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dandelioncourt:

Louis and Lestat: A Summary

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#VC synopsis

There is something obscene about this novel. It makes the lives of these beings seem attractive. You don’t realize it at first; it’s a nightmare and you can’t get out of it. Then all of a sudden you’re comfortable there. You want to remain. Even the tragedy of Claudia isn’t really a deterrent.

Jesse Reeve, Queen of the Damned

I KNOW THAT FEEL SISTAH.

Oh lord help me lestat is as helpless as a newborn after body switching, tripping on carpets, messing his pants, binging on chocolate and already half dead from a sickness. Just wanna squish his cheeks and feed him hot soup abububu

“I’ve watched two-year-old humans with interest for centuries. They’re miserable. They rush about, fall down, and scream almost constantly. They hate being human! They know already that it’s some sort of dirty trick.

” 

– Lestat, Tale of the Body Thief

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[fanart by sheepskeleton] <– Edit! I had the credit wrong! Sorries!

Hallo my darling dear, out of curiosity what did you end up choosing as your favorite VC book? Or if I feel like being crueler still, would you list them from most to least favorite?

OuO thanks for this ask! *u*

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(ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧  *~TVL~* is my favorite bc of reasons:

  • it’s undiluted Lestat, 
  • from his POV, 
  • his backstory, 
  • his midstory, 
  • his modus operandi… 
  • it answers alot of the questions and corrects the record somewhat from IWTV (both have unreliable narrators but STILL)
  • …while bringing in a wholly new vampire origin mythology!! 
  • and sets us up for more stories. 

Listing the rest from most to least fave under the cut. 

I’ll try not to spoil but consider yourself WARNED. \(^ω^\)

You know this fluctuates ok? Sometimes I’m in the mood for crackiness, but the top 5 are generally constants. 

SPOILER ALERT MAYBE

  1. TVL – bc of reasons
  2. IWTV – bc it was the gateway drug to all this, and bc of Louis’ voice being so strong, very classical gothic novel. There was alot of existential crisis here, and mixed right in were some of the best insults and humor I’d ever read up until that time. (Louis: “There’s nothing left for you to tell me about life. I haveno need of you and no use for you. It’s you who need me, and if you
    touch but one of the Freniere slaves, I’ll get rid of you. It will be a
    battle between us, and I needn’t point out to you I have more wit to
    fare better in my little finger than you in your entire frame. Do as I
    say.
    ‘”
    OH SNAP.
  3. ToBT – Truly a “Lestat Don’t Do the Thing” “I Did the Thing” “GDI Lestat” book, in which he gets the chance to be mortal again, and this sums up his opinion of that experience: “I’ve watched two-year-old humans with interest for centuries. They’re miserable. They rush about, fall down, and scream almost constantly. They hate being human! They know already that it’s some sort of dirty trick.” I feel ya.
  4. MtD – Yes okay I love Memnoch the Devil bc of alot of reasons, but mostly for the ideas it presents about why God created man and the world and what the deal was with sending Jesus down to mingle among people, and of course Lestat is asked to be the Prince of Hell, bc why not? It’s got alot going for it, the settings are amazing, the amount of Lestat being overwhelmed by his sensory input is like a rollercoaster ride, it’s some intense stuff. 
  5. QotD – there are alot more characters in here and it’s fun to jump around among the different POVs as the story progresses. The Queen herself has a wildly innovative concept for bringing Peace on Earth and it has a major flaw in that it does not include Bette Midler singing “From a Distance.”
  6. Merrick – Louis returns as a more central character in several books, and it’s not for the faint of heart. It rekindles the L/L intimacy in a whole new way.
  7. TVA – I am not a huge lover of Armand but in this book I feel like I got to know him better, it’s sumptuous, I would like a graphic novel plzkthanx, and it has an edginess as he is telling his story to someone who hasn’t yet earned his full trust and respect. 
  8.  BaG – Marius’ story, follows Armand’s in my list bc I like Armand just 12% more than Marius. Partially bc of what Marius does in the later canon ugh. He lost alot of points for me. I can explain his reasons but I don’t have to LIKE THE OUTCOME all the same. 
  9. PL – Not sure if canon but… there are a few scenes in here that could stand alone and are worth reading the book for, plus I definitely approve of the last few major plot points. I think those were handled very well and would reread them. Yes I can start at 25% from the end of a book and reread from there WHY NOT?
  10. BW – Quinn has grown more tolerable to me over time, and his story is very rural NOLA IIRC, with alot of spiritual stuff happening. 
  11. Pandora – I never really “got” her when I tried to read this when I was 15, probably bc her ship with Marius was so impossible for both of them, and her sadness was too much but I should give this book another try alllllll these number of years later.
  12. BC – one of the crackiest for sure. I can’t remember most of it but it was intended to be the last VC, so it has a bunch of things happening as if it were the last opportunity to have them happen. Also the crossover… um… yeah, no. 

A less than thorough summary of the Tale of the Body Thief

Lestat: WOW LIFE SUCKS ON THIS MAGICAL MALL ISLAND THAT DOUBLES AS OUR SAFE HAVEN (seriously what let me live there pls), GOING 2 THE DESERT, BE BACK NEVER
Other coven members: kay
Lestat: *gets a strong tan job* well fuck, i’m still alive, hi David
David: wat
Lestat: lol sweet pad bro
James: psssst hey kid, you wanna do some things?????
Lestat: UR DAMN RIGHT I WANNA DO SOME THINGS
David: LESTAT YOU CAN NOT SWITCH BODIES WITH THIS JAMES FELLOW HE IS A MONSTER AND A LIAR AND IT WILL END IN DISASTERRRRRRRRR
Lestat: i don’t see how this could possibly go wrong
David: did you even hear me?
Lestat: ok but
Louis: can u not *strops*
Lestat: LUMP OFF HAHAHAH I DO WHAT I WANT YOLOOOOO
Lestat/James: *Freaky Friday’d*
James: SMELL YA LATER *whoosh*
Lestat: rude…OOH DOGGIE 😀
Lestat: WAIT ALL OF THIS IS TERRIBLE BUT ALSO KINDA MAGICAL BUT MOSTLY TERRIBLE IDK WHAT I EXPECTED BUT PEEING IS GROSSSSsss….*pneumonia’d*
Gretchen: r u ok
Lestat: clearly not, Claudia
Grethcen: what
Lestat: what
Claudia: really though, r u ok, i’m not even really here
Claudia: p.s. you’re still an asshole
Lestat: 200 YEARS WILL GIVE YA’ SUCH A CRICK IN THE NECK
Gretchen: ur not that bad a person
Lestat: nah, i am tho. wanna smoosh, y/y
Gretchen: ok sure
Lestat: THAT WAS FUN *flies home*
Lestat: LOUIS MY LOV-
Louis: ENJOY AN ASS-HANDING– Oh…
Lestat: OW LOL WAIT HELP :(((((
Louis: NO SAVE URSELF
Lestat: Louis pls
Louis: ENJOY BEING ALIVE YOU TREMENDOUS LITTLE SHITTTttt… *disappears*
Lestat: I WILL BURN DOWN YOUR TRASH SHACK PLEB oh, so hey, Marius, while ur here-
Maruis: nah *disappears*
Lestat: Marius why 😥
Lestat: OH HI DAVID pls help I hecked up 😦
David: ok fine you scamp
Lestat: SHIT YES ROAD TRIP
Lestat: WE’RE ON A BOAT
David: Lestat pls
Lestat: wanna bump uglies
David: LESTAT FOCUS
Lestat: ok but do you
David: YOU MUST LEARN TO REDO THE THING
Lestat: :((((
David: in a few hours, we strike
Lestat: ok ok I GOT THIS
Lestat: DAMN I FORGOT HOW FINE I AM *puts on “Goodbye Horses”*
David: THE CHICKEN IS IN THE POT
Lestat: OK NOW????
David: yea, i brought a gun lol
Lestat: *SCHWIP*
James: gdi gdi gdi gdi
David: I’M TOO RICH TO DIE *blam*
Lestat: ??????
Lestat: PROFIT!!! zzzzz…
Lestat: DAVID WHERE ARE U
David: MIAMI, DUH AND/OR HELLO
Lestat: o i c
David: dark gift pls
Lestat: what, really, oka- WAIT JAMES YOU MOTHER FUCKER, LESTAT SMASH
David (James): x_x
Lestat: fuck oops
Lestat: *flies back* LOUIS LET’S REBUILD OUR HAPPY HOME
Louis: what
Lestat: wait, brb!! 😉 *gone*
Louis: um
David: writing is sweet
Lestat: lol nice hotel
David: YOU SCAMP
Lestat: how’s the whole being young again thing going for ya?
David: Lestat no
Lestat: David yes
David: OH GOD WHY- okay fine, but be gentle
Lestat: DRINKY DRINKY WELCOME TO THE *~*SAVAGE GARDEN*~*
David: woah, yeah this is pretty sweet, l8r tho
Lestat: DAVID WHERE ARE U
Lestat: I don’t know what I expected
Lestat: ugh w/e i’m a monster 😦 *flies home*
Louis: WELCOME HOME DOUCHE CANOE
Lestat: love u too boocakes
Lestat: wait what…David?????
David: ROAD TRIP PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
Lestat: AWWWWWW YESSSS 3TP 5EVARRRRrrrr…
Lestat: Wow I am still so alone 😦
THE END

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luthi69:

“The hell I won’t!” – Interview with the Vampire
“The hell I’m not!” – The Vampire Lestat
“Like hell it is!” – Queen of the Damned

I think Lestat actually described each book’s plot with a slight variation of expression.

ITS CANON BITCHES

I feel like all the Vampire Chronicles books should just be renamed with a brief description of whatever adventures Lestat got up to in them

hyperbeeb:

So books 1-10 would become

  1. Lestat’s Adventures with a Progressive Family
  2. Lestat’s Bisexual Adventures in 18th Century France
  3. Lestat’s Adventures with the Queen of the Vampires
  4. Lestat’s Adventures as a Human
  5. Lestat’s Adventures with Satan
  6. Lestat’s Adventures in a Coma
  7. Lestat’s Adventures with Polyamory 
  8. Lestat’s Adventures in the Deep South
  9. Lestat’s Adventures with Not Being There At All
  10. Lestat’s Adventures with Witches and Other Weird Shit

11. Lestat’s Adventures in Fixing Everyone Else’s Problems [nodominion]

I feel like all the Vampire Chronicles books should just be renamed with a brief description of whatever adventures Lestat got up to in them

hyperbeeb:

So books 1-10 would become

  1. Lestat’s Adventures with a Progressive Family
  2. Lestat’s Bisexual Adventures in 18th Century France
  3. Lestat’s Adventures with the Queen of the Vampires
  4. Lestat’s Adventures as a Human
  5. Lestat’s Adventures with Satan
  6. Lestat’s Adventures in a Coma
  7. Lestat’s Adventures with Polyamory 
  8. Lestat’s Adventures in the Deep South
  9. Lestat’s Adventures with Not Being There At All
  10. Lestat’s Adventures with Witches and Other Weird Shit