Tag Archives: on relationships

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Master lestat may i ask a question of you. What exactly do you look for in a person in order to determine if you want to make them one of the damned? Personality wise more than physical traits and even then do you even look for any specific physical traits?
-forever yours crissabelle laffiate

♛Miss Crissabelle, this is a very difficult question… and I might answer differently now than I would have in the past, and may answer differently in the future.

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[X Lestat by HRFleur]

I don’t consider myself “damned,” not in the literal sense of the word. Not all the time, anyway. If I really did, I don’t think I could bring anyone into this life with me. I’ve always seen this existence more as an incredible adventure, why keep it to myself? In the same breath, not everyone can handle it, I can’t just give it out to every striking face and beautiful spirit that crosses my path. There has to be more to it than that.

Superficially, I admit I tend to be drawn to musicians and

dark haired people. Musicians because they have a passion for something, they needn’t be the best at their instrument but that they practice it and it gives them intrinsic pleasure outside of the applause of an audience… music is a language that speaks to the soul in ways nothing else can. Brunets, well, I admit I find them visually appealing, the darkness is a mystery, it begs to be touched, explored. There happens to be plenty of dark haired musicians out there so I can feel free to feed my heart’s desire in lusting after all of them and enjoy them without getting close enough to needing to invite them onto the Devil’s Road with me.

Appearance is always secondary to the inner qualities, and I can’t tell you what specifically those are. At minimum, the person has to know what they’re getting into, yes, you can live this life without killing, but killing is part of the fun as far as I’m concerned! At minimum, I choose people who are whole onto themselves and aren’t looking for me to complete them. People with their own pursuits. I’m not a babysitter. I’m not looking for a babysitter. 

It’s different for different people, but I would say that it all comes down to chemistry and I can’t define that for you. Patience is probably the main required personality trait.

The shape of their body does not matter to me, their gender, their age… it’s the indefinable spark you feel in their presence because the two of you are together. More than lust. Simmering joy in being with them, not because they entertain you, but because of what you can be together.

What you’re really asking is what I look for in a lover, because, with certain exceptions to this rule, the Dark Gift is for those who I need to keep with me forever, those who I can’t allow to slip away into the maw of time, if they’ll have me back. I’m not adopting a pet or taking on a student; that seems to end in disappointment sooner or later. 

So just being pleasant and charming is not enough. Real relationships have friction. I look for someone whose inner soul speaks to mine in ways no other does, someone for whom the fights make us stronger, because we have an underlying foundation of devotion to each other. 

Though I may fall in love easily, I do not fall in devotion easily.

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Hi Lestat, can I come to you for romance advice? Is it bad that I’m jealous of my two best friends (a guy and girl)? We both like him, too. I always feel like a third wheel when it’s the three of us. I feel like they will probably get together soon and they would be cute together, but it kinda sucks. I don’t really know what to do. Maybe you have some good advice (from experience). Thank you Lestat (:

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♛This is something I have yet to master myself. I’m more in love with myself than anyone else, so really, when people choose each other over me, it’s more their loss than mine.

It hasn’t happened yet, be glad that your friends are still just your friends. So no need to be truly jealous yet. But yes, being a third wheel is not much fun.

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([X] //ooc; ^L/L didn’t do this so explicitly in front of her, but I imagine that’s how Claudia might have felt in general ;A;)

I don’t know enough about your situation to advise you one way or the other, but it is possible to let them date each other if that’s what happens, and their happiness can be your happiness, you don’t have to dump them both as friends just for leaving you out. They’ll still need you separately, if they valued your friendship in the first place.

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You can ask them not to slobber all over each other when they’re in your presence, though, that seems like a reasonable request.

Of course, if Louis and David “got together” as they say, and left me out, I’d have a tough time being happy for them. Very tough. No. Impossible. They’re not allowed. Absolutely not! 

The main thing to remember is that finding a mate shouldn’t be your mission. If it happens, it happens, and if not, then not. But you should never feel lesser because you’re single. Friendship is as valid as a romantic relationship. In some ways, even more difficult. Different definition of intimacy. I’ve known people whose relationships were based mostly on sex and they had little else really in common. It was enough for them, but it wouldn’t be enough for me.

If they do start dating each other and you can’t be happy for them, you should probably not torment yourself by being around them. Focus on other things you’ve been meaning to do, or meet new people. 

Dear Lestat, could you give me romance advice (since you’re very experienced with the topic)? I’m bi and I think I might like both my closest guy and girl best friends. The three of us are very close. My best girl friend knows I’m bi. She also recently told me she thinks she likes our other friend and idk how he feels about us. The three of us act a whole lot closer than just friends despite saying it’s only platonic. I really don’t know what to do. Thank you Santa Lestat. (:

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♛A polyamorous relationship? *sits up, grins, rubs his hands together* Anon, if and when you successfully manage it, you tell me how to do it! I’ve been trying for years to get Louis to accept David and David to accept Louis for this very arrangement; does it not make perfect sense that if they love me separately, they should be able to love me together, at the same time, in the same bed, or wherever we are?! Why the hell not! Alas.

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I do have some experience with threesomes – and moresomes – but only really outside the context of a relationship, and that is typically with people who don’t expect the ongoing relationship aspect. These purely physical interludes can be extremely satisfying, the extra set of hands, the extra lips… etc. Such indulgence. Like an upgrade from your bathtub to a jacuzzi with jets (Not that I don’t also love my bathtub as it is *flicks a fang*).

I won’t tell you it’s not worth trying, but I would advise you to tread carefully, especially if you’ve all called it platonic already. As in a two-person friendship that you might want to escalate into a romantic relationship, there’s the risk of losing them if the feeling isn’t mutual. How do you know when to do it in that situation? Well… every relationship, between friends or lovers, is defined by the people in it, you mutually set the expectations and limits together. 

When do you decide that you want to be closer to someone? What are the signals they give that they want that, too? Not every relationship requires physical intimacy, that’s something you mutually decide, too. 

My love life is flashing before my eyes and I can’t pick out answers to those questions *frowns* Unfairly, the best I can tell you is what’s been true for me, that you’ll know when you know, when you can’t keep your hands to yourself because you need their skin on yours, you want to feel their heartbeat with your own and you have a burning need to ask them, “Can I hold your hand?” … And you are 99% sure that they’ll say, “Yes.”

Dear Lestat, I recently saw you giving advice on matters of the heart, and I was wondering if you could give me some as well. This summer I broke up with my boyfriend (for which I had valid reasons). We attend the same lectures so I still see him twice a week. I know I don’t want to get back together with him; a part of me really loathes him… But another (treacherous) part of me is still attracted to him and secretly longs to embrace him (without consequences). What am I to do? Sincerely, H.

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♛I have been doing that, haven’t I? I have a terrible track record with relationships. I have plenty of experience in what NOT to do, that’s for damn sure… 

(Alright, well… there have been some wonderful relationships. I’m in a relationship now with someone who has a high tolerance for pain and almost limitless patience, thank the powers that be, but enough about Louis…)

*cracks knuckles* Well, H, this is, as they say, a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation.

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You’re going to have to put these feelings for him out of your mind and focus on your own life. You can do it. That relationship was grown by both of you, it became part of you, but it’s a severed limb now, what’s left is that eerie phantom feeling where it used to be.

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Being in love is intoxicating, there is a whole science behind that apart from the emotional addiction. Being in love is fun, it’s pleasurable. Your physical and emotional attraction to your ex is probably something like what recovering drug addicts feel for the drug they’ve sworn off. Just because he is a drug, does not mean he’s loathsome. Just because you feel drawn to him does not make you weak.

The trick really is not to “think” about it. It’s not constructive to give him your mental energy. Focus on other things. Don’t replace him with another lover just to have that high of being in love again. Love yourself. Please yourself, physically and emotionally. In time, this shadow of attraction to him will fade away. Trust me. 

*kisses,* L.

Dear Lestat, I wondered if you would give me advice on rather delicate matter. You see, I will be twenty in few days and I was never in a relationship. That in itself never bothered me, but lately everyone around me started to date someone, and it made me feel bit lonely. At the same time, I haven’t found someone yet that I would connect with on that level or that would share my interests, and I don’t think it would be right to date someone just for the sake of it. Any advice?

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♛You’re not yet 20 years old? There is plenty of time for you! There is no rush. Appreciate the other flowers blooming in the garden around you, let their happiness be your happiness. See if you can learn from their example.

There is an awful pressure in this modern age that is similar to the pressure of my mortal years, that being single is somehow considered as “a failure” or “missing out.” I can’t agree with this judgment, and I hope you don’t either.

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I have been in enough relationships to tell you that they are wonderful, but they are not all rainbows and

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all the time. It’s a part-time job! It takes effort! Being in a relationship is not an end point, it’s the beginning of a shared chapter with someone.

But I won’t lie to you, you might not ever find love. Or it may be right around the corner. Who can tell?

Let go of any feelings of inadequacy for this, if you feel it. Too many people think of life as a series of required chapters or items on a checklist that must be accomplished, and therefore, the failure to achieve them implies a failure in you.

Absolutely not so. “Failure.” “Success.” Let go of society’s narrow definition of these concepts. It’s far worse to settle for having someone in your life who goes through the motions of loving you, but doesn’t. Someone you don’t love. Someone you project your fantasies onto. Someone you want so badly to love you the way you need to be loved. So many people fall into this trap; locked to someone they end up despising sooner or later.

All the loves of my life were found when I pushed past my comfort zone.*  One thing is certain, love won’t find you if you close yourself off from the possibility and opportunity. I found Louis in pursuit of keeping my diet strictly evildoer, and there he was, too dignified to do it himself, throwing himself to the wolves in the hopes that they would slay him. Something led me there, among all the other dens of sin I might have gone to that night. Did fate lead me to him? I like to think so.

*Not that I have much of a comfort zone to begin with *shrugs*

You are whole as you are. Look at your triumphs in this life, look how far you’ve come. Look where you want to go, what you want to do. Give yourself some love.

And then love may just find you.

OMG! Did you hear about Angelina Jolie divorcing Brad Pitt? I never would of thought those two would separate.

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Your message was the first to inform me when I got it 5 days ago! I thought it was a prank but it’s looking pretty real.

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I don’t know what to think, I’ve gotten some conflicting information as to why it happened. They’re playing a lot of Angie’s movies on TV (INCLUDING MR. & MRS. SMITH BC DUH), they know we want to see her since it seems like she’s the one initiating the divorce. On the plus side, I finally got around to seeing Maleficent, which I liked. Did you know that baby!Aurora is played by Angie’s daughter Vivienne? It’s a cute little scene.

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[X] IDK if this quote is really Angie, but whoever said it was right. It sucks when a relationship ends, especially when there are kids involved. It’s their business and their family’s. Sometimes relationships, whether romantic or platonic, need to end. I’ve had mutual and one-sided breakups, it hurts every time.

I hope it’s not all some big publicity stunt bc neither of them need that, their kids definitely don’t need it.

I’d still take either or both of them in the new VC adaptation, Angelina could be Allesandra… Brad could be someone’s victim! Or an evil elder vampire that gets set on fire >;} PUT YOUR FANGS BACK ON BRAD.

For once in my life Louis, (no, I’m not asking you, Lestat.) I need advice on my love life. I have four men (3?) Pursuing me. And the one I like sends me into a sea of counfusion. His part of him acts intrigued and the other despises me.

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♠ “I haven’t had the vast experience that Lestat has had,” Louis says as he types. A distant “Hey!” is heard in the background, somewhat muffled by the TV. “I heard that!”

Louis turns back to the screen and continues: “I have, however, had more long-term relationship experience than he has. I can tell you that you do not want to be with anyone who openly despises you, or plays at doing so as if it was a game.” He looks up, considering, before resuming: “There have been times when I thought Lestat truly despised me, but if that were so, he would have left me long ago. His anger was due to his frustration with the invisible wall between us, the forced secrecy, and the relative slowness of my adaptation to my nature, whereas he had been all alone and taken to it so easily. Long after that, there were other times that I needn’t mention.”

“We began poorly. We know. What has kept us together is the kernel we each saw in the other of a similar tenacity for life. Despite anything I said or did, he knew I had a will that refused to surrender to Death, even to him. We were also powerfully intrigued by each other.” 

“You needn’t choose one of these suitors immediately. Do not place the entirety of the responsibility of your happiness in someone else’s hands. Your lover should support you in your own pursuits, should be altogether intrigued by you, and you should be supportive and intrigued by him.” Lestat approaches, and slumps beside Louis on the couch, reading over the response. 

“Don’t tell the person ‘should,’ don’t make it into dull requirements.” Lestat huffs, snaking an arm around his shoulders and drawing him close.

“Those are important elements, no?”

“It will happen naturally, if they are with someone who loves them.” Lestat says, drawing Louis in tighter.

“That’s so.”

“See, I have excellent advice. They should have asked me! Such ‘vast experience.’ A model lover.” Lestat plants a chaste kiss on his temple.

“When you follow your own advice, yes, you are.” Louis smirks.

“Am I not supporting you right now?” Lestat has managed to bring Louis entirely into his lap, gesturing at their position.

“You are indeed. Are you also intrigued by me?” 

“I’m – squished.” 

“I’ll have to find some way to intrigue you.”

“Putting away that laptop would be a step in the right direction, mon cher.”

*Louis hits Publish, and shuts the laptop*

Thanks Anne Rice

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littlewifeywife:

So I’m re-reading the Vampire Chronicles, and discovering all over again that I love the way Anne Rice depicts sexuality, attraction, and affection in her books, not just among vampires, but among humans as well.

People in platonic relationships never hesitate to say that they love each other, to show affection, to kiss.

Sexual orientation doesn’t seem to exist, really, especially with the undead. It seems that a century or two of immortality has rendered most of them indifferent in regards to gender.

I love the repeated narrative of “I hate you, but I haven’t seen you in a really long time, and I missed hating you in person, so come here and let me hug you and tell you how beautiful you are.” There is something very poignant in the way that they treasure the familiar.

Consent is super important in sexual situations in her books, and in simple social situations, and in regards to the giving and receiving of blood.

It’s recognized that people who have been made vampires without their consent are victims of trauma, even if they are men.

Hello! ^^ I’ve been thinking about something lately.. From looking through your recent posts and the asks about Nicki possibly coming back. Hypothetically, how do you think Louis and Lestat’s relationship would be affected if Nicki were to come back?

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Omg I know, wouldn’t it be lovely for them to just flop into eachothers’ arms and smile and laugh and everything is all sparkles and rainbows again? *u*

Relationships – platonic or romantic – are not guaranteed, they change and evolve over time. Even marriages fail! When Nicki asks for the Dark Gift, it’s not to be with Lestat, it’s what he thinks he deserves, one of the last gifts Lestat can give him to apologize. They were good for each other at one time, and grew apart. I think they both loved the idea of each other more than the ppl they really were, as often happens in relationships.

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[Nicolas & Lestat by @ashetray, probably the night Lestat turns him]

As a side note: I really didn’t realize there was so much love for Nicolas until I got on tumblr! I think he represents this generation’s disillusionment with society at large better than Lestat does, Nicolas’ rebellion is a modern-era grunge rebellion, bc he HAS TALENT, and is angry with the way it’s recognized, angry with so much about the way the world runs on autopilot, angry with societal ideals of success. He probably does have some mental issues, too, and I think this generation is more comfortable “coming out” with BPD, or manic-depression, etc. than in 18th century France or at the time TVL was written… with some counseling and/or medication, he might have had a better life.

So if Nicki came back:

If Nicki came back, they might get a little closure as long as they had a mediator present in the room to prevent carnage from breaking out. But they broke up on such bad terms that really, nothing can heal that breakage ;A; At this point, civil is probably the best they could manage, even though Lestat would probably bend over backwards if he thought he could get better than civil from Nicki.

Ask a Lestat or Nicolas RPer and they might have a more detailed answer on this, but anytime I see those muses interact with eachother, it’s pretty strained, and only slightly better if the thread takes place when they’re both still mortal.

BC let’s face it, by the time Lestat’s star was rising at the theatre, Nicolas was withdrawing deeper into himself and had had just about enough of Lestat’s bouncy optimism.

After Nicolas is turned he admits as much:

“It was to hurt others, don’t you see, the violin
playing, to anger them, to secure for me an island where they could not rule. They
would watch my ruin, unable to do anything about it.” I didn’t answer. I
wanted him to go on.

“And
when we decided to go to Paris, I thought we would starve in Paris, that we
would go down and down and down. It was what I wanted, rather than what they
wanted, that I, the favored son, should rise for them. I thought we would go
down! We were supposed to go down.” – Nicolas, The Vampire Lestat

Hit the jump for a little more, cut for length.

I think Nicki and Lestat needed eachother in the beginning and were very well-matched, they seem to be the first to really love eachother in the cruel environment they came from. They encouraged eachother to be better ppl, they were mutually supportive.

It all fell apart in Paris, and even if Lestat hadn’t been kidnapped by Magnus, it’s doubtful their relationship could have lasted.

The betrayal Nicolas felt when Lestat just disappeared that night was too great. Lestat leaves in the middle of the night, screaming, and reports that he’s fallen in love with some wealthy lady? No amount of gifts and money he sent to Nicolas could really substitute Lestat physically being with Nicolas the way that they were.

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Or you could try to play a role for someone, keep them on the surface as long as you can… they may leave ANYWAY bc you weren’t willing to open up. 

Let’s throw away the idea of capturing someone like a fish on a line and trying to claim them, some kind of bizarre ownership situation. Share as much of yourself as you are able to, and if they leave because of what they learn, then you can enjoy the time you spent together and be free to find someone who is more compatible with you.

You may never find someone who is perfectly compatible with you. OTP’s are a great thing to fantasize about but not necessarily realistic.

Be happy on your journey through this life, take care of yourself, and if someone shares that journey with you (as a friend or as a significant other) for a period of time, great, if not, also great.

Throw away the idea that you need someone to complete you. You complete you. 

Source: poems-and-words