“When I started my musical career, I was a maid,” she told the audience. “I used to clean houses. My parents, my mother was a proud janitor. My stepfather, who raised me like his very own, worked at the post office and my father was a trash man — they all wore uniforms. And that’s why I stand here today in my black and white and I wear my uniform to honor them.”
(ooc; Not sure how serious you are, but, Reminder: if you have already taken something or done something to harm yourself please call 911. If you haven’t done anything and if you’re thinking about suicide, please talk to the suicide hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) in the U.S., to find a suicide helpline outside the U.S., visit IASP or Suicide.org. Please read Suicide Help.)
♛My dear, I’m so sorry to read this message. My heart aches for you.
There are times when yes, the loneliness overtakes me. I do feel emptiness at times, moreso in those times I was betrayed by the ones closest to me. Not to revisit that… but the emptiness you are describing seems to be a deeper one than what I experienced. Again, my heart aches for you.
Sometimes solitude is needed, just to get to know myself once again, so that I can return to my loved ones.
Because that’s really the answer, at least for me, time spent with your loved ones has healing properties. Do you have any pets? Or know anyone who does? I’ve found that rolling around with a sizable dog (or several!) can also cure me of many of these gutwrenching feelings, those insidious negative voices that creep in. The healing power of dog cuddles may not be complete but it is still substantial.
If you don’t have anyone you can go to, there are professionals out there who can help. One group is called the
Samaritans.
The Dark Gift is not, generally, a quick fix. You bring yourself with you, and all your own experiences, all your own baggage. It enhances who you already are, for better or worse. I found that out with my beloved Nicki. Knowing what I know now about him, would I still give him the Dark Gift? I desperately want to say yes, but I don’t think it “fixed” him. Not by a long shot. It made him into another version of himself. Purified him. It seemed to release him from his life-long act of being a civilized person, which he detested.
In the absence of everything else I’ve suggested, one other cure: Stories. Read. Watch movies. Listen to music. Eat your favorite foods. Read my first book again, and see how I dealt with obstacle after obstacle, take inspiration from my example. Or, and I can’t believe I’m suggesting this: read Louis’ book. Know that he experienced similar feelings to yours. He survived it.
You are not alone. Get the help you need, or cure yourself, or both! Validate yourself if no one else will. Care for yourself as if you were your own best friend. There were so many times when that’s all I could do for myself, for years. Decades, even. If I had given up, at any of those times, I would not be here to offer you this: I survived. So can you.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ”
“If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.”
“Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.”
“I feel I’m very sane about how crazy I am.”
“And when you’re young you want to fit in. Hell, I still want to fit in with certain humans, but as you get older you get a little more discriminating.”
“In my opinion, a problem derails your life and an inconvenience is not being able to get a nice seat on the un-derailed train.”
“You know the bad thing about being a survivor… You keep having to get into difficult situations in order to show off your gift.”
“There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now. I might as well take a nap.”
“No motive is pure. No one is good or bad-but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away.”
^yah so I don’t have access to any photoshoppin’ tools rn but whatever… that is yours truly and @roselioncourt.
So LOTS of things happening and tbh I’m a little overwhelmed by all the info we’ve gotten in the last week, and the posts in response, some of which I’ve seen… and I was trying to keep up w/ it all on my phone the whole frickin’ time it was happening (I have 100+ tabs open *laughcries* and the phone is not a happy camper)… it’s a little overwhelming.
As Ron Swanson famously said: “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” I’m gonna whole-ass all the things when I have the time this weekend, I got all your messages and plan to do massive replies. Also need to make a post about the PLROA booksigning, I took notes (altho there is a video of it on the official VC FB).
… I also have to read the new book (!!!)… I asked for spoilers and you should know that I *facepalmed* or “Oh, Anne”’d at almost every new piece of canon information.
Samwise Gamgee and I want to send love to anyone who is struggling tonight. I know there’s a lot of people scared and hurting about the US Presidential elections.
For everyone literally getting sick with anxiety here are some things you CAN do to feel better in the light of so much overwhelming can’t. These are not cures for actual clinical anxiety, which should be managed with help from a mental health profesional—these are just some small, everyday things I personally do as someone who deals with OCD and stomach issues every day:
Sip water or tea. Chamomile and lemon balm are good.
Eat simple foods that are easy on your stomach. My favorite is sugar free Jello. Comfort yourself the way you would when you are actually sick—your body doesn’t know the difference.
Eat foods that are rich in folate, which helps your body produce neurotransmitters like serotonin. Blueberries, kale, and dark chocolate are good for this. So is plan old-fashioned sunshine.
Snuggle your pets. They love you. They don’t care about politics.
Watch a Disney movie. Watch Mr. Rogers.
Go shopping. You don’t have to buy stuff. But browsing nice, aesthetically pleasing places like a Bath and Body Works is very comforting. Plus it gets out of the house. Take a friend with you!
Peoplewatch! Try a park, playground, a mall, or a campus building.
Belly breathe: Spend some time slowly but pointedly breathing with your stomach rather than your upper chest.
Reading can be hard to focus on when you’re anxious, but listening to audio books works wonders. Try LibriVox or AudioBookRadio.
Seek companions and empathy. Talk about what upsets you. But don’t do it alone—online venting, for example, is highly stressful and can be counterproductive because of its one sidedness. Find someone you trust and talk to them. Talk to your mom. Find a human voice.
Take a gentle, safe sleep aid. Nyquil makes a safe sleep aid. Benadryl and dramamine are also good sleep aids. Avoid alcohol—it’s hard on your already agitated stomach.
Interact with your immediate environment and the people in it. Visit your neighbor. Go for a walk. Sign up to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Getting involved in your local community is a good way to shrink what feel like overwhelming problems into manageable bites.
Watch QVC. I know this sounds weird, but QVC is a rock for times when you’re stuck alone with your problems, especially at night—it’s broadcast live, which is a nice reminder that the world is still turning, Plus, they talk to you in a positive, encouraging tone, as opposed to the news, which is mostly designed to terrify you.
Watch The Weather Channel. Like QVC, The Weather Channel is comforting in its predictability and live broadcasting. The content is not as positive, but it is a good distraction and a reminder that there is a real, living world out there.
There are lots of live online stations you can watch, too. Live kittens, live underwater kelp forests. Here are Cornell Labs’ Live Bird Cams: http://cams.allaboutbirds.org/
Try Yoga. Even a simple beginner’s video where you’re gently guided to focus on your body will help calm you: Here’s a good one for beginners.
Focus on the present. Focus on an environment you can physically improve. Anxiety is mostly the fear of an uncertain future—so focus on what you can do right now in the room you’re in. Are there dishes to wash? A bed to make? Work to do? Do these things. Chores are amazing at relieving anxiety. I recommend @unfuckyourhabitat if you need inspiration.
Do homework. I’m not even joking. There’s a difference between good knowledge and bad knowledge, and no matter your age, actively putting good knowledge into your brain helps relieve stress. Find a topic that you don’t know much about. Research it. Take notes. Learn something new. Write a friend and email telling them all about this new thing you’ve learned.
Take a bath.
Masturbate. YOU BET. Touching yourself in a soothing way and allowing yourself to feel pleasure is a great reminder to your body that you care about it.
Pamper yourself. Paint your nails. Put on makeup.
Try ASMR, a proven relaxation technique. I recommend Maria aka Gentlewhispering:
Also, I mentioned this on Twitter, but if you’re up to it, and you have the strength, chat with people online. Let friends know that your DMs and messages are open. Reach out to strangers who are scared. Wish people well.
You have a right to feel angry, frustrated, and frightened today. But comforting others will help you feel less powerless.
Tumblr is so exhausting. Not everyone or everything is bad. Everyone and everything eventually fucks up and says/does something they shouldn’t but not everyone and everything should be written off because of those things. It’s so, so fucking tiring to read people having to constantly justify their enjoyment of someone or something. Liking someone or something does not mean you condone everything about it or them.
Cutting out someone or something that is important to you or has a positive impact on you just because someone on Tumblr says they’re problematic or digs up old receipts is so upsetting and unnecessary. You do you. Enjoy what you enjoy, recognize the problems it inevitably has, but don’t feel pressure to give someone or something up if you don’t want to and if they make you happy. It’s fine. You’re allowed.
♛There are many people out there who never should have been parents. I’m sorry that your mother is the way she is. Louis’ mother was like this, too. All she could see was his flaws. She was so disappointed with the way her life had turned out that her self-worth was built on bullying everyone around her into almost obsequious obedience.
Take heart in knowing that you’ll be free of your mother eventually, free to go out and find people who will love you! People who will see your flaws but love you anyway. People who will want to help you improve in the ways you want to improve, and accept you in the ways you don’t. As you’ll do the same for them.
Hell, I’m far from perfect! But did I deserve the treatment I got from my father every time I wanted to improve my lot in life? It was the way things were at that time, and that’s the way things continue to be for so many people, even in this modern age. Trying to understand the reason why people behave the way they do may give you some perspective and closure. In so many cases, it’s a deep insecurity that causes people to be cruel to their children. I’m guilty of that.
Your parents are just people, too. If it seems like all they do is try to tear you down, without any intention of helping you improve, do not let their disapproval seep into your own opinion of yourself. Life goes on so much longer than your upbringing, you have plenty of time and opportunity to find love and happiness.
As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are – what others say is irrelevant.
I-want-my-IWTV 