My new favourite thing is mixing slang and colloquialisms from different generations, because the possibilities are endless. What I’m saying is it’s dandy, my home dude. Straight Wizard, m’lady. Sick af, rapscallions. are you picking up what I’m digging, my mellow cats? Not to toot my own horn but it’s the sickest. The illest, darling. A strumpet dont get shivery, me timbers
More vampires who 300 years later can’t remember what was the truth and what was the lie they told to get out of trouble.
More vampires who are like, “I don’t know, man, I spent most of that decade in an opium den.”
More vampires who weren’t paying attention because they didn’t think it would be important.
More vampires who don’t know because there was lot of conflicting gossip and they don’t want to point any fingers.
More vampires who are just bad at dates. “Back in 1620, or was it 1645, wait, what year is it now?”
More vampires who were on a totally different continent when it happened, so get off their back and stop asking them questions already.
YES to all of this but also consider: vampires who only remember the most trivial stuff.
“Oh yeah, the only thing I remember about the American Revolution was this nice candlemaker I met sometime, and she was wearing this really cute red shawl…”
“Uhhh I don’t remember much about the fall of Rome but there was this one fucking cobblestone right outside the coliseum…”
Also consider: vampires who realize three or four hundred years after the fact that they knew someone famous.
Just sits up in bed one night screaming “THAT WAS GEORGE GODDAMN WASHINGTON”
Wormwood (Wedding planner and evil sorcerer) has a plan… well, actually he has two plans… oh, and a scheme… no wait, the scheme is the colours for the wedding…one of them is a plan and the other is a plot… it’s VERY confusing for all concerned!
Unless I’ve misread something the lists are;
Evil To Do List
i – Buy green poison on sale
ii – Mind control tiara on Pricness Isabella
iii – Snub Alan Menken re: Emmy
iv – Take over Kingdom PENDING
v – Something with spiders
vi – Identify the One True King to Unite Them All
vii – Kill Jon Snow
viii – Get cool evil haircut
ix – Ask Wanda for ETA on centerpiece OTHER PLAN
Wedding To Do List
i – Invitations
ii – Isabella pumpkin dress
iii – NO CHILDREN except the groom
iv – Order guten free grog
v – Sit knights at round tables NOT square tables.
I-want-my-IWTV 