[//ooc; Breaking these into two questions, will answer the second separately]

♛Strange, isn’t it, that there are different kinds of love, and that we can feel it for our friends as intensely as for our lovers? That these feelings can transform best friends into lovers, or the reverse. 

*cracks knuckles*

Anon, there is so much missing information in your question! You say you’re gay, but you don’t reveal your own gender, and you don’t say what the orientation is of the object of your affection. “Gay” used to specify men, now it’s applicable to lesbians, and others, as well, are you both lesbians? Is she bisexual? One of the many other genders and orientations we have these days?

But all that aside, I don’t even know if you are over 18, or that you want a sexual relationship with this person. I certainly would not encourage sexual relationships for those under 18. Even though it’s no secret that I did my damnedest to sow more than my share of wild oats by the time I was fifteen. I was ready at that age, my lovers seemed ready as well, but times were different then. I think I was glad that anyone was interested in being tender with me, loving me in the way that they wanted to when I was at that age… perhaps I rushed into it. It felt right at the time. 

So you’ve developed feelings for someone, let’s keep it to that, and you are unsure whether to pursue those feelings for something more than friendship, whatever that “something” means. What that relationship would be is defined by the people who are in it. My relationships with each of my lovers have had

similarities, but different terms, different allowances.

Best friends are family members who we choose, and want to keep in our lives. It seems that fate brings them to us just when we need them. You look over at them from across the couch and think, “How did I get to be so lucky to end up with this incredible creature by my side?!” The same can be said for lovers.

The feelings you have for your best friend may be mutual. It seems like you initiated the conversation already when you told them that you’re gay, and they haven’t changed their behavior towards you, but they may not have the same feelings for you. Is it worth risking losing the friendship over? That’s a question you have to ask yourself. No one can advise you.  

If your best friend cares about you, they shouldn’t be offended if you share these feelings with them. I’ve had people approach me and tell me they wanted more than I could give, and I had to politely let them down that the feelings were not mutual, but I still wanted them in my circle. These friendships ended if they were unable to accept my No. 

And not just by my choice! I’ve had long term friendships that ended with people leaving me, and cutting off all communication, if they couldn’t have what I couldn’t give them. Not everyone who you grow close to in life is meant to stay forever. 

However, some of the strongest loving relationships have foundations in trusting, close friendships. Certainly Nicki and I had that. I’ll forever mourn the loss of “our conversation,” which later involved communicating in an entirely new way. There are certain… things… we did together that I’ve done with no one else since, and never will. One might say he was the first person who ever really listened to me, and wanted to share with me in return. Through getting to know each other, we were drawn closer and closer… he was the first person to be curious about and love what was inside of me, on a long-term basis. I thought I knew what was inside of him, and I loved what I found there. Intimacy followed naturally.

In contrast, Louis and I had precious little time in the beginning. He would have died if I had waited even one more night. I thought we would be immediately bonded with the Dark Gift. The shock of it and his nature was, unexpectedly, a huge obstacle for him, and those first few years, what really held us together was our lingering – and mostly restrained – desire for each other. We struggled through and became friends slowly. Then best friends. Then lovers.

We defy titles. Definitely not two halves of one whole, although I do like to refer to him publicly as “my better half” occasionally, just to tease him *smirks*

Maybe that’s the point I’m trying to make. Do you and your friend seek to draw closer to the inner core of each other? You may need to wait for a sign that they want that, too.