he was also a boy, and an idiot) careens down Beggar’s gulf and upends himself half a dozen times, cartwheeling wild and free, a boy who doesn’t think death will ever catch him, ever ever ever. If you watch him, for a moment you believe it as well.
- She’s beautiful. She’s his angel. He takes her hunting – or she takes him, or both – and they obliterate every womp rat nest on Uncle Owen’s property. That season – yes, Tattooine does have seasons, of a sort: hot and hotter – Luke rents his services out to every farmer in the district, slaughters womp like they’re going out of style, kills them every night and comes home sticky and red and wipes his darling clean with a damp rag before getting into the refresherblock. He slaughters womp until one day, one dreadful day, when the stink of their corpses (mounded high, accruing faster than Behu and her friends can dry the skins, cure the meats) draws a krayt dragon, pearl-breasted and ravenous. She’s huge, hungry, bloody-mouthed.
- and Luke flies his t-16 at her too, and he’s nimble and small and lethal and he brings her down, him with his t-16 and biggs delivering the killing blow with his slugshooter, perched atop a dune, and he’s the one who gets the skin, the pearls, the credit. Luke pouts. Owen says too much of his father in him late at night, when the boy can’t hear. Owen says, I’ve never seen anyone kill like him. Owen says we need to be careful.
- Luke hunts womp still, of course, but never in the neighbouring farms. Never again does he kill until his t-16 (his first love) is red and tacky with womp blood, because – well. As Beru says: they kill womp rats because if they did not they would be overrun. Because womp rats are pests who take water and give nothing in return but pain. Like Jabba’s goons. Like the slavers. And that fierce, feral glee in Luke’s smile when he came back from a hunt, his t-16 glistening and his hands red and his face red – well. What is he learning, she had said. That he can hunt, that he can fend for himself, that he can – Owen said, then stopped, realising.
- that he can kill every womp for miles and miles and then kill the krayt dragons when they come and one day this boy will see the slavers take someone, or the hutt ooze arrogant into our town and take our water, and he will see that and think, perhaps, of the womp rats and how easily they died. he will think, maybe, that the world is unfair and can/should be changed. and he has the power to do that. am I afraid of this boy – no, no I am not, but I am afraid of what he could grow into.
- Vader started off with the best of intentions, Owen does not say. Vader slaughtered Sand People like animals, they were animals but –
- He’ll get himself into trouble, Beru says, gently.
- Once there was a boy with fire in his eyes and an aching to change the world –
- Yes, thinks Owen. Yes. The boy keeps the t-16, his first and greatest love, and – for the time being – focuses his efforts on subduing the local womp. For a time, it is enough.
oh my god I am SO SO glad that @peradii is on a Luke Skywalker kick right now. best. thing. ever.
Our Conversation – Second Night
When he woke up, it was with a smile. Already unsettling enough, but he found that the smile didn’t leave so easily either. His head was always full of too many thoughts, but today was different. It was his heart that was full and his head seemed unable to hold on to anything.
Back in Paris, Nicolas had friends who seemingly fell deeply in love with someone new every week and he’d always felt removed from it all, looking on with a sarcastic sneer and that roll of his eyes that was almost as feared as the sharpness of his tongue.
What would they say if they could see him now? This wasn’t him. He couldn’t be the one to keep thinking about eyes that seemed to change their shade when passion overtook them, kisses from an all too generous mouth and feeling as if he was still set aflame just from the memory. It was ridiculous.
And who was the cause? A noble pauper, who’d already fucked more than half the girls in the village and then some. No idea of the world, but a laugh that brightened it nonetheless and a head filled with naive nonsense that somehow still showed more intelligence than all his learned friends back in the city. No wonder he was captivated. But did his heart have to beat like this whenever he thought of him?
Everything else faded into the background, the whole day and whoever he had to talk to, he barely paid any attention to it. He couldn’t focus on eating, couldn’t focus on a single thing, even the violin only distracted him for moments at the time, because his fingers hadn’t yet learned how to dance to the music that played within him now.
By the time it was dark, he still had no idea what to think and was getting a bit too much of an idea about what he felt. He sat in his chair, one knee drawn up to his chest, kicking his other foot against the chair’s legs. He was ridiculous.
Yet when he heard the sound of pebbles being thrown against his window, it only took him a moment to get up and open it up. He wasn’t surprised to see Lestat standing downstairs, as if he’d expected to see him there. As if they had arranged for it.
“Do you want to come down and go on with our Conversation?”
Nicolas didn’t hesitate. He gave no reply and simply closed the window, but only to throw on his coat, grab his violin and literally run down the stairs as he hadn’t done since he was a young boy. There had been no reply needed. The smile was back and it said it all.
The door fell shut behind him and he was already by Lestat’s side, hoping that his eyes didn’t give it all away, yet putting a hand on his hip at the same time. Oh, to hell with it all.
“Let’s talk more.”
So my brain can barely process this. The Vampire Chronicles (they’re wanting to do The Vampire Lestat first) done by Bryan Fuller!!!!!
Please universe…please make this happen for me!
BRYAN PLEASE
OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD
@novellaqueen HOLY SHIT
PLEASE
BRYAN I BEG YOU

tfw no bfI’m just saying, Nicolas drank himself to sleep every single night after Lestat disappeared.
So the story behind this song, is heart breaking and heart warming at the same time. Brian May, the guitarist for Queen, wrote this song for the 1991 Queen album Innuendo. The song was written about how even though Freddie Mercury was slowly dying from AIDS, he was still doing shows, writing, and making music with the band. When they were recording the song, they were worried the Freddie would not have had the strength to do the vocals, because it was getting much worse, and was bed ridden, but he recorded it, and killed it. There will be no one like Freddie Mercury. I don’t care what anyone says, Queen was and still is the best band ever to exist.
The Show Must Go On by Queen
“I’ll fucking do it, darling” he said and killed it in a single take that’s something you need to remember. This is a song that was a single continuous take for his vocals. No misses. No re-records. Not on this, not for Freddie.
“My only love sprung from my only hate, Too early seen unknown, and known too late—”
“Papa! You should have been an actor, the way you read my stories. It seems the only thing that suits you more than killing.”
“It does. But let Lestat finish, Claudia. It’s nearly sunrise, and we all need to sleep.”
“It was as if the empty nights were made for thinking of him. And sometimes I found myself so vividly aware of him it was as if he had only just left the room and the ring of his voice were still there. And somehow, there was a disturbing comfort in that, and, despite myself, I’d envision his face.” Interview with the Vampire – (1994)
“Even in his cruelest moments, Louis touched
the tenderness in me, seducing me with his staggering dependence, his
infatuation with my every gesture and every spoken word.” – The Vampire Lestat
What was your thought process when you left Nicolas with the very people who broke him further than you did? I’m reading the vampire Lestat and was just wondering why you thought it was a good idea.
What alternative was there? Should I have dragged him around Europe with us in the search for Marius and for the answers that I did not have? What about when Gabrielle finally left and I lost all hope? Would he have gone to ground with me? Would he have been careful in his feeding habits when unleashed and roaming the countryside? And when I was rescued by Marius….when I finally looked upon Akasha’s face, would he have stood by my side?
I think not. It was he that returned to Renaud’s and it was he that formed The Theater of the Vampires! He hated the sight of me and I him but for different reasons….I hadn’t perished, the light never left me despite my descent into darkness! And he was a madman….half broken creature of dark genius! Would he have been happy to leave Paris? To stare at my face every evening and leave his music behind?
You know the answer if you are reading. Why ask me the questions to which you already know the answers? Are you attempting to demonize and damn me once more? Are you attempting to point out my mistakes when they parade themselves before me again on a nightly basis?
I have laid it bare at your feet and my sins are available at any time for you to browse and review over and over if you like. I am done with them, a tired tune indeed! Ask me no more!
I will find a way to give Nicolas purpose again but I realize that together, we do nothing but poison the well over and over until neither of us can drink.
Hey, I saw your post about songs that remind you about VC. The song “Stage 4 Fear of Trying” by Frank Iero andthe Cellabration always reminds me of Lestat and Gabrielle. And even if you don’t get that vibe from the song i still recommend it :)
Oh wow… VERY MUCH AGREED #MY HEART #CRIES FOREVER
“Though I’ve traveled far
I’ve been back to the start
And I found some scars in places I have never shown to anyone
I don’t know why it took so long to get back home”