everlastingporcelain:

I think today is a good day to let in a little sorrow, to allow myself to feel the world to fall in parts around me, because as it does, once again, i am forced to stand still as it happens, and there is no where to look to find solace.

The world is changing, ending for some, and we remain, outlive creatures we never imagine would have existed, things we would think humans would come to grow out from and evolution for the best, but then again, the world ends at different scales, from global, to my own little world and it makes me wonder, Will there be a future where I’ll be able to attend a party? Fill my house with the happiness I cannot hold inside, enchant mortals to feel the love I cannot longer reciprocate? Once I was sure it would never end, now I doubt.

Sometimes they cannot see what I have is envy when their lives end in my hands, can’t you see? with every year I am more condemned to see what’s coming, and as much the loneliness would throw me to the sun, the doubt keeps me on the edge of twilight, awaiting to see what could come next, perhaps deep inside hoping I am wrong about my assumptions, but my smile shall never fade, as much as I’ll remain standing, wondering, feeling, I just thought today would be a good day to remember what’s hidden behind the mask, holding it in my hands and realize how broken it is, running my fingers over the kisses that were once placed in adoration and the longing for the lips that placed them there, at least I know if the world ends, or my world ends, they were once there and that cannot be changed.

What a strange mix of feelings, perhaps its that balance what keeps me standing,