takemetocoffin-or-losemeforever:
Interview with the Vampire + The Onion headlines [part 2]
Tag Archives: Iwtv
omg can you make an image edit of Lestat saying “Bonjour y’all” please hahahaha
im gonna liveblog interview with a vampire so get ready kids
brad pitt talking in monotone is the single weirdest and funniest thing i have ever seen
i think im developing a thing for 80s/90s christian slater
“how can i put you at ease?” idk maybe you shouldn’t have told him you’re a vampire
six minutes in and there’s a montage with dramatic music and a deadpan monologue voice over provided by brad pitt i love this movie already
aaaaannnnnnnddd………….now they’re flying
they’re in mid air, tom cruise in a blond wig is drinking brad pitt’s blood, brad pitt made a sex noise when tom cruise detached himself from brad pitt’s neck, and then tom cruise dramatically dropped him into a river. i really do love this movie
as in all period dramas, there is a scene where a rich person in lacy nightclothes lies coughing and gravely ill in their massive bed in a huge mansion. even when the period dramas have vampires, there’s always this scene
question: how many times is tom cruise gonna attach himself to brad pitt’s neck in this film
also: how many more dramatic speeches is tom cruise gonna have, and how many more sex noises is brad pitt gonna make
this movie is so dramatic i can’t
do you mean to tell me that these two guys can just sit in a public tavern and casually drink someone’s blood in the corner until they die and no-one notices??
tom cruise: [offers him rat blood]
brad pitt: [makes an “is this bitch for real?” face]
brad pitt:
brad pitt:
brad pitt: [drinks it anyway]
tom cruise: read her thoughts
brad pitt: [makes an “is this bitch for real?” face]
brad pitt:
brad pitt:
brad pitt: [tries it anyway]
brad pitt:
brad pitt: i can’t
the “NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” then the high pitched squeak/laugh i’m losing my shit
in other news, this immortal vampire is also a grape-throwing eight-year-old
HE’S DANCING WITH THE FUCKING CORPSE
claudia: where’s mama??
lestat: [brief “oh shit what do i tell her without seeming like a homicidal maniac” moment]
lestat:
lestat:
lestat: she’s in heaven
they’re parents. its official. lestat and louis are an old married couple, complete with daughter. i can’t believe i don’t even have to make this up
“you’re mine and louis’ daughter now” gay vampire dads i cannot fucking believe this
claudia: eww dad when did u eat rats
louis: long time ago, before u were born
louis, silently in his head: and it was bc of fucking lestat so don’t blame that shit on me
can’t believe claudia is having a teenage rage while louis is like OH NO BBY CALM DOWN and lestat is yelling NOT IN THE FUCKING HOUSE
the only thing not making this a scene from a domestic family comedy/drama is the dead body
there’s door-slamming and everything amazing
claudia: oh btw they’re dead ¯_(ツ)_/¯
lestat:
lestat:
claudia: ¯_(ツ)_/¯
lestat:
lestat: fuck
lestat: LOUIS
THIS WAS WORTH ALL THE DIGITAL INK IT WAS PRINTED WITH
“question: how many times is tom cruise gonna attach himself to brad pitt’s neck in this film”
Not enough times. NOT NEARLY ENOUGH TIMES.
Yesterday my friend pointed out something I’d forgotten: papillon (the dog in Crimson Peak is a papillon) means “butterfly” in French.
Goddammit! Even the dog fits the theme!
I love it!
Look who’s eating the papillons here!
“My papillons, my butterflies, you killed them, ohhh nooo!”
Everything about you makes me happy!
Awww! such things u say *u*
But also, picture Lestat saying this to Louis as they’re cuddled up together:
Lestat: “Everything about you makes me happy!”
Louis: *smiles* “That’s so sweet of you.”
Lestat: “Everything except when you burn my stuff,”
Louis: “…”
Lestat: “…and when you cut your hair, and wear ragged clothes, when you lie about me to the press, and when you try to kill me, for whatever reason, and when you date my arch-nemesis-”
Louis: *sighs*
“Death for me, has never been a game. Never some quick, forgettable thing of the world. Death had been all I had known. Everyone and everything I brought myself to love was snatched away. I swore death itself must’ve had a fixation upon everything I cared for and when it got its golden opportunity is when it finally struck with a violent disaster and I was left to mourn in its ruin. All of its wreckage and remains of destruction was all I was left with. I didn’t understand the meaning of it at all…”
Independent Louis de Pointe du Lac from Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles.
~Semi-selective
~Open to AU’s
~Author: Logan
Hey! You seem like the right person to ask about this; How do we know Louis’ younger brother’s name? I remembered that it was Paul, and a google search tells me I’m right, but I can’t find it mentioned anywhere in ‘Interview’. What’s up with that?
Hello to you! Here’s one of my fave portrait-claims yes I invented that word just now of Paul:
[by Philip Alexius de Laszlo, Portrait of Raymond P. Johnson-Ferguson, 1923]
Paul is in fact mentioned by name in IWTV, but it’s only 3 times, and the first time is on page 26 (US Ballantine edition):
“I could almost make out the images of the saints on the walls. `Paul,’ I said softly, addressing my brother, `for the first time in my life I feel nothing for you,…” – Louis de Pointe du Lac, IWTV
…so if you were skimming a physical copy, it would in fact be hard to find the mentions at all! I have digital copies of all the books, makes for easier searching ;]
The first time Paul is mentioned, it isn’t by name at all, on the 2nd page. Paul was a big deal for Louis and he has to bring it up immediately.
“There was a tragedy … “ the vampire started. “It was my younger brother … He died.” – Louis de Pointe du Lac, IWTV
Would Louis have been in such a crappy state and basically trying to drink himself to death, shouting “COME FIGHT ME BRO” at everyone in the shittiest taverns of NOLA if not for his guilt over Paul? Would he still have met Lestat at some fancy ball? WHO KNOWS.
obsceneravensclamorousofthedead:
Inspiration??
vampiresarechildrenofthenight:
I'm 'Gentleman Death' in silk and lace, come to put out the candles.
I-want-my-IWTV 