13bels:

fareed should make some long-lasting blood flavored gum like i bet lestat would love to pop it in the face of the trick asf bitch who tried telling him what to do

it would be like, silent in the court hall, and you just hear two ppl having a gum-smacking competition and it’s Armand and Lestat metaphorically having a dick waving contest—it’s just the most obnoxious thing ever

and Louis would take Lestat’s pack bc the noise bothers him when he’s trynna chill with a book or just think, but then he gets curious and tries one and realizes it staves off hunger pretty well (not that that bothers him much anymore, but still, it can be a long walk from the château to human-populated areas) and he takes up the habit too, except he doesn’t pop his gum bc he’s a gentleman

and Fareed, having contributed so much to these blood suckers, ends up financially balling and manages to overthrow Lestat’s monarchy bc Capitalism™.

Hi Louis! Do vampires brush their teeth? Thanks and love you!! ~

♠Lestat is confused as to why you’re directing your questions to me, he’s trying to force me to answer what he would answer, but I am pointedly ignoring him. 

It’s not of great interest to me, but I will note that he has gone to considerable research about brushing teeth, he and Daniel bring home these little “self-care” packages: toothpaste of different flavors, devices that spray water or have vibrating bristles, and they test these items out on fruit or each other. I sometimes participate. 

There are nights that Lestat returns to me from hunting and his breath is truly atrocious, so he has to do some level of cleansing to be permitted within my personal space. I follow the same etiquette for his sake.

image

In the past, we would have a basin and would wash before going out, and before going to sleep for the day. Little mortal rituals like these keep us feeling that we have some semblance to humanity still, and perhaps, it is also restorative in the way many acts of taking care of oneself are restorative. 

However, it’s not necessary for us to brush our teeth in much the same way, I suppose, as it is unnecessary for wild animals. Perhaps it’s because we do not consume cooked meat, refined sugars, or flavored drinks. Fareed suggests that we have saliva with a high Ph value, which protects the enamel from demineralizing and thus prevents cavities.

rameldrive:

skeluigi:

somethingpointy:

Vampire doctors that can smell if you have a blood disease.

Werewolf therapy animals for sick kids.

Nature sprite and nymph nurses that always make sure people have pretty flowers to brighten up their white rooms.

Fauns that go around and sing and dance for patients so that they smile.

Nice monster hospitals would be amazing

Succubus nurses that give u the succ before u die

thanks tumblr user skeluigi

Prismatic

evilsupplyco:

The vampire awoke with a start as sunshine poured over him. “The light!” he cried, cowering.

“You are alright, there, no fuss,” came the calming reply from the necrophysician. He wiped the monster’s brow with a damp cloth and felt his cheeks and forehead. “Yes, you are doing just fine.”

Tentatively, the vampire sat up and squinted at the window. “But… how?” Gazing at it, he whispered, “Sunlight. It has been so long.”

“Stained glass, enchanted to twist sunlight’s signature in a similar method as the moon. The light will help your healing, you are safe.” The healer explained proudly. Carefully, he pushed the vampire back into the coffin. “Rest now, that stake nearly hit your heart.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

Gallery

for doctorbhansali