This is the world’s largest crystal ruby. Mark Mothersbaugh had the gem carved in the shape of an ice cream cone.
“A few years ago I became friends with a gemologist, and I saw all these gems that he had lying around, one of which was this big ugly stone that I picked up. “That’s the world’s largest ruby you’re holding.” He didn’t know what to do with it, so next time I saw him I asked if I could carve it. It’s right over there. [Points across the room to a glass case.]
I was thinking: Who do you sell the world’s largest ruby to? Somebody who’s uber-rich. And people don’t get uber-rich unless there’s something dark attached to it. It’s always communists in China, or drug dealers in South America, or oil people in Russia. It’s those kinds of people who are going to want the world’s largest ruby. And I wanted to fuck with them in some way. So I said: I’m going to carve it into a turd. But it will look like a custard. I’m going set it on top of a cone, and it will look like a sweet-treat, but really it’s a turd. They’ll buy it because it’s the world’s largest ruby, but only I’ll know that it’s a turd.“ – Mark Mothersbaugh
me at 4 am, thinking: what if i just like drew daniel in nothing but the same gaudy crop top and acidwash cut-offs and refused to acknowledge that i did when asked
Thank you for your loyalty, if you’ve been following me this long then you know when I’m recycling old answers/pics at this point :O … I aim to keep content as fresh as possible, and drag up the old stuff only if it’s a reeeeally good fit *u*
You have indeed been following me for almost 2 yrs! I love seeing familiar names in my Activity feed, and I ALSO have all the “X is now following you” messages (bc I am a little bit of a borderline hoarder)(in a good way), so here’s yours, from 5/31/14, the day you hit that Follow button and jumped into our trashpile improved your dash:
[Bottom photo] the opening page of actual published novel The Blood Vivicanti by Becket and Anne Rice
what fresh un-edited hell is this
omfg amazon: [Becket] has been working for Ms. Rice since 2005, and he has spent that time
learning from her the craft of writing. He is also the author of “Key
the Steampunk Vampire Girl and the Dungeon of Despair.” h elp i’m fucking wheezing what IS THIS SHIT
THANK U FOR SHARING THIS COMPARISON OMG i’m speechless. #A heartbreaking work of staggering genius.
you know what i really want? a modern dudebro vampire. just a typical obnoxious straight boy in a neon tank top and cargo shorts who also happens to be a creature of the night.
“okay, dude, i’m only feeding on you ‘cause i’m starving and there aren’t any hot girls around. no homo.” “wait, you’re gonna suck my blood?” “no, i’m gonna drink your blood. i don’t suck, that’s gay. don’t make this weird, bro”
“ah, i see you’re staring pensively out the window, chad. ruminating on the curse of your newfound immortality?” “nah man, it’s just… i got, like, some flecks of blood on my adidas while i was feeding and they haven’t come out…”
“we do not drink… wine.” “okay but is beer cool? and can we still smoke weed?”
he joins a 24-hour gym because being undead and allergic to sunlight is no excuse for skipping leg day. tragic music swells as he looks over his “sun’s out guns out” tanks (he has seven of them). his coven is a fraternity. someone make this happen
Lestat: WOW LIFE SUCKS ON THIS MAGICAL MALL ISLAND THAT DOUBLES AS OUR SAFE HAVEN (seriously what let me live there pls), GOING 2 THE DESERT, BE BACK NEVER
Other coven members: kay
Lestat: *gets a strong tan job* well fuck, i’m still alive, hi David
David: wat
Lestat: lol sweet pad bro
James: psssst hey kid, you wanna do some things?????
Lestat: UR DAMN RIGHT I WANNA DO SOME THINGS
David: LESTAT YOU CAN NOT SWITCH BODIES WITH THIS JAMES FELLOW HE IS A MONSTER AND A LIAR AND IT WILL END IN DISASTERRRRRRRRR
Lestat: i don’t see how this could possibly go wrong
David: did you even hear me?
Lestat: ok but
Louis: can u not *strops*
Lestat: LUMP OFF HAHAHAH I DO WHAT I WANT YOLOOOOO
Lestat/James: *Freaky Friday’d*
James: SMELL YA LATER *whoosh*
Lestat: rude…OOH DOGGIE 😀
Lestat: WAIT ALL OF THIS IS TERRIBLE BUT ALSO KINDA MAGICAL BUT MOSTLY TERRIBLE IDK WHAT I EXPECTED BUT PEEING IS GROSSSSsss….*pneumonia’d*
Gretchen: r u ok
Lestat: clearly not, Claudia
Grethcen: what
Lestat: what
Claudia: really though, r u ok, i’m not even really here
Claudia: p.s. you’re still an asshole
Lestat: 200 YEARS WILL GIVE YA’ SUCH A CRICK IN THE NECK
Gretchen: ur not that bad a person
Lestat: nah, i am tho. wanna smoosh, y/y
Gretchen: ok sure
Lestat: THAT WAS FUN *flies home*
Lestat: LOUIS MY LOV-
Louis: ENJOY AN ASS-HANDING– Oh…
Lestat: OW LOL WAIT HELP :(((((
Louis: NO SAVE URSELF
Lestat: Louis pls
Louis: ENJOY BEING ALIVE YOU TREMENDOUS LITTLE SHITTTttt… *disappears*
Lestat: I WILL BURN DOWN YOUR TRASH SHACK PLEB oh, so hey, Marius, while ur here-
Maruis: nah *disappears*
Lestat: Marius why 😥
Lestat: OH HI DAVID pls help I hecked up 😦
David: ok fine you scamp
Lestat: SHIT YES ROAD TRIP
Lestat: WE’RE ON A BOAT
David: Lestat pls
Lestat: wanna bump uglies
David: LESTAT FOCUS
Lestat: ok but do you
David: YOU MUST LEARN TO REDO THE THING
Lestat: :((((
David: in a few hours, we strike
Lestat: ok ok I GOT THIS
Lestat: DAMN I FORGOT HOW FINE I AM *puts on “Goodbye Horses”*
David: THE CHICKEN IS IN THE POT
Lestat: OK NOW????
David: yea, i brought a gun lol
Lestat: *SCHWIP*
James: gdi gdi gdi gdi
David: I’M TOO RICH TO DIE *blam*
Lestat: ??????
Lestat: PROFIT!!! zzzzz…
Lestat: DAVID WHERE ARE U
David: MIAMI, DUH AND/OR HELLO
Lestat: o i c
David: dark gift pls
Lestat: what, really, oka- WAIT JAMES YOU MOTHER FUCKER, LESTAT SMASH
David (James): x_x
Lestat: fuck oops
Lestat: *flies back* LOUIS LET’S REBUILD OUR HAPPY HOME
Louis: what
Lestat: wait, brb!! 😉 *gone*
Louis: um
David: writing is sweet
Lestat: lol nice hotel
David: YOU SCAMP
Lestat: how’s the whole being young again thing going for ya?
David: Lestat no
Lestat: David yes
David: OH GOD WHY- okay fine, but be gentle
Lestat: DRINKY DRINKY WELCOME TO THE *~*SAVAGE GARDEN*~*
David: woah, yeah this is pretty sweet, l8r tho
Lestat: DAVID WHERE ARE U
Lestat: I don’t know what I expected
Lestat: ugh w/e i’m a monster 😦 *flies home*
Louis: WELCOME HOME DOUCHE CANOE
Lestat: love u too boocakes
Lestat: wait what…David?????
David: ROAD TRIP PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
Lestat: AWWWWWW YESSSS 3TP 5EVARRRRrrrr…
Lestat: Wow I am still so alone 😦
THE END
OKAY I can’t take this, I’m going off the grid. Probably to a coffee shop to read this miserable torture device heartbreaking work of staggering genius.
I’m going to the booksigning tonight, so if you have any questions for me to ask AR, message them to me, I have tumblr on mobile so I’ll check for those.
Leave me your opinions/impressions/questions as you read Prince Lestat, I will publish some! Under cuts, if they’re spoilers ;]
I-want-my-IWTV 